Joe ~
I'm terribly sorry to learn of this upheaval in your life after a 20-year marriage. Not having children is a blessing, of sorts as is the fact that, heart breaking as this must be for you, at least there isn't another man in the picture, which often makes the already-stressful divorce process even more toxic. You are totally correct in your assertions that breaking the news to your family and circle of friends should come from you and no one else. About the only positive aspect of this is that at 40, you can still have a 'second chance' at marital happiness. I wish you that and more as you face this challenge and begin a new chapter in your life.
If you need to take a further hiatus from moderator duties here, I'm sure Judy V. will understand, just as I do (and I trust that goes for Phyl and Jay, too). Let us know, preferably on the Moderator forum. Thanks.
Jim