Working with general public

[feline]

I feel like I should have cards made that I can hand out to people so they know what I had and why I look like I do it's so hard to answer them when a client I have not seen in awhile says what happen to ur mouth?  I work in a veterinary hospital and it has been difficult dealing with this does anyone have any advice. Thank you
Feline

[arizonajack]

Use the classic response:

"You writin' a book? Make it a mystery."

 

[alabamajane]

On a more serious note,,Jack,,,,,,,,,

I have facial paralysis also after surgery over three up years ago.. I am "lucky" that I am retired and no longer work in public as once,,,,but when I'm out I see how people react and its hard sometimes because you know they want to ask.... If I'm asked I simply say I had a brain tumor. If they are really interested they will ask particulars,, if not ,, I leave it at that...I don't have to explain it away,,, I am what I am now..BUT I know where you are coming from that you KNOW everyone that you encounter "knows" something's "wrong" ,,,I would say,,, try to encounter others as if you are comfortable with it and don't think you have to explain it,, let them ask,, and TRY to be comfortable with your face and go forward with encounters with self esteem and acceptance of YOU as who you are now,,, it's easy for me to say now that I'm retired,,, I think I would have had a VERY hard time working with public,, as Postmaster, encountering face to face all day long ,, I admire you and KNOW you will find your way to an acceptable answer,,, BESIDES " writing a book ??"""  ( Jack!)
Just my two cents,,,  ;)Jane

[lorigasper]

Hi Feline -

I feel your pain.  I'm a public school teacher and there was quite a stir when I returned to work with my eye sewn shut and half of my face on vacation.  I will say, I just shared that I'd had a brain tumor removed that, thankfully, was benign.  I ended up with a facial nerve that was annoyed, but that I was really glad that I was able to return to the work I love.  I was hopeful that, in time, I'd have my face back to functioning more typically.  I was amazed at how short the time was before folks got used to the new me and just carried on as usual - even the parents that I don't see often.  My guess is that your patients' families will do the same....and the animals won't care at all!  Give them time and appreciate their concern.  It will become less important over time and I think you'll find that encouraging.  I wish you well.....and healing.

Lori

[NYLady]

Hello Feline,

It's truly amazing how insensitive people can be....but this is the world we live in.

I do not have facial symptoms in connection with my AN, and I can only imagine how it must make you feel.  The only thing I can say is that I think you have to find a level of comfort within yourself and face people with courage and confidence.  Coming from a more confident place, you will, at some point be able to handle the remarks made by thoughtless people.  In a group setting, you could probably tell your story and that would work, but for the one on ones it is a little more difficult.  Do you feel you really owe an explanation, or would "Why whatever do you mean...what made you ask me such a question?" work for you.  I think the uncomfortable feeling should be placed right back on the clod that asked the question.  You will find your own way that works for you.   Another layer on the complex issue of ANs and how they affect our lives. Stay strong.

Very best to you...and continued healing.

NYL

[feline]

Everyone's response has been helpful I wanted to thank you all.
Feline

[Mimispree]

Hi Feline:

I read your post when you first put it up and I've been thinking about it ever since.  I too have facial paralysis and my drooping right-side is severe.  The right side of the throat is also paralyzed which makes swallowing weird.  (On the bright-side:  Because I take much smaller bites, I eat less.  Do you think my tumor was God's way to help me diet?  Ha-ha-ha!)

Anyway, I used to work at the front desk of our local outfitter helping people with information about hiking around my area (I was very good at it).  I just found out my former employer didn't include me on this the schedule this year because he assumed I wouldn't want to work with the public with my "...face like that."  Yipes!  That took me aback a bit.  But in all honesty after reading the posts on this page, maybe answering "Brain Tumor" every time someone asked me if I had a stroke would be the pits.

My neighbors and husband have been great about it, but the general public is difficult.

I also hate feeling guilty or vain if I get bummed-out about my facial paralysis.  I know it's primarily a "cosmetic" issue, but that doesn't quite explain it fully, does it? 

Thank you for your post.

Michelle

[LakeErie]

Mimi...
This is off the topic of the thread, but I have not encountered many swallowing complications on the site. I have followed your posts but somehow missed this part of your recovery.
I too had paralysis and the paresis on the AN side of my throat. So you know, I did improve, though slowly. It took me better than a year to get more normal. I am not exactly as I was pre-surgery, but do swallow much better now, but have to be careful. I am so accustomed to it that I am not really aware of it anymore

Feline, am sorry to hear of your difficulty. At an area ANA support group - N E Ohio - there was a guest speaker from the Cleveland Clinic who was a plastic surgeon. He has developed an out patient procedure that restores facial symmetry improving appearance. This doctor was first in his college class, first in his med school class, and has the highest score ever earned on the plastics board exam. The procedure does not restore movement to the muscles of the face, but does restore features. Maybe you can research this option in case time does not restore your facial movement. If it any consolation, I had different nerve complications and it took 16 months to see anything close to the return of normal function. Good luck.