Need to vent. Doc said I'm a hypocondriac

[b28]

I went to my neuro for some symptoms I was really worried about. I initially saw her 2 months ago for my original symptoms. As I have said before, I haven't had my MRI yet that she order at that appt b/c of insurance problems. We are hopeful that I will be able to have it Tuesday Jan.24th. I've really been having really noticeable balance problems for the last few weeks that are concerning and bothering me. I can't stand without swaying and the direction is I usually sway is backwards. It feels like my head is being pulled back.  Also, in the last couple weeks I have noticed a couple times where my head will start bobbing up and down very slightly. And the other thing that really worried me was a couple evenings ago while eating supper I started having problems swallowing. Well, she basically said that since I've been on the computer alot and "obsessing" over this that I'm somaticizing and a hypocondriac causing my problems from stressing so much.  I'm so mad b/c I she wouldn't even give me time to tell her all my concerns and didn't even ask me any questions like "is there anything else you have questions about?" or "has this ever happened before?" She didn't even give me any explanation or ideas as to what else my be causing my symptoms. At the last appt she said she thinks it's something with my inner ear but wanted to do MRI to be thorough. This time she didn't say ANYTHING about inner ear or what might be causing this.  She said she's sure the MRI is going to come back fine and even bet on it.  And she said my physical exam was normal. Well how the heck can she say it was normal when she told me to walk across the room one foot in front of the other(the drunk walk) and I could barely do it. And she had me close my eyes while standing and I literally fell over. But according to her that was normal evidentally.  So basically what I got from that appt is that it's all me which is bull****. I know how I've been feeling and it is not normal. There's definately something going on and obviously it might not be AN but something's wrong.  I told her I'm tired of being off balance all the time and that I stumbled backwards 2 times during the national anthem at my son's basketball game earlier this week and she didn't say anything or seem concerned. How can that be normal??? How could I be causing being off balance all the time myself??I've been having balance problems for four and a half months now!!!! UGGGHHHHHHHHH! I'm so upset!!!!!

[ppearl214]

As we know, the only way to determine if there is a "mass" (ie: AN or another type of growth) is for the MRI, which, as you note, we hope is to be done on the 24th.  In all honesty, hoping it is not an AN.  Now, there are soooooo many other reasons for these symptoms to occur and must be examined if the MRI determines that there is no growth (again, hoping you don't).

Over time here on the forums (been here a while..... ok, too long for me to remember......), we have shared/heard stories of enhanced symptoms due to stress. We know this to be medically true.  We remind everyone to take a deep breath... take a step back.... as we all need it.... I've done it numerous times myself for the numerous ailments I have (the AN I had treated was minor in comparison to my other ailments that continue in my life as many here know... and have witnessed when they met me).

Dr's are certainly not gawds... we all know that.  We need for you to hang in there until the MRI is done... which is crutial to your mental/emotional well being.  No worries about venting... that is why we are here (and try not to have the astericks used around here! ) but let's see what the MRI says to help bring peace of mind for what has been ailing you.

Hang tough. I know easier said than done.... but we need for you to hang tough and keep us posted on the MRI to help determine what is going on.

Be strong!
Phyl

[mindyandy]

I remember when I was at the ENT doctors and he was looking in my ear saying he doesn't see anything wrong. Hmmmmm...well since you have been having issues the past few months I will send you for an MRI just to rule things out. As I was walking out I was thinking...MRI why? Knowing my luck you'll tell me I have a brain tumor  He said chances are not likely. Well good thing he did send me for that MRI. I really knew something was not right when I did go for my MRI and as I was sitting up from the table getting ready to leave the tech asked me "when do you see your doctor again"? That freaked me out cause I knew they found something.

