Author Topic: Mother-in-Law is Dying  (Read 9648 times)

kraynok2

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Mother-in-Law is Dying
« on: May 31, 2011, 05:21:13 pm »
I have not forgot my friends on here, but have not been posting, as we spent the weekend going back and forth to the hospital for my mother-in-law.  We got a call at midnight Thursday that my mother-in-law was found lying unconscious in the driveway.  Her local hospital life-flighted her to Pittsburgh where it was discovered that she had an aneurysm.  She is 88 years old and was in a coma with no responses to commands.  There were involuntary movements of her left side and her head moving around.  However, she is most likely blind in her right eye and paralyzed, arm and leg on the right side.  A respirator was put in, along with feeding and other ivs.  We prayed to be able to make a wise decision, as no one could tell if she was in pain or could hear or comprehend anything.  Monday we met with a different doctor who really told it like it is.  This doctor has been through this personally 3 times with family members and a friend, so was speaking from experience.  She said my mother-in-law will probably not ever recover.  The bleeding in the head is the worst several of them have ever seen.  She said we could not leave the respiratory tube in long.  The options were to take it out and do a tracheotomy if necessary, with a surgical feeding tube, or just take it out and let nature take its course.  Doing the trach might extend life 6 months.  She has a living will and does not want on machines if the problem is not fixable.  We decided to take the tube out and leave it up to God--no trach.  The doctor thinks she can live up to 3 weeks, but probably 7-10 days. She will be moved to a Hospice after Ed's sisters research what is available.  We hope she is not suffering.  Pray things will be peaceful for her.
Sandy

CHD63

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Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2011, 05:42:17 pm »
Oh Sandy .....

So sorry to hear this.  Not much to say other than many, many thoughts and prayers are with you and Ed and the whole family.  A very difficult time ......

Keep in touch.  Clarice
Right MVD for trigeminal neuralgia, 1994, Pittsburgh, PA
Left retrosigmoid 2.6 cm AN removal, February, 2008, Duke U
Tumor regrew to 1.3 cm in February, 2011
Translab AN removal, May, 2011 at HEI, Friedman & Schwartz
Oticon Ponto Pro abutment implant at same time; processor added August, 2011

ppearl214

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Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2011, 05:42:53 pm »
Sandy

I am at a loss for words. May there be no pain, may there be only peace in all hearts. I believe you are noted for Cinci, so please keep us updated.

May your faith and love of all those around you help carry you through this difficult time.

Phyl
"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness", Capt Jack Sparrow - Davy Jones Locker, "Pirates of the Carribbean - At World's End"

yardtick

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Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2011, 07:56:01 pm »
Sandy,

I'm very, very sorry for you and your family.  The hardest thing in life is letting someone you love go.   

Anne Marie
Sept 8/06 Translab
Post surgical headaches, hemifacial spasms and a scar neuroma. 
Our we having fun YET!!! 
Watch & Wait for more fun & games

Kaybo

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Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2011, 08:05:42 pm »
Sandy~

As with everyone else, I really have no words...I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers.

Translab 12/95@Houston Methodist(Baylor College of Medicine)for "HUGE" tumor-no size specified
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leapyrtwins

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Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2011, 08:13:14 pm »
Sandy -

so sorry to hear this news.

Prayers and hugs to you, Ed, and the rest of your family.

Jan
Retrosig 5/31/07 Drs. Battista & Kazan (Hinsdale, Illinois)
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ombrerose4

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Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2011, 08:16:10 pm »
Will say a peaceful prayer for you and your family.
Retrosigmoid 9/24/09
AN 2.4+ cm left side
Mount Sinai Hospital, NYC (Dr. Bederson and Dr. Choe)
BAHA surgery 1/4/2010

dalern

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Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
« Reply #7 on: May 31, 2011, 08:48:14 pm »
How sad.  I'm sending hugs and prayers.  I DO think she can hear you, so DO keep talking to her.  As an oncology nurse, I have watched a lot of things, and you'd be amazed what non-responsive patients just seem to know.
~Dale
Dale Barnes, RN, MSN, CLNC
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moe

