ANA Forum Humour Hall of Fame!

[ppearl214]

As to not hijack another thread, Sefra's GK headframe *coff* experience certainly has brought many a laugh:

http://anausa.org/forum/index.php?topic=3227.msg34944#msg34944

so, what AN humourous stories do you have to share?  Any worthy of the ANA Forum Hall of shame...er... Fame?

[tony]

OK I will chip in my 2cs worth:
Long standing joke - "I am not afraid of any surgery or surgeon"
But will go deadly serious about being terrified of any silver instrument
(ie, I maybe a vampire, or a werewoolf, or similar)
So during any pre-surgery consultation
I always warn of DARK consequences of using such an implement....
- usually to the s******s from the doc or nurse filling out the form
I did this a week ago - But the nurse didnt "get it"- and wrote it down
At this mornings "pre-OP" the nurse announced, with some authority,
"So your allergic to silver then ?"
"Thats what its got written here... anyway"
(I made a lunge for the exposed neck
- but in a flash she produced a cruifix - I was done for..)
You know these meds are better than I thought
Yours
Count Alucard....

[ppearl214]

Dear Count Tony,

I so want what you have... enjoy the "ride"

Cute story!

*tucks away silver*

Phyl

[pearchica]

Yeah Phyl! This by far will be my favorite new thread! Thank you fearless leader!  Annie

[ppearl214]

thanks annie   Just doing my job as cruise director around here!

Ok, here's one....

April 7 2006.  Good Friday and my last day of CK treatment.  So, I bring in this HUGE Easter basket to the CK treatment team (Tom, Shelley and the gang...) FILLED with every bit of candy/sugar you can think of.... Chicken Marshmellow Peeps, Solid Chocolate Easter Bunnies, etc... handed the basket to Tom prior to treatment .... and reminded him NOT to let anyone eat any of the basket during my treatment. I didn't want them on a sugar-overload and just pressing any button they wanted... (ie: "hey, let's try this one on Phyl... she's strong... let's see what happens! ).... but, I think they did... we saw necrosis starting at 8 mos post treatment... 

Phyl

[Sue]

Well shoot, wish I had something funny to share about my AN experience.  I'll tell you a quick story, tho about my girlfriend's little granddaughter.  I thought this was worthy of Reader's Digest, myself.

My friend's ex-husband's mother died, and her daughter wanted to do something in honor of her grandmother as there wasn't any service for her. So my friends daughter and her little girls and my friend (so mom, daughter and granddaughters - are ya with me?) went to The Grotto in Portland.  They aren't Catholic, but it's a nice place to visit and I guess they thought that would be a nice place to go (they have beautiful grounds to visit) and so they went in and lit a candle for the dearly departed.  It was nice and quiet and and daughter lit the candle and then the 3 year old sang, "Happy Birthday to You!"  My friend told me this and I thought I would hurt myself laughing so hard.  Ahhh, kids say the darndest things.

Sue in Vancouver USA

[Lorenzo]

Geat one Sue!  I'm still laughing!!!! 

I went into a café shortly after my diagnosis, and the guy serving the coffee asked me: 'one lump or two?' meaning, lumps of sugar of course!  I couldn't drink the coffee, i was laughing too much! 

And another one: 'Three ears are better than one' said to a doctor to explain why my partner was with me during a consultation.

'The surgical team is really on the ball', somebody said that to me to make me feel better

'Lumpsum', from my accountant

Oh and another one: not sure if you're familiar with a british comedian Spike Milligan, but the epitaph on his gravestone reads: 'See? I told you a was sick!'

Ciao, Lorenzo

[Jeff]

Three years ago I had surgery at House. Unfortunately, I had a CSF leak and got to spend another 6 days in the hospital. It became my routine to ask for a sleeping pill when I was ready to go to sleep for the night. One night, I used my call button to call the nurse about something else. She came in, took care of me, and on her way out closed the door to my room. Unfortunately, she reset my call button incorrectly, rendering it useless. So, I spent a little while yelling, but because my door was closed, nobody heard me. I decided to try to go to sleep. After 2 hours of trying to sleep, I just couldn't get to sleep. Finally, the "lightbulb came on." I picked up the phone and called the front desk of the hospital, asked them to connect me to the 6th floor nurses station, and then asked my nurse to come speak with me. Needless to say, she was a bit apologetic when she came in. I got my medicine and went to sleep.

Later that night, I had a very vivid dream. I had to escape from those annoying things that they put on your legs to keep your circulation moving properly. Also, I had to get my head bandage off. When I woke up, my head bandage was shredded and the leg things were around my ankles. The same nurse came in an taped all of the loose edges of the bandage to around my head. I put the leggings back on. When the doctor came in to see me, he took one look and laughed. I really had tried to escape!


