I have been making myself crazy trying to figure out if I should reopen my small business, Mimi's Bakery a wholesale bakery for the 2015 season (March -November). My usual MO is to barrel-through the tough times and be a trooper, but I think I may have met my match with this recovery and I've decided not to reopen my business this year.
I am simply too dizzy, unsteady, my eye hurts, I'm easily exhausted and I have too much cognitive difficulty (recipes and techniques vaporize as I try to recall them). I honestly can't imagine working my typical 12- to 15-hour days--I can't even imagine working six hours because the work is physical and there is a lot of bending over and looking down and up which makes me very dizzy, and forget the lifting that's involved. Just making dinner requires a lot of focus not to burn myself, or just to remember to set timers, etc.
After much (too much) deliberation with myself and husband, I have decided to spend the year doing whatever I can to get better. I can travel to my medical team in Salt Lake City and get whatever vestibular therapies that will help.
I may be a Pollyanna, but I am not going to live in fear because I'm closing my bakery and won't have a way of making a living, but I'm going to remember that often difficult times have brought about some of the best turns in my life. I'm going to feel sad that I have to give up something I worked so hard to build, but I admit I've placed too much emphasis on my work-life identity and maybe it's time I get a new perspective on life.
If I get disability, that will help my stress level, but one way or another, I just have to accept that I can't do what I used to do, and I don't even have enough energy or abilities to hire and train others to take my place. I know managing employees is no simple task, and I'm just not up for any of it. "UNCLE!"
I'm going to believe that taking this year off will allow me to get better for 2016.
I knew you folks would understand.
Thank you!
