JUST NEED TO VENT

[nancyann]

Hi everyone,

Don't know what's wrong with me the past 2 days.  I'm trying to get over this feeling, but I'm feeling so sad.  I'm at work & just burst into tears.   I hate when this happens.   I'll be doing great for awhile, then BAM, the blues set in.
I feel like a fool getting upset, I have so many good things to be thankful for.
Does this sudden 'emotional upheavel' happen to others??    Is it hormones ??

Thanks guys, just needed to vent.    Hope I didn't take the wind out of anyone else's sails this morning.    Nancy

[mylump]

Hi Nancy,
No, you're not alone in that blues feeling at all! I had lots of episodes in the early post-FSR days, and I ahd CK. Actually, somebody put it down to Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, which I can quite believe. We all went through soem pretty heavy and severe ops, so ya, I think we can feel sad and get the blues. I would imagine it's quite normal in fact. It does pass with time, and that the thing, give yurself time to heal. Recovery takes time and lots of care. Mind yourself, take it easy if you can, slow down, rest.

Vent away, that's what we're here for, right? 

Lorenzo

[nancyann]

Thanks Lorenzo:   I'm almost 6 months post op;  I think 'when will this feeling end?' 
At least the sad times are fewer & fewer.
Thanks again,  Nancy

[mylump]

Hi Nancy, hard to say, we're all so different... Mine lasted for about 8-10 months, with bigger and bigger intervals. The best part of it? One morning I woke up and literally found myself thinking 'I feel great! I have my energy back!! This is weird!!!' It felt great. Blues had gone too.

By the way, I have a blog that I may not have mentioned here before, where I wrote about my experience from start to now. www.mylump.org  Some of it might be out of date, like the links, but the story in iteslf is valid. I did explain about my blues period in there. Might be a bit long to read it all though 

Ciao, Lorenzo

[Pembo]

I had those times too, my worst was at about 9 months post-op and I've read of others who had it rough about that same time. After that, things seem to brighten. Hang in there..........

[nancyann]

thanks Pembo:

Believe it or not I was relieved to see people still feel this way 9 months out.    Okay, gives me a time frame anyway.
I have to remeber to allow myself to get 'down in the dumps' sometimes, it's okay (funny, I can tell other people it's okay, but not myself).
Lorenzo:  Thanks again - I looked quick at your site, will go back after work to read more.

Nancy

[mylump]

Nancy,
You're welcome. Hang in there, things will get better!
Ciao, Lorenzo

[nancyann]

Thanks guys,


The blues are starting to pass (like the clouds in the sky.......)   Nancy

[mylump]

Glad to hear it! 
Lorenzo

[matti]

Hi Nancyann - I can relate to how you are feeling. First year during my recovery I would get bouts of sudden saddness. I started to see a therapist who told me what I was feeling was normal after what my body/mind had been through. Lorenzo is right, I can liken it to post tramatic stress syndrome. The good news is that it does lessen over time. There are some days still, although infrequent, that I feel a little sad, sometimes I miss my old self

I am finding lately that my anxoius feelings are related to hormones and the holidays (a not so lovely combination LOL)

hang in there.
cheryl

[ppearl214]

Hey Nancy,

everyone here is right!

so... VENT, get pissed, feel however you want to feel... if the hormones are running amock, heck.. let them... if it's the time of year and the pressures that go with it, well, dang it... vent!

One MAJOR thing I have learned with all of my ailments (beyond my AN) and in life in general... no one... not one person, can deny me my feelings and my rights to them.  Some days are good... some are not-so-good and dang it.. if I want to vent, i do it!  I give you my good ears to vent and know that I send MAJOR huggles to you (and yes, everyone here!) to help you along.

So, Nancy... hang in there...let's pour a mug o' grog, let's kick back, relax, prop our feet up and just realize that it's good to be alive!

xoxoxoxo
Phyl, your cursed, cruise director!

[Dealy]

I will reply to this post too today because I can identify with this so much. The first time when I had surgery-17 years ago I was such a tough guy that nothing could knock me down. This did-(meaning surgery) I would even get anxiety attacks for no reason. After about a year it all went away. Now my 2nd time around I could not spent time with our family as usual for Thanksgiving and my wife's sister insists that we not miss their xmas eve dinner. They just do not realize that some days you just do not feel like it. It's like-come on and get better already. Sometime my only consolation is sleep-at least I feel normal then. We all need to be human and vent-especially on this site where people DO UNDERSTAND. Thanks for letting me vent also. Ron

[mylump]

Venting is good! Three cheers for The Vent Club!

Just as long as people are prepared to admit it and talk about it. I found that I couldn't talk about my AN in general to friends and family, never mind the emotional side of things. 'Wah' y'a mean, you look normal!' Sounds familiar? Message boards are great for venting, we all know and listen and understand. Feel free, you all have my good ear! Just wish I had found this place sooner, although I did get great support from the message board of ANAC (Canadian AN).

Ciao a tutti, Lorenzo

[nancyann]

Hi again,

What does bother me alot (& I wish it didn't) is that I DON'T look normal, the facial paralysis thing is the worst,  the dry mouth, no taste AN side, right eye that still needs lubricant a few times a day (at least that's better now - I use to put lubricant in at least 8-10 times/day), balance issues....  UUUGGGGHHHHH !

OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT - the pity party of one again.....
Where's my blue sky ?

[mylump]

You know, there were times I wished I DIDN'T look normal! At least I could have escaped the incredulous stares of colleagues and friends, the sneaky remarques, the rolling of eyes and the colleagues that just ignored it all. I know, makes me sound like an idiot. I didn't have facial palsy or any of the visible effects. I'm glad I didn't, don't get me wrong. It's just, trying to convince somebody that you have something serious while looking like you always did, well, it's not easy to do, and it's not easy to take.

I went on sick leave recently for a few weeks due to noise exposure at work. I got some real smirks when I got back. Even two years later, it still goes on.

Taste thingN Ancy, it'll pass. It did for me. Balance, well the brain adjust for that with time.

Blue sky? Just there, over your head I hope, and probably right inside you too.

Ciao

Lorenzo