My date was set. I had time to research and process almost everything about my upcoming brain surgery. The only thing I couldn’t find much on was how I was going to feel after the operation. To me, it was the great unknown. I understand that every patient, tumour, and surgery is different so it is difficult to explain what to expect. Me? I am an active, moderately fit and petite Mom (age 48) of 3 school-aged kids. My tumour was large - 3 x 4 cm, surgery performed was retro-sigmoid. Yes, I was freaked out and scared, but I was in the frame of mind where I would be strong and conquer this dang thing. The last thing I remember was bravely lying down in a very bright, busy, and cold operating room with quiet tears in my eyes.
I woke up to loud voices insisting I wake-up. I opened my eyes and the whole room collapsed. Everything around me spun and crashed. Eyes closed, I felt every muscle and bone in my upper torso was in excruciating pain. I knew after 12 hours strapped on an operating table in a tight head clamp was not going to be pleasant, but holy cow (!) I felt beat up! It was like I was spit out of a laundry machine after a full spin cycle…. while on a tiny fishing boat tossed about on stormy high seas… then hit by a truck! Nurses were asking me my name, date, and location (this continued everyday x4) . For days I was super weak and seriously nauseous - lots of gagging and violent dry-heaving. I remember just being slumped there in bed being SO miserably uncomfortable and sick, but no strength to shift or change position. My head felt incredibly heavy - like half of it was filled with cement. It was also strange (not necessarily painful, but disconcerting) resting my head on my stitches behind my ear. Anyways, I was a wretched dizzy aching mess. The first 48 hours were the absolute worst! Facial nerves? They briefly seemed fine at first, then I guess the swelling began and I started to freeze. Couldn’t blink (needed repeated eye drops and tape) and couldn’t smile or blow-up both cheeks. I looked scary and snarly. I also remember waking up one day thinking I fell off the bed as the whole room was flipped 45 degrees to the left and I was sideways on the bed and the floor was the hospital curtain. Weird! On day 3, my catheter was removed which meant I had to muster the strength to get up to go to the washroom. Basically, the only thing I consumed was ice-chips. Day 4 - IV removed, some food/drink intake, a shower (assisted), and a follow-up MRI. Add in the short (and reluctant) hallway walks = exhausting. All the while, amongst the fatigue and vertigo, the hospital is a very busy, interruptive and noisy place, so by late day 5 I was anxious to go home. Surgeon came by and surprised me with release forms. The drive home was with eyes closed and wincing at every bump and turn. The next few weeks were basically slothed in the TV room. My appetite (lots of fruit and fibre) was good, but I was a pretty useless, weak, and sleepy couch potato. I also remember a persistent and awful after-taste in the mouth (medication?). Slowly, maybe around week 3, I would move around the house more. In the mirror I saw a monster zombie with a distorted droopy face and psycho eye. Even after 4/5 weeks my poor head still felt heavy, numb and tingly, but I was getting out of the house more often. At 6 weeks I noticed an improvement on my energy and balance. My eye is still dry (a little lazy) and my smile is not symmetrical, but I am slowly thawing out and seeing the old me! That is my experience and I am SO glad it's over and everything worked out! I also hugely appreciate that I did not have any headaches or tinnitus or other complications. My husband is still doing all the driving, but I’d very soon like to get back into the swing of things on my own. Next up in the near horizon: a Hawaii vacation!!! Hope this helps a little for some. Strength and courage to you all.
