Hello,
I have been reading many of the posts on this discussion forum and trying to find the right time to join. As you can see, I'm taking the plunge. Perhaps my observer status somehow shielded me a bit longer from the reality.
I'm sure you'll see that conciseness is not really in my nature. Writing is a bit of a release for me. However, I promise additional posts will be brief.
So here is my story. My AN was discovered on July 28, 2011. What led to this was actually an infection in my right ear that was challenging to clear up. After a couple trips to local PAs without any improvement I sought the help of a local ENT. While the ENT drastically changed the course of treatment and nearly an immediate improvement in my ear infection resulted, I still seemed to have some fullness in my left ear. It had looked clear the entire time, however I kept insisting there must be something wrong with the left ear too because I wasn't hearing well out of it during this time with my battles in the right ear. So my ENT suggest an audiogram to determine if and to what extent I was experiencing hearing loss in my left ear. The mention of a tumor being the culprit was just in passing, but certainly a consideration with unilateral hearing loss.The audiologist shared the results with me and confirmed there was infact a significant difference in hearing between my left and right ear. In particular, my left ear was poor with high pitches. Again, the mention of a tumor and this likely being related to the auditory nerve. So back to my ENT for futher consultation. At the follow up with my ENT it was suggested I have an MRI to rule out the possibility of a tumor.
The MRI was scheduled for a Wednesday and the consultation for Thursday. In the meantime, the radiologist had sent the disk with the MRI images home with me. I just couldn't help myself. I had to look. Wow, over 300 images of my brain. (Proof to the 2 teenagers in our house that I do have a brain. Although they sometimes think parental brain cells are pouring out.) I doubt that between senior pictures and our wedding I have ever had so many pictures. Although I certainly didn’t know what I was looking for/at, I imagined it should look symmetrical for each side of the brain. As I looked at it I kept thinking of Sesame Street…one of these things is not like the other. I could see a large white spot that appeared on the left side and was pushing things to the right. These images grossed out my husband and son. My daughter thought it was cool and wanted to show her friends. I turned to google images for MRI scans to compare. This probably prepared me a bit for what we were to about hear on Thursday.
When my husband and I went to the ENT's on Thursday afternoon to get the results we were taken to a consultation room where my images were on the screen. Here we were told I have an acoustic neuroma in my left ear. Because mine is 3.0 x 3.1 x 2.5 I was told this is large and rules out some of the treatment options available for smaller tumors, "wait and watch" it or even radiation to shrink it. So mine needs to be surgically removed. The ENT suggested specialists at various locations and also credible web sites for more information.
To this point I have compared the diagnosis to a summer road construction experience in Iowa...finding yourself on a detour and wondering how you ended up going the direction you were, feeling lots of bumps along the way, off the beaten path, rather disorienting, things coming at you too fast, watching for directions and signs, having to ask for directions, wishing it would stop because you were too busy to mess with this and thinking it will be great when its done but in the meantime trying to find the right path to get back on a smooth course.
Having this forum as a resource has felt a bit like getting a hold of a GPS device. I am getting some information to help me find the right path to healing. Consultations with several specialists coupled with countless hours of researching and lots of prayers have set a path for healing. My surgery will be perfomed by Dr. House and Dr. Schwartz of the House Ear Institute in Los Angeles, California on September 2, 2011.
I'm not sure my story is all that unique, although I can certainly appreciate and relate to so many of the comments posted on here. It's scary. I am devastated with the news. I am an active 44 year old with a professional career, 2 teenagers and a husband, and want to just wake up from this bad dream with it all gone. I want to be me again. I am anxious for the surgery to be here and am trying to prepare at home as well as at my office. However, my symptoms are worsening and I get terribly fatigued. Some days I feel like I'm nesting like an expectant mother preparing to bing home a newborn. I wish it were that kind of happy event.
One AN survivor on youtube has shared such a moving and inspiring story...she says she lost her hearing to this to save her life...because she lost her hearing she gets to live. When I'm on my pity pot I think of her uplifting comments and know that I have much for which to give thanks. I pray for the patience to leave this in God's hands and that He will guide the work of the surgeons hands.
Thanks to all the AN survivors who are willing to stay connected with those of us just entering this forum. You are truly paying it forward. I hope that my healing journey will result in me being able to do the same for others.
I have created a page on the CaringBridge and welcome anyone who wants to be more connected with my journey
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/kathysconnection