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Author Topic: death of my mother  (Read 6955 times)

badbadbrain67

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death of my mother
« on: November 13, 2010, 01:32:05 am »
Today my mother passed away after a few months of being ill. She was my caregiver before and after my AN surgery. She did it without any complaints.
She made six months of pure hell much easier. Although I hadn't fully recovered when she got sick, I was well enough to be able to return the favor.
It was a year ago last month that I came to visit my family, got sick, and ended up living with my mom for the last year of her life.
Before I left the hospital last night, I gave her a kiss and made a little joke that made chuckle and make a little comment of her own.
This morning they told us she had at most 10 days to live. I went to the hospital and planned on giving her a little message but she was heavily sedated
and she never regained consciousness.
I wanted to tell her that the last thing she did as a mother was to take care of one of her children while he was going through the most difficult experience of his life.
She didn't do it because she thought she had to do it, it was just a natural thing for her. And her son is going to be ok one day and that she should be very
proud of herself.
I never got to tell her that but somehow, I think she knows.
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grega

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Re: death of my mother
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2010, 05:46:56 am »
Thanks Victor for sharing ... should help make many others share their thoughts with their loved ones.

Prayers and virtual hugs to you.

Greg
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1.5 cm AN retrosig 11/04.
Drs. Henry Brem & Michael Holliday @ Johns Hopkins, Baltimore
SSD right. Tinnitus big-time, only when thinking of it.
BAHA since 7/20/10 ... really helps w/ hearing, specially after programming in subliminal message: "Hey, don't listen to your tinnitus!"

ppearl214

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Re: death of my mother
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2010, 07:09:13 am »
She knows.... oh, I bet she knows. Please accept my VERY deepest condolence for your loss.  I know your journey has been a very difficult one and knowing such a loving mother, out of pure natural mother instinct, did all she can for her son.... and as you were able to be there for her, what a true, lovely testiment of what mother-son relationships can be.  Know in your heart that she loved you dearly and as we read here, your endless love for her helped to bring peace to her soul.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Phyl
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"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness", Capt Jack Sparrow - Davy Jones Locker, "Pirates of the Carribbean - At World's End"

saralynn143

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Re: death of my mother
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2010, 07:27:13 am »
I'm sorry for your loss, Victor, but how wonderful that you have such loving memories of your mother. May they sustain you in the days ahead. I will have you and your family in my prayers.

Sara
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MVD for hemifacial spasm 6/2/08
left side facial paresis
 12/100 facial function - 7/29/08
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Kaybo

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Re: death of my mother
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2010, 11:59:31 am »
Oh, Victor, I know what it is like to lose a parent...I am so very sorry.  I will be praying for you and your family during this time.  I know it can be busy & demanding taking care of everything and all the emotions, but try to take care of YOU (that's what she would have wanted, sounds like) and get plenty of rest.

K :'(
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Great life!

pjb

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Re: death of my mother
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2010, 01:46:41 pm »
So sorry I am sure she knows and you were blessed to have lived with her this past year..

My prayers and thoughts are with you..

Best Wishes,

Pat
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Diagnosed with a 1 cm. AN had Retrosigmoid
Approach surgery July of 2009, several problems after surgery.

Jim Scott

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Re: death of my mother
« Reply #6 on: November 13, 2010, 02:02:24 pm »
Victor ~

Please accept my sincere sympathy on the death of your beloved mother.  Her love for you, manifested in her care and concern is poignantly reflected in your obvious respect and affection for her.  I'm sure she deeply appreciated your help and your presence during her final days.  I agree with you that your mother knows how you felt and that her love will always be with you. 

Jim
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4.5 cm AN diagnosed 5/06.  Retrosigmoid surgery 6/06.  Follow-up FSR completed 10/06.  Tumor shrinkage & necrosis noted on last MRI.  Life is good. 

Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is.  The way we cope with it is what makes the difference.

Brendalu

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Re: death of my mother
« Reply #7 on: November 13, 2010, 03:44:28 pm »
I am so sorry for the loss of you Mom.  She sounds like she was a very special lady.  Please accept my deepest sympathy and my prayers.  Brenda
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Brenda Oberholtzer
AN surgery 7/28/05
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msmaggie

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Re: death of my mother
« Reply #8 on: November 13, 2010, 05:12:37 pm »
 God's peace be with you during this difficult time.  My heart goes out to you because I know how this feels. She sounds likes a wonderful woman, and I am glad that you have treasured memories of your time together.

