Crazyjster ~
Of course I'm very sorry to learn of your multiple issues following AN surgery over five years ago. Your anger, disappointment and frustration are certainly understandable. I would feel pretty much the same way in your shoes. I think we all would. Your anger at not being told what could happen post-op is perfectly rational. Most doctors do give their patients the 'worst case scenario' but my neurosurgeon assured me that, although he couldn't offer me a guarantee none of the negative stuff would happen, that he would do everything in his power to make sure it didn't. That was why he 'de-bulked' my large AN (4.5 cm) instead of trying to completely remove it and risk damaging facial nerves (my greatest concern). His hand-picked surgery team was top notch with one person brought in from out-of-state for his expertise. My neurosurgeon had 30 years experience removing acoustic neuroma and admitted that he didn't always get the desired outcome (translation: the patient had post-op issues as you have) but that the surgery procedures had come a long way and he stayed on top of them. I should mention that he was then in his late sixties (now retired). The upshot to this is that the doctor's skill can have a great effect on the outcome and, as frustrating as it seems, a neurosurgeon is judged on whether the tumor was safely removed, not on the patient's post-op problems. Not that it is any comfort to you but I suspect this is why your doctor considers your case a success. The tumor was removed and that was his 'job'. In his opinion, 'mission accomplished'.
I won't presume to tell anyone how they should feel in this vexing situation but I will suggest seeking remedies for your disequilibrium issues, which, if surmounted, might lessen or possibly eliminate some of the other problems you're experiencing. As for your spouse, I suggest he read the posts on this forum to come to grips with the unfortunate ramifications AN surgery can sometimes have on patients and the struggles they have to deal with long after the surgery and hospital discharge. Due to the location of the AN, surgery can trigger a host of issues, as it has in your case and they are not always treatable or resolve quickly (although some do). Recovery, as my doctor explained before the operation, is measured in months, not days or weeks, as with most other surgeries. I was blessed with an excellent surgical outcome and relatively rapid recovery but a quick perusal of these forums, where I've been contributing since 2006, will demonstrate that isn't the case for every AN surgical patient. That fact is one reason these forums were created and continue to exist. They are here to help us support each other and to offer suggestions and, most importantly, support. As AN patients ourselves, we 'get it' and we want to offer our help in whatever form is useful to you. Please feel free to avail yourself of that help or simply post a rant, as you feel necessary. We do that, too from time to time and it can be somewhat cathartic. Meanwhile, thanks for joining and posting - and may you have better days ahead.
Jim