A little over 4 years ago, I had my surgery to remove my AN. I met many of you on the forum at that time and it helped me so much.
I also traveled to Boston to the AN Brunch and to see my husband run the Boston marathon.
I was post op a few weeks; here is our story. That weekend meant so much to me. I'm just being nostalgic in light of the terrible events today at the marathon. Praying for all involved.
Here's my story...
Boston, Brunch, and Becoming Courageous
The Boston marathon is the Super Bowl of races if you are a distance runner. After several years of running marathons casually, Gary (my husband), got the ‘bug’ – to do a marathon fast enough to qualify for Boston. His times improved, he started getting close, oh so close. A few of his friends qualified; he wanted to give it a try. To do this, you try to select the races with a fast course – Chicago, Houston, Steamtown. Fast means flat, or point to point downhill. He ran these, but kept missing that magic number of 3:30:59 by just a few minutes. To a non-runner, it can sound ridiculous to say this is ‘heartbreaking’ but it’s getting so close to that goal then missing it. Finally, one year training was going great. He had a coach (Mike Broderick) and a plan. He faithfully ran his long runs at just the right pace and his hill work outs and speed work all according to plan. The goal race was Chicago. That was the year Chicago had the worst heat wave ever which made for dangerous running conditions. He ran slowly and finished – he had to use it as a training run. With marathons, you just can’t keep racing them, the timing has to be right, your legs and body have to recover. A month later, he tried Richmond. It was a perfect day - cool outside and overcast. As he ran, I tracked his times on the computer from home. Marathons take a while and I was a nervous wreck for several hours. I checked his splits, he was running strong. But sometimes you fall apart in the last half, or in the last few miles. But he kept going. Finally! 3:28:05 was his finish! Even though I wasn’t there in person, I was excited. He had his BQ time, and I knew I had to be there when he ran Boston in the spring.
To say he ran Boston; I was there; I cheered; ‘THE END’ would make for a dull story. In the meantime, I found out I had a brain tumor – an acoustic neuroma. Thankfully, these are benign but to get rid of them you either go through some serious surgery or radiation. They sever nerves – your hearing nerve (I’m deaf in my left ear), your vestibular nerve (I have some balance issues) and your facial nerve (leading to paralysis of half your face, either temporary or permanent). I survived the surgery; it was painful but my recovery went pretty well. I had a wonderful online support group called the Acoustic Neuroma Association (ANA) Forum. They answered my questions, shared their experiences, alleviated my fears, told me which eye drops to use, and so much more. They were there for me. A group of my ‘brain tumor’ (AN) friends were going to get together for a brunch in the Boston area. It was on the weekend of the Boston marathon! I could travel to Boston, go to the brunch on Sunday, see Gary run on Monday and fly home. It was a perfect plan.
Perfect in theory - Gary and I needed to stagger our travel (timing and childcare issues). He needed to be close to the race finish in a hotel, staying with his friends; I needed to be closer to the brunch location, out of the city, where there weren’t any rooms available anyway. I needed to fly into New Hampshire, rent a car, drive to my hotel in the suburbs, pick up another brain tumor friend from the ANA forum (Laura, whom I had yet to meet), travel to the brunch, drop Laura off, then head back to my hotel. Sounds like no big deal. But I had a problem. When I drive in congested areas such as big cities, I get panic attacks. And here I was, driving by myself in Boston! I had never been to Boston. I was going to drive miles and miles on roads I had never travelled. Transporting a brain tumor friend I had never met (which adds to the panic – what if I crash and she gets hurt? She was also running the Boston marathon; I didn’t want to ruin her running career)! Irrational fears, true, but if you’ve ever had panic attacks, they are very real. Plus, just two months post op, I was still feeling a little ‘wonky headed’ (a term familiar to AN patients). As my plane made its final approach to the airport, I had all kinds of fears. I prayed, “Lord, what am I DOING? I’m going to drive a couple hundred miles in an unfamiliar place. I am picking up a friend I’ve never met and taking her to a brunch to eat with people I don’t really know. For WHAT? What if I have a panic attack? What if I lose control?” My mind raced with anxiety.
In spite of myself and my fears, I did it. I can be a wimp sometimes and afraid of everything… flying, driving, meeting new people, or being in a new place. But, with God’s help, I did it. I drove. I didn’t freak out. Even in those Boston tunnels when you lose your GPS signal and you don’t know which exit to take and cars are honking. It all worked out. Meeting Laura and driving her to the ANA brunch was a great experience. She hadn’t yet had surgery, and she received support and encouragement from those she met at the brunch. It was wonderful to meet in person those who had been helped me along the way. With a room full of half deaf people, there was a lot of “What was that; I didn’t hear you!?” But we communicated, shared and bonded.
The next day, I stood near the finish line on Boylston Street. Gary and his friends were running; Laura was running. I was proud and happy. Gary went to Boston and got his medal. I went to Boston and got my courage.
Thanks for listening... Keri
And many thanks to you here on the forum and those I met at the brunch.
