Well, this forum is called "Post Treatment", with a sub-note that Post treatment comments can be posted here... so, since I'm a "postie", I thought I'd put this here in hopes of sharing with others, especially newbies here, on how my first year, post CK has gone....
...and boy has it gone....
One year ago, I was on the phones with Mark and Captn' Deb and so many other wonderful folks here, trying to supress my anxiety of heading into CK treatment on Monday, April 3, 2006. I had no qualms about what I was doing... it was the typical "fear of the unknown". I had seen the CK machine the week before treatment so I had a sense of what the treatment room, the robotics, the "control room" all looked like. I had my mesh mask made, had my MRI/CT scans done... now it was just time to blow this booger away.
I walked in, during Easter Week, with my Chipmunks Christmas CD, as well as my guilty pleasures of Yanni.... as well as U2, Elton John and gawd, I forget the last one. The CK team, as a joke back to me, during the very last treatment, the very last song, put on Frank Sinatra's "I did it my way..."... boy, were they on the money!
I learned in the months post treatment, not to jump at every little twinge I had. Some were AN related... some were CK related... and some... weren't related at all. I learned a true sense of "calm" in my decision and to this day, 1 year later, feel so at peace for what I chose and know I did what was best for me. I've learned to help put my family and friends at ease, knowing that my sister was lost due to a malignant brain tumor and I would not cave into this booger... that this booger wasn't going to get the best of me. I have learned that the intial anxiety prior to my treatment and since was real, that I have been certainly entitled to it and that it still does rear its fugly head on occassion, but I am stronger than that. I will not let anxiety get the best of me.
I have learned what wonderful friends and family I have....and that my AN family holds such a dear place in my heart and soul. I have learned that I have strength and energy to give back, to those just starting this journey who may feel lost or anxious or numb in knowing what they now endure.
I have learned I am blessed in knowing the booger is now showing signs of death.... that my hearing remains intact and all potential side affects are gone (or just about).
I have learned how very lucky I am that this journey has given me a chance to really sit back and determine that if it were not for this AN journey, I would not have found the inner peace that I have... and yes, I do have it... knowing I can conquer anything that comes my way. If I can beat my AN, I can beat all else that ails me and anything that is thrown at me... in my daily life, in health, in spirit.
I share this with you all now in hopes that newbies here will see that life certainly does go on with AN's... and post treatment. I share this with you to give you my yearly update on how I am doing... and to share with you all that I am so so very blessed to have you all in my family.....
I know.... kinda mushy for me.... but hey, I had chocolate in celebration and I'm feeling good!
Continued wellness to you all... for those of you new to the AN journey...know you, too, will conquer... and to the "old timers" (don't hit me for that!) here that have been beside me through thick and thin.... well.... as my Japanese counterparts say... "domo arigato gozaimasu, tomadachis"*
With appreciations, gratitude.. and love,
Phyl
*translation: thank you very much, friends
