Change in my temper? I began to see extreme changes in my interaction with others at about 4 months post GK. I am currently one year out, my tumor has swelled and seems to have plateaued as seen in the one year MRI. I found myself in depression at the six month time frame. As my hearing went away I became a little paranoid. Hearing in crowded rooms is impossible, I now avoid crowds. Listening to music has lost my interest, I don't here specific parts of music and so some songs are altered enough I just don't enjoy it now. I hear sounds that are extremely annoying to me while others who have normal hearing don't hear but miss parts of conversations that those same people here without issue. My wife does recognize my moodiness and has made adjustments in her interaction with me as well. I am full aware that I am short tempered and irritable over insignificant things.
Fast forward to now, I am more comfortable with my predicament than six months ago, I have retired, simplified my life and taken on a new appreciation for what I have instead of focusing on what I have lost. I choose my social calendar very carefully, I ignore what I can't understand and move on. If I am having a bad day, stay to myself no need to bother others with my grumblings. I am paying closer attention to my temper, yes my buttons are easily pushed and I am aware of it, there for I am more prepared to deal with it, preventing sudden outbursts or blowups over trivial stuff, still get caught occasionally with my pants down sort of speak.
I do believe I have settled into a better psychological frame of mind just in the past month and a half. I hope it is a sign of a return to normal, time will tell. How much of my temper, paranoia and depression were associated with GK surgery I don't know. My brother in-law is a retired Iraqi war veteran with PTSD, we spent a great week long adventure, running around his old neighborhood, chit chatting and site seeing, we discovered that physically and psychologically we have some things in common. Never considered the idea of stress induced emotional mental reactions to the sudden changes in me until his visit in beginning of September. Not to compare myself with the trauma of active duty special forces combat, my experience post GK are mild comparatively speaking.
I am aware of side effects to surgery effecting dreams from some research I did early on but never read anything about temper specifically. So as was so well put in this thread how are you going to test the theory, wouldn't wish anyone to have his head strapped to a table and blasted with gamma radiation just to see if he'll get mad or not. The actual procedure didn't phase me a bit, other than the mask making my nose itch. I guess the real question is how am I going to meet this challenge and what tools do I have to make a difference in my situation. I try to approach every day with that frame of mind and things get easier as I do. I am not saying that I have put away my grumpy pants for good and I am not saying I don't share your quick temper, but I own it and realize that which is irritating me isn't irritating everybody, makes it easier to remove myself from the situation than make everyone else deal with what is irritating me. Hope my ramblings are of use to anyone besides myself, sometimes it helps to write and reflect on a personal level as well as commiserate with like minded folks.