Jeff

[marystro]

I GOT ONE!!  I GOT ONE!! *waving my hand frantically*

So, my best friend (husband was rendered useless in crisis ) went with me to the first consultation at Stanford.  When we went into the tiny, tiny (really really small) consultation room, afer Dr. Chang (neurosurgeon) delivered his amazing recollection of all the statistics about hearing preservation speech, etc.  Dr. Soltys (radiation oncologist) came in followed by 4 very, very young looking white coated teenagers (I think those were the interns).  They all have clip boards in their arms, pens ready and poised to write every breath and word down.  Serious professional looks on all their faces... hmmmmm..  Now the room was really crowded (me, my friend, Dr Soltys, 4 interns, Dr. Chang's nurse, Dr. Chang).  8 people in a room of probably 10' x 10'.  Dr. Chang had to leave.

So when Dr. Soltys asked me to stand up, arms out, close my eyes and take some steps (small steps since the room was very crowded), I winked at my friend before I closed my eyes.  Then I started waving side way and back and forth a little.  Oh! Boy!  You should have seen the fast actions from all the teenagers (had my eyes opened a slit  ), dropping their clipboards and jumping to my rescue.  My friend and I never laughed so much since I found out about my AN!!!  Trick'em  !!!

Needless to say, I was marked down as the most mischievous patient in their notebooks - diagnosis: "something got into her head!!"

*seriously - everything is true except the diagnosis part but wait a minute - that's true too!! *

Mary

[Lorenzo]

Good one Mary! 

When they asked me to walk one foot in front of other with the eyes closed, I did, and did it again backwards, and then did the jig too, just to let them see that my balance was ok!  LOL  We all, Dr Chang and Dr Hancock and nurse, had a laugh! Ah yes, fond memories... Those rooms are TINY! I wonder hwo you all fit in there!!

LOL  Lorenzo

[pearchica]

Totally the rooms are tiny compared to the cyber room, the reception room... etc... I remember asking one of the interns- how old are you? Heck, I would have been their babysitter, Dr. Soltys included!  And yeah, the balance test- how many times??? They did comment I had pretty good balance for wearing 2 inch boots! (But then I always dressed for my appointments, man I want to look like a million bucks so you will treat me like a million bucks- stupid really but that's how I got through it)...Annie

Lorenzo: love your Lump dialogue- my only funny story is that my older brother whose nickname is Lumpy (after Leave it to Beaver Fame) started to call me tumorhead... take care all- Annie

[kristin]

ok...my story is not quite as funny as a lot of yours and i kinda feel like the outsider here..ya'll went to stanford! but here goes..

when i was dx'd in dec 04 w/ my 8mm AN, i told my then 5 yr old that i had a tumor the about the size of a tic-tac in my brain and i needed to have surgery to get it out. well, the next day her daycare lady told me that sydney had told all her 5 yr old friends that her mom had a tic-tac in her brain. i explained to my daughter that it wasn't actually a tic-tac, but a tumor the SIZE of a tic-tac. when i dropped her off at daycare the next day, she walked in and spread her arms out really big and said "it's OK everybody, my mom doesn't have a tic-tac in her brain...it's ONLY a tumor!"

what a kid! ONLY a tumor.. i wish i had her attitude!

kristin

[Lorenzo]

   good one. kids... mind you, tic tac would have been much worse! all those minty vapours in your head...

[Jill Marie]

Hi all,

I learned early on that laughter was the best way to get through rough times, once you looked at the situation clearly and did all you could, that is.  My MOM found out she had Rheumatoid Arthritis when I was only 5 so I grew up dealing with illness and my MOM's incredible ability to find humor in almost any situation despite her constant pain. So, when the doctor called and told me I needed surgery for a AN and that I should call the ear specialist in Seattle and schedule the appointment as soon as possible I told him that any day but Wednesday would be fine with me, he inguired as to why Wednesday wouldn't work, I told him that I figured the doctor would be golfing that day!  He then told me that he didn't find that funny as having surgery for an AN was a very serious matter, I told him that I knew it was and that's why I tried to make light of it 

The day before my Facial Nerve Surgery (AN turned Facial Neuroma) the doctor told me he would need to remove a very small amount of fat from my stomach to fill the hole in my neck where he would take a part of a nerve to replace the damaged facial nerve.  I told him to please take all the fat he wanted & more as I had plenty to spare!

When the anesthesiologist was ready to put me under he asked if I had any last request before he put me to sleep, I said yes.  Please keep me under for 6 months as that was when they said I would start to regain control of the left side of my face again.  I was joking of course, hopefully he knew that! 

Guess you had to be there!     

[Lorenzo]

no need to be there, I can just imagine the exchanges!    good laugh, thanks!  One regret about CK, they don't need to remove fat! Darn.