Hi! I'm not an expert, but our situations sound a bit similar. I had a 9-hour translab surgery last October 26 and was off for 8 weeks. I then worked 2 20-hour weeks and went back to work full-time in late December.
Here are the caveats - I'm married but don't have children, and I work from home--telecommuting doing software work, so I know it was quite a bit easier for me than for many others who have to get ready and drive to and from an office every day and who can't completely crash when work is over. And I do mean completely crash : )
I was SO glad that of my first 4 full-time weeks, 3 were only 4 day-weeks due to the holidays.
Also, my surgery was in October, and I really don't remember much from the following January to May. I pretty much worked, ate, and slept.
I'm not saying this was a bad time; far from it. I was tired but happy and healing and supported by friends and loved ones who let me take the time I needed to re-enter my life, after all it's brain surgery! But it was quite a self-focused time meaning I was doing only what I could do and nothing more. God bless my husband for making us a lot of frozen pizzas! Not quite what one should eat to heal, but better than nothing.
It's been over a year now, and I still think I have a bit less energy than I used to, or maybe it's just that I'm older. I didn't have body aches like you mention, so all I can recommend that you really listen to your body and to your doctor. My doctors told me it would take 9 months to a year for my face to heal, and I think that guideline helped because I knew ahead of time not to expect too much from myself too soon.
Good luck, and you're doing the right thing getting more information, and some moral support to boot, here on the forum! I know I did.