I wish you the best in find the best hearing aid for you, ANviolist! It seems to me to be more challenging than it should be. It seems like certain audiologists only carry certain brands that they favor (and maybe push). I remember asking an audiologist about a certain brand I was considering, and she said, "I'm sorry but we only carry the two brands we think are best." I have since learned that different brands and certain options are best depending upon the patient's needs and concerns. So, I would not recommend the ones that are working for me because they might not work best for you and your needs.
Most of the major brands that have apps which let you adjust the eq and gain level to your liking. However, much of the adjustments should be made by the audiologist so that it does not sound like gibberish to you. It may be that the Eargo is not the best option for you (or that it was not adjusted properly). I wish I could give you an easy answer, but my experience has been the most important factor is the experience of the audiologist and a wide option of brands so that the audiologist can find one that best meets your needs.
Best wishes on your journey!
Don