1. Is it normal to just refer a patient to a surgeon without really getting in depth about everything AN?
Your ENT obviously punted -- that is, they didn't know enough about ANs to inform you so they sent you to a surgeon. I had the same experience with my otoneurologist. He made it seem like it was a dire emergency and I needed surgery immediately, which wasn't true. Your AN is small, not large. You have plenty of time to research your options, you have other options besides surgery, and you should not rush into having surgery -- which, like the other treatments for ANs, is irreversible -- until you have deemed it is the best course of action for you personally to take. That requires research on your part. Otherwise, you're just rolling the dice and essentially giving up your power of attorney regarding your body to an uninformed doctor who made a knee-jerk recommendation.
4. My ENT told me that 9mm x 4mm was "big," but seeing others who have upwards of 4cm, mine seems small in comparison.
Your AN is definitely classified as small. Your ENT does not know what he is talking about. Please, for your own sake, find a new doctor. That's strike two for your doc.
5. Is facial paralysis VERY likely after surgery?
It depends on the tumor location, the tumor's size and the integrity of the facial nerve's function before getting surgery (i.e., an already damaged facial nerve is more likely to suffer further damage to function on account of surgery). That said, the risk of damage to the facial nerve is generally considerably higher with surgical resection than with radiotherapy.
6. Do you recommend I get a second opinion? I just read on this forum of a person who got a second opinion and discovered that she didn't have an AN? How is it possible to be diagnosed with a tumor and then told that you don't really have one? That freaks me out.
DEFINITELY get a second (and third) opinion! Doctors are not gods; they make mistakes. Although manageable, having an AN is a very big deal. Don't trust your future to one person, no matter how knowledgeable.
8. What is average recovery? I don't have much leave from work — about 80 hours as of the end of November. And I don't have any other financial resource. I am worried about loss of income and would like to get back to work as soon as possible. Is it unrealistic to think that I will be back at work full time within a month of surgery?
I can't address this question, as I had CyberKnife (radiation) treatment instead of surgical resection (cutting the tumor out). But you should look into radiation treatments as an alternative if for no other reason than the downtime is much less than with surgery. Research GammaKnife, CyberKnife and standard FSR (fractionated stereo-tactical radiation). There is much information on this forum about all these types of treatments.
The most important thing for you to remember is this: you are the boss! Don't let any doctor push you into doing something before you're ready. You make the decisions. It's your body. You have to live with the (lifelong) consequences of your decision. If you do your homework and make your choice deliberately, you will come through this just fine.
We're here to help.
Best wishes,
TW