Not to discredit your concern. I totally understand your frustration. I do hope you get your MRI. I also hope they find nothing 

Mindy

[b28]

Thanks for the replies.  I'm not upset bc she's doubting an AN, I'm not convinced I have one. I'm just upset at how she handled things and treated me. She completely invalidated me and discredited everything I said. She was not caring and reassuring and didn't ask me any questions. I couldn't even tell her/ask her about any other things that I was wondering about. She told me the reason she had me come see her(I called the day before with my worries) was basically to calm my worries and she said we can't keep doing this and that she's going to tell the insurance company they need to approve the MRI or they're going to be losing a bunch of money paying for appts(b/c she thinks I'm going to keep coming back. I'm not)  Ultimately she said not to worry so I'm honestly not. I'm mad at the way she handled it and didn't give me any ideas as to what it would be from when last time she told me she thought it was inner ear.

[b28]

Oh, and I also feel that something is wrong b/c on the elevator going up to her office I felt as if I was being pulled to the floor head first. I had to hang onto my husband's arm very hard to keep from dropping. It was such an incredibly strong feeling. It was only 1 floor.  Forgot to tell her that but I don't think it would have mattered.  On the elevator going down (1 floor) I felt like was going to fly through the ceiling.  I have never experienced anything like that before in my life. That incident alone tells me something is going on.

[ppearl214]

no one is saying you are not experiencing symptoms.... not at all.  Stress can enhance them (medically proven) so stress relievers (ie: meditation and such) can help bring the stress levels down so your very real symptoms will hopefully not enhance for you.

No one is saying you don't have these issues... it's noting ways to help try to keep them at a minimum (if possible) until you get answers.

We always tout here to get multiple opinions as this is your body, not the dr's.  Although insurance issues may be plaguing re: MRI's, etc... they will usually cover at 100% (maybe dr office co-pay) for 2nd opinion. 

My sister told me years ago, with all of my ailments (and trust me, too many to count.... I am deemed "disabled" in multiple capacities)... "your body comes first, deal with the bills later".... and I took that advise.  I have chosen to seek out my answers and treatments... and dealt with the VERY hefty bills later.  I had to know, for me... that my overall well-being was ok (in my case, as best as it could be) so I could move on in life (ie; work, I got married, moved housing, etc).    Again, my own personal experience... worked for me... could/maybe work for others.

So, you are allowed to be peeved with the dr... but never stop seeking answers.  Deal with the bills later. It's your body..... take control of it before it (your body) takes control of you!

Hang tough!
Phyl

[b28]

Thank you very much Phyl. I'm sorry if I came off rude or offensive, I certaintly wasn't meaning to , just venting like I have been to my husband. I think part of the reason it's so upsetting to me is that she's been my neuro for about 13-14 yrs for my myasthenia gravis and juvenile epilepsy. So for her to just write me off like that and not listen to me or ask any questions really hurt.  I too for the last two months have been debating whether or not to just get the MRI and just foot the bill.($6600 yikes!!) As much as I hate the thought of incurring that( We have four kids and we just went bankrupt last spring so incurring that kind of debt scares me) I have definately come close to doing it.

[New girl]

Hi b28 - Sorry you are going through all this.  Your doctor might change their tune once you have your MRI.  If you still feel you are not getting the medical help you need I would go see a different ENT.  Luckily all my AN doctors were great however I recently switched my primary care doctor since I felt as though she was often rude and condescending to me.  Who needs that!  Good luck for your MRI.

[chloes mema]

I don't agree with how your doctor handled you but there maybe be a little truth to what she said.  I've been accused of being a hypochondriac for decades so now I can say, "see I told you something was wrong!".  All kidding aside; I know personally that anxiety has / does cause my symptoms to escalate and my internist finally gave me a prescription for Valium after a very long talk. I filled the prescription but haven't taken any, what I have done is meditate, eat healthy, and exercise, exercise, exercise.  Some days are better than others but you gotta keep on keep'n on.  I know, for me personally, when I first starting reading the posts on this forum I would "get" whatever symptoms I was reading about.  There's a medical word for that but I can't remember what it is.  It got to the point where my husband and my rector told me to stay off the site for a while.  The mind does powerful things both positive and negative.   
I agree with the other posts here that you need to get the MRI done and then go from there.  Also, have you thought of seeking out a different doctor?  For your own peace of mind you must stay strong which is really hard to do, I know.  Frustration seems to be part of this game. 
Keep us posted on your journey.

