You are right. It arrived today by over night mail. I went and had my blood drawn today. Now I am getting nervous. The funny thing is I get this way until my face starts feeling full than I just want this this thing out.
Kara ~
I believe this is known as having conflicting emotions, such as being elated over, say, a job promotion but worrying that you may fail in the new position (
elation/despair). As you stated, you worry about the surgery (
which is rational) but really want the tumor out (
equally rational). The emotions conflict but eventually your determination to have the surgery will surmount your fears about it's possible negative ramifications.
Make every attempt to focus on the positive (
no more AN) and although you're well aware of the risks, try not to allow yourself to dwell on them. Remember, you'll have a lot of folks thinking of and praying for you and you're having your AN surgery in a facility with a sterling reputation among AN surgery patients. I'm confident that you'll do well.
Jim