Hi, Dave ~
I'm sorry to learn that after 3 years the watching and waiting is coming to an end and you're forced to make the tough decisions that all AN patients eventually have to face. We know its confusing. Let's be honest, what we all fear is making the 'wrong' decision and regretting it, later. Unfortunately the risk factor with AN surgery or radiation is unavoidable, the tumor being located where it is. The best any of us can do is to try to minimize those risks a bit. You've already started that by having the esteemed Dr. McKenna and the other physicians at MEEI on 'your' team. These are excellent doctors with lots of experience treating acoustic neuroma patients. My neurosurgeon and radiation oncologist both mentioned that the debulking/radiation approach I underwent was pioneered at MEEI and that the success rate was near 100%. That sold me. I had tumor reduction surgery (reducing the AN from 4.5 cm to 2.5 cm) and it's blood supply was surgically severed. Following a 90 day 'rest period' (I had no complications from the surgery and recovered rapidly) I underwent a carefully 'mapped' FSR regimen (26 sesssions over 5 weeks ) and within a few years, the resectioned and radiated AN was showing signs of necrosis (cell death) and had begun to shrink. I was fortunate but hardly an anomaly as many AN patients have had similar outcomes. Jan ('leapyrtwins') is one. She posts here frequently.
Of course, in the final analysis, you have to make the decision on what form your treatment will take. We all have to deal with that at some point and it never gets easier for anyone, but it must be done. I would suggest that you try hard to avoid allowing the 'what-if's' to overwhelm you. Yes, whatever procedure you chose will carry some inherent risks but they are just that: risks - not absolutes. I faced the same risks any AN patient has when opting for retrosigmoid surgery, then FSR. Lots of things could have went wrong. I knew that and I went ahead, anyway, because I had to. The tumor had grown and was not going to stop growing or just disppear because I was worried about the possible problems surgery/radiation might bring. My compassionate neurosurgeon told me unequivocally that "this thing can kill you". He was not the type of doctor that normally engaged in hyperbole, so I believed him. I also trusted him, implicitly. This is a major factor. You must have complete confidence in your doctor(s) and feel that they are 'on your side' and will do everything to help you come out of surgery (or radiation) with no or few complications. They cannot guarantee anything, only their integrity, which is crucial. Many of us went into surgery with that kind of confidence and I truly believe it helps our state of mind, enormously. Well, it did for me. I also believe in prayer and used it at the time. Still do. So, I'll pray that you can break free of your inertia by surmounting your fears and move forward to do what must be done for the sake of your health. We're a support site for AN patients and we'll be here on the forums to advise, answer what questions we can and, most of all, encourage and support you as you move forward.
Jim
