JUST NEED TO VENT

[nancyann]

If someone rolled their eyes at me there'd be hell to pay, & then some !!!!

Noise really bothers me too, especially when I 'have' to go to a large meeting (waste of time), & everyone's talking at once, can't handle restaurants anymore either.

  Sometimes (like this morning), I felt like the light in me is going out, feel almost dead (tired).


I love that you wrote, Lorenzo, "Blue sky?..just look over your head.... & probably right inside you"

I know it will get better, I wasn't blessed with patience as a kid, am learning it as I go (& not too well I might add !!)   
 
Nancy (Anunziata)

[mylump]

Do I detect a fellow italian?? Anunziata? Sure sounds like it! 
Ya, eye rolling gets the same response from me, in a verbal way. I tend to have a sharp tongue when needed.
By the way, one of the first things I did (and I was lucky I could) was to pull out of any kind of meetings for the first four months! Pointless and rather debilitating. First few I came out of I was thinking 'I'm loosing it, that's it. I have NO idea what went on in there, nor what language they spoke. (I know, sounds like a normal meeting and does not constitute a grave AN symptom per se). Nevertheless, when nothing registers and one feels lost at the simplest meeting, it's not a good sign.
Restaurants I haven't't given up yet. Love them too much. I just take a great pair of ear plugs and enjoy the food in silence!
Keep going, it'll get brighter.
Ciao
Lorenzo

[nancyann]

Yes, fortunately, Italian

Unfortunately, I've noticed there are quite a few of us of Italian decent with AN's  (thing that make you go hmmmmmm).

Sharp tongue ?  I'm a displaced New Yorker living in South Florida, I had to learn to CONTROL that sharp tongue when I moved down here (16 years & counting), sharp tongue, honest response ?  no difference in the South.

Okay, on to happier days.,  Nancy

[mylump]

you know the weirdest? i'm a graphic designer and i know of six others that also have ANs, two of them personal friends of mine here within this country (Ireland). Interestingly I'm the only italian in that bunch. Now THAT is a serious 'Hemmmmm' moment!
So South Florida must be like here (except you get sunshine, we get rain), control of the sharpness is required. As years go on, I tend to lose such control more and more, 22 years and counting too. Heck, we have THE excuse for letting it rip!
A presto, Lorenzo

[matti]

Nancyann - Best thing I did to lessen background noise in restaurants or other noisy environments as well as tone down the volume was to have a musicians ear plug made for me. It costs about $70.00 dollars and needs to be purchased from an audiologist. An impession is taken of the ear, so it is specifically desiged for you. You can purchase different filter sizes depending on what db level you want to reduce. I used to use the store bought foam plugs, but they distort sound, this plug does not. I attend alot of rock concerts (49 and never too old to rock) and this little plug has been a lifesaver.

Ciao to my fellow Italians!  Listening to Dean Martin on my computer right now

Cheryl

[mylump]

wow, didn't know those existed! shall ask about them here and see what come sout of them.
Listening to Dalla right now, Pino Daniele later.
a presto, Lorenzo

[Jim Scott]

Although I haven't experienced depression, anxiety or just about any of the issues mentioned on this thread, I do sympathize with those who have.  I can readily understand why any AN patient might have these issues, even when their surgical or radiation outcome is successful.  As for 'looking normal' and thus having friends, family or co-workers question why you shouldn't be 'normal', that is mostly based on their ignorance and I'm afraid there is little you can do about it, except forgive them.   I would never question how anyone else responds to a serious, life-threatening tumor and it's subsequent removal.  That's absurd.

Supported by a loving wife and good friends, I consider myself blessed to have had an excellent surgical outcome and few real post-op difficulties, but I realize that we are individuals and cannot put restrictions on how others respond to this often life-changing medical crises we have all been confronted with, whether we're male or female, young or not-so-young, Americans, Europeans or some other nationality.  AN is no respecter of persons.  While there are myriad ways to approach this thing, the fact that some AN patients suffer from depression and anxiety, pre and post-op is hardly surprising.   I only wish we could all avoid it.

nancyann: I trust that you are feeling better by now and will remain optimistic and confident as time rolls on.     I hope this thread has helped a bit.


Jim[/color] 

 

[nancyann]

Hi guys:

Hey Cheryl, I've got a musicians plug !!!!!!     I didn't know I could use it in restaurants,
I knew for concerts, etc.,  ( so why not restaurants & meetings...  the possibilities !!!! ).

I got one because I play piano (amateur) & was told you have to protect the good ear.

Thanks Jim, you have a way of putting things in perspective, helped me out before on posts.

Okay, I'm better.     Thanks everyone, Nancy

Gotta keep an eye on those blue skies...

[tcrnko]

Depression is a pain in the rear.  It tends to sneak up on you at all of the wrong times.  Mine comes when my mind is not occupied with other more pressing things, like when I am driving.  With the season being what it is and my surgery scheduled just after the new year, the fear of not seeing another holiday brings me to tears.  (Just my unfounded anxiety?)

I'm still pre-op.  But is have been fighting this for several months when I never had it before.  (I noticed the depresive episodes before my diagnosis)

Being able to vent to people that have been through similar situations is a help.

[Jeanlea]

Hi Nancy,

I have times of feeling blue also.  I was thinking maybe it's because I haven't been able to truly smile for over a year now.  Living with facial palsey can be challenging.  Sometimes I get so frustrated because I can't blink my eye or smile or feel anything that touches my face.  Reading these posts today helps.  There are times that I need to be reminded of all of the good things around me.  I'm finding that the times of feeling blue come and go and the times between the blue times does get longer and longer as time goes on.  I'm happy that we have this group so we can come and vent.

Jean

[Patti UT]

Sorry nancy for the blues your feeling.  I.m 2 yrs post op,  still get waves of the stuff. Kudos to everything that was posted here about this topic.  Yes, three cheers for the Venting club. Like Ron said, were the only ones who "get it"

patti Ut

[mylump]

even amongst ANers, there seems to be very little talk about emotional issues. Glad to see it here. Indeed, three cheers for the Venting Club!

[nancyann]

Hi there guys:  Thanks so much for all your support.  I thank you, my 'droop' thanks you !!

Jean:  do you have total one sided facial paralysis like me ( sounds like it ), or have you gotten some movement back ?
         Do you plan on having the hypoglossal anastamosis if you don't have movement ?  Other surgery for facial reanimation ?  Just curious. 
         I plan on having the hypoglossal if no improvement on the EMG in Jan.

Nancy

[matti]

Nancy - I hope you are feeling better today

cheryl

[nancyann]

Hi Cheryl:
Yes doll baby, feeling much better today;   in fact, felt so good this am, that I ran (figure of speech lol) over to neuro dept. since I hadn't heard from my doc's office re: EMG x2 days !!!   My neurologist is backed up till May, & I need the EMG at least 1st week or 2nd week in Jan., so I went right to the office.   They will talk to the dr., only he can 'add' me in.  (the morons just ignored my telephone messages because I need it in Jan., & they'll only give appt. for May on,  geez louise, so just 'ignore it ?  NO WAY JOSE ).

So, how's your day going ?     Thanks for all your support, Nancy.