NancyDrew,
It's OK to cry, that's how our body releases stress and the chemicals that build up in our systems. Did you ever notice that you felt a lot better after crying. I may not sound too manly here..but, I had my share of tears at the beginning...and I'm not too proud to say so.
Research and then make an educated decision on how your going to handle it. Research about AN's, the three basic ways to handle them: 1) "Watch & Wait" 2) Radiation, 3) Surgery
Be aware that although your family and friends will try they might have a hard time trying to understand...we've been there. The tinnitus, the strange sounds (clicks, pops, creaks, hiss), the full ear fealing, the hearing loss...etc...are not new to us.
You'll be OK...here's a thought for the day: “ When we walk in difficult places, God sends the strength and nourishment to face what comes our way, not all at once, but day by day “
Hang in there...
Gary