Priscilla

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Diagnosed  left AN 8/07/08, 1.9 CM
Surgery 12/10/08 at Methodist Hospital w/Vrabec and Trask for what turned out to be a cpa meningioma.

CHD63

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Re: death of my mother
« Reply #9 on: November 13, 2010, 07:43:20 pm »
Victor .....

May you have many fond memories of the love and warmth your mother gave to you.  But also remember the love and warmth you gave to her.  This mutual love and respect will remain with you the rest of your life.

Peace, my friend .....

Clarice
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Right MVD for trigeminal neuralgia, 1994, Pittsburgh, PA
Left retrosigmoid 2.6 cm AN removal, February, 2008, Duke U
Tumor regrew to 1.3 cm in February, 2011
Translab AN removal, May, 2011 at HEI, Friedman & Schwartz
Oticon Ponto Pro abutment implant at same time; processor added August, 2011

Adrienne

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Re: death of my mother
« Reply #10 on: November 13, 2010, 08:27:40 pm »
I'm so sorry.

I'm also sorry about the AN hell you've been through, but happy that it brought you closer to your mother with so much time together over the last year of her life.

Adrienne
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3.0 x 3.0 x 2.5 cm AN, left side.  Diagnosed Feb. 19th,2009
Retro Sig surgery with Dr. Akagami and Dr. Westerberg on May 26/09 at Vancouver General Hospital
SUCCESS! Completely removed tumor, preserved facial nerve, and retained a lot of hearing. Colour me HAPPY!

lori67

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Re: death of my mother
« Reply #11 on: November 13, 2010, 09:25:04 pm »
I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  It is so painful to lose a parent, but it sounds like you have wonderful memories of the time you had together that will help you through such a difficult time.

I know she is proud of you and grateful for you being there for her - you can be sure of that.  Sounds like you were very lucky to have each other.

Your family will be in my prayers.

Lori
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Right 3cm AN diagnosed 1/2007.  Translab resection 2/20/07 by Dr. David Kaylie and Dr. Karl Hampf at Baptist Hospital in Nashville.  R side deafness, facial nerve paralysis.  Tarsorraphy and tear duct cauterization 5/2007.  BAHA implant 11/8/07. 7-12 nerve jump 9/26/08.

kraynok2

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Re: death of my mother
« Reply #12 on: November 13, 2010, 10:33:15 pm »
Victor,
  I want to offer my deepest sympathy to you.  It was good that you were able to spend so much time with her this past year.  You were there for her, as she was for you and it is wonderful how close you two were.  I know what you are going through, as my father passed away my first year of college in 1970 unexpectedly.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Sandy
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moe

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Re: death of my mother
« Reply #13 on: November 14, 2010, 12:19:26 am »
Victor,
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. You two had a very special bond;
The last thing you gave her was a kiss and a chuckle, and I'm sure she was at peace. A mother's love is NEVER ENDING. I pray you feel her peace and presence during this time and in times to come.
Take one day at a time and take care of yourself.
Maureen
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06/06-Translab 3x2.5 vascular L AN- MAMC,Tacoma WA
Facial nerve cut,reanastomosed.Tarsorrhaphy
11/06. Gold weight,tarsorrhaphy reversed
01/08- nerve transposition-(12/7) UW Hospital, Seattle
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MLB57

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Re: death of my mother
« Reply #14 on: November 14, 2010, 10:54:30 am »
Dear Victor,

I am saddened to hear of your mother's passing. Please know however that you are fortunate to have had the love, caring and nurturing of your Mom.. Mine died when I was only 23 and we were not close. I wished she'd lived to be older as I think we could have bridged the gap. But it wasn't meant to be. And my dad died when I was 30 so I didn't have both parents my whole adult life. I am so happy for you that you had your Mom with you during your time of need and also you were there for her as well...

My deepest sympathy to you and your family

Sincerely, Mary (aka Grammy Mary)
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1 cm rt AN (retrosigmoid Jan 2001 UMASSMed Ctr/Worc, MA)
Residual left--continued growing--finished 30 FSR w/Dr Loeffler (Mass Gen/Boston MA) on Oct 22 2007... --April 2010--tumor shrank to 8mm and is a dark spot!!  Latest Update: April May 2017 scan shows no change!--Next MRI 2020!!  Life is good!!
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