Dateline: Geneva, Switzerland
At a press conference today in Geneva scientists at CERN announced a breakthrough in Tachyon research resulting in new treatment of tumors and other medical conditions.
The European Organization for Nuclear Research, known as CERN, is an international organization whose purpose is to operate the world's largest particle physics laboratory. Established in 1954, the organization is based in the northwest suburbs of Geneva on the Franco–Swiss border.
The laboratory employs just under 2,400 full-time employees, 1,500 part-time employees, and hosts some 10,000 visiting scientists and engineers, representing 608 universities and research facilities and 113 nationalities.
CERN's main function is to provide the particle accelerators and other infrastructure needed for high-energy physics research.
Several important achievements in particle physics have been made during experiments at CERN. They include:
1973: The discovery of neutral currents in the Gargamelle bubble chamber.
1983: The discovery of W and Z bosons in the UA1 and UA2 experiments.
1989: The determination of the number of light neutrino families at the Large Electron–Positron Collider (LEP) operating on the Z boson peak.
1995: The first creation of antihydrogen atoms in the PS210 experiment.
1999: The discovery of direct CP violation in the NA48 experiment.
2005: The verification of the existence of Tachyons.
2010: The isolation of 38 atoms of antihydrogen.
2011: Maintaining antihydrogen for over 15 minutes.
2012: A boson with mass around 125 GeV/c2 consistent with long-sought Higgs boson.
Since 2005 CERN has been conducting considerable research into the use of Tachyons in science and medicine.
A Tachyon is a sub-atomic particle that moves faster than light. As noted by Einstein, Tolman, and others, special relativity implies that faster than light particles could be used to communicate backwards in time.
However, this is not practical given the current state of technology so CERN turned its research to more practical and immediate areas and discovered that radiating a tumor with Tachyons created a temporal regression of the cells of the tumor restoring the tumor and the surrounding tissue to a point in time before the tumor existed, thus eliminating the tumor and restoring damaged nerves and tissue to their previously healthy state.
Professor Jeffrey T Spalding, a reknowned physicist, author and lecturer commented, “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
And reminded us that today is April Fools Day.