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Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
« Reply #8 on: May 31, 2011, 09:50:23 pm »
Sandy,
I am so sorry to hear of your mother in law and my prayers go out for a peaceful end of life for all involved.
Hang in there,
Maureen
06/06-Translab 3x2.5 vascular L AN- MAMC,Tacoma WA
Facial nerve cut,reanastomosed.Tarsorrhaphy
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Suu

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Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
« Reply #9 on: May 31, 2011, 11:15:49 pm »
Hi from me too Sandy

I've been in the same position as you recently with my MIL passing away in February.  My FIL is now in hospital with secondary prostate cancer and will not be coming home.  He comes out of his painkiller stupors long enough to say how much he hates being there, that the nurses don't care, and the food is terrible.  :)
We sit beside him and listen.
Take care of yourself while going through this tough time mate because you need to be there for others as well.  Also take comfort in knowing that your MIL has had the best SIL that she could have had.
We are lucky to have each other on here and a big hug to your and your family is on the way from Down Under.

Warmest of wishes,
Suu xxoo
4cm Left side AN Translab August 18th 2010
Facial nerve not working
Nerve conduction Jan '11 Repeated 23rd May '11
SSD left side
5 ops in 6 weeks to fix CSF leaks
Tarsorrhaphy 9 Mar '11 Extended 26 Aug '13
Sling Thur 16 June '11
12/7 nerve graft 9 Feb '12

Jim Scott

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Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
« Reply #10 on: June 01, 2011, 03:11:40 pm »
Sandy ~

What a terribly difficult situation for you and Ed.  I'm so sorry you have to go through this.   At 88, Ed's mother has lived a long life.  Miracles do happen but accepting God's will for a life to end (even at an advanced age) can be hard.  However, once we surrender to the reality that a person in this situation is in God's loving hands and He will do what is best, it can make the transition from life to death, easier. 

My thoughts and prayers are with you, your husband and of course, your mother-in-law.

Jim
4.5 cm AN diagnosed 5/06.  Retrosigmoid surgery 6/06.  Follow-up FSR completed 10/06.  Tumor shrinkage & necrosis noted on last MRI.  Life is good. 

Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is.  The way we cope with it is what makes the difference.

Soundy

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Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
« Reply #11 on: June 02, 2011, 07:33:53 am »
Sorry to hear such sad news ... have been in that spot twice and it is never easy ... wishing your MIL a peaceful  journey
hugs to you and your family as you make your way through this
3mm AN discovered Aug 2004
Translab July 2 ,2007
3.2cm x 2.75cm x 3.3cm @ time of surgery

msmaggie

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Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
« Reply #12 on: June 02, 2011, 05:26:37 pm »
It is so hard to say goodbye.  I still miss my MIL at every family gathering and every holiday.  Cherish your memories of all the good things she represents to you! Those memories will be sweet, though poignant.
Priscilla
Diagnosed  left AN 8/07/08, 1.9 CM
Surgery 12/10/08 at Methodist Hospital w/Vrabec and Trask for what turned out to be a cpa meningioma.

saralynn143

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Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
« Reply #13 on: June 02, 2011, 05:29:44 pm »
Sandy, from what you have written, you have made the right decision. Making the decision, hard as it was, is easier than making peace with it. My prayers are that your mother-in-law remains comfortable, and that you and your husband's family find that peace. God bless you all.
MVD for hemifacial spasm 6/2/08
left side facial paresis
 12/100 facial function - 7/29/08
 46 - 11/25/08
 53 - 05/12/09
left side SSD approx. 4 weeks
 low-frequency hearing loss; 85% speech recognition 7/28/08
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kraynok2

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Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
« Reply #14 on: June 05, 2011, 08:49:35 pm »
Thanks to all of you for your thoughts and prayers.  They have been helpful.  Ed's mother was moved to a hospice Wednesday.  She passed away Friday.  Ed was with her and said she just took her last breath and it was very peaceful.  We are glad she did not have to suffer or stay like this for a very long time.  Once again, thanks to all of you for responding.
Sandy