Karen 

[ppearl214]

Thank you very much Phyl. I'm sorry if I came off rude or offensive, I certaintly wasn't meaning to , just venting like I have been to my husband. I think part of the reason it's so upsetting to me is that she's been my neuro for about 13-14 yrs for my myasthenia gravis and juvenile epilepsy. So for her to just write me off like that and not listen to me or ask any questions really hurt.  I too for the last two months have been debating whether or not to just get the MRI and just foot the bill.($6600 yikes!!) As much as I hate the thought of incurring that( We have four kids and we just went bankrupt last spring so incurring that kind of debt scares me) I have definately come close to doing it.

Scares us all.... but not knowing scares us even worse (as already noted).

Do what is best for you, your family but most importantly, you physical AND mental/emotional well-being.  Although she's been your neuro for a tremendous amt of time... it may be 1 of 2 things... she either knows you too well and shares with you what her beliefs are regarding the situation (and how you interpret it is solely up to you.....) or..... if it's time to move on... change can be a good thing as well.

You will know what is best for you and your personal situation...... deep breaths..... and do what is best for you.  "Not knowing" can be the downfall to what could (hopefully!) be good news (ie: hoping you do NOT have an AN)

Phyl

[Cheryl R]

If it does end up that you would have an AN,then I would see a neurotologist and not just a neurologist.    They would have a little more expertise on ANs.      Your neurologist is good for your other conditions.   It is hard when one has various health issues and some may overlap some symptoms of each other.       It is hard to not have some anxiety issues when have several health issues to watch and get the best treatment for.      An MRI with contrast would tell about the AN.        God luck in how it goes for you.                        Cheryl R

[Rivergirl]

Hope you get that MRI tomorrow and eliminate some reasons why you feel that way.  There can be many reasons for what you are experiencing and in this AN world we have a big variety of weird symptoms and they are real.  Sounds like a supportive husband...good..good.  Keep searching for answers and keep us posted.

[b28]

Thank you everyone for your support, input, and advice. Unfortunately my MRI has been postponed b/c insurance is still deciding whether or not this is from a pre-existing condition(which it is not) since I'm still in the pre-existing clause period. They've had a week to figure it out. I talked to someone from my hospital that does the preregistering and she said she called insurance yesterday to see where they're at and they said they coudn't find some of the information they needed so my lady had to resubmit it. However, I am feeling not so worried after my appointment even though it wasn't a very good one so that is good.

[Crazycat]

b28,

Earlier you mentioned that you had been treated for myasthenia gravis for 13-14 years. It is interesting that the symptoms you've been experiencing seem to mirror (somewhat) the symptoms of mysthenia gravis, which is a neurological condition. While AN patients share most of the same symptoms with some variation (I.e., facial numbness, facial paralysis, swallowing issues, equilibrium problems etc...) the symptom shared by most everyone (that I know of) is some degree of hearing loss. That you never mentioned hearing loss (and I read through your posts several times to be sure I hadn't missed any reference to it) suggests that what you're experiencing may be more related to the mysthenia gravis than to Acoustic Neuroma;
but of course, the only way of conclusively proving this is with a head MRI and contrast dye.

[Silver Sonnet]

How horrible that a doctor would treat you that way!  Without a doubt, I'd find a new doctor, and I'd make a point of telling the old one (and her HMO or any hospital she's associated with) exactly why.

Whatever you do, DON'T STOP FIGHTING FOR YOUR HEALTH.  When I suddenly lost the hearing in my right ear, I was given antibiotics for a "hidden" ear infections and various other non-cures for two months before I was finally referred to an ENT.  ENT said, had I come in right away, steroids might have brought back my hearing, but after two months, it was too late.

After an exam, he said that sometimes sudden hearing loss "just happened" and that I'd have to learn to live with it.  Luckily, the audiologist had mentioned that my ear drum was not moving at all.  So I demanded an explanation for that, and the ENT very grudgingly ordered an MRI.  He also promised me that it would show no problem at all.

Boy, was HE wrong!

Stand up for yourself, and if your doctor doesn't have the time or inclination to listen to you, find someone who does.