Scott:
Excellent observations.
While I've had a somewhat better than average recovery from my AN surgery/radiation and I'm a bit older than many of the posters here and should presumably know better, I still complain about mundane things, as you do. Following successful AN surgery, I certainly do value my health and being alive, as, just about a year ago, a pre-op CT scan detected a 'mass' on my liver that all the doctors thought was cancer (but wouldn't say so) until a next-day biopsy proved it to be a hematoma. No further treatment was deemed necessary and my AN surgery, immediately cancelled once the 'liver mass' was discovered, was promptly rescheduled for a week later.
Like you, I inwardly vowed to never complain again if I could just get through the AN surgery 'intact' and finish the FSR treatments with no complications. I did. Oh, I still have a few 'numb' spots on my tongue and mouth (they come and go in intensity), the left side of my face isn't
quite as sensitive as the right (very minor difference) and my left eye itches when I'm very tired (not too often). My walk is good but not yet 'perfect' and walking backwards is still a challenge (but I can do it if I really try). However, I accept these small annoyances as a part of the AN 'experience' and I'm grateful that's
all I have to contend with. Still, like everyone else on the planet, I'm a fallible human being and heavy traffic, clueless 'customer service' representatives and other negative aspects of daily life sometimes cause me to complain and grumble...even to vocally rant, on a rare occasion.
I don't believe that we can really do much about this human weakness except attempt to tamp it down and, for a rational balance, force ourselves to recognize the good things we have as well as the bad. Of course we'll complain about the rising price of gas. Why shouldn't we? However, I'm thankful that I even have a car, can drive it and can afford to pay the higher gas prices...even as I grumble about them. This is balance. A reasonable complaint but a recognition of something positive, right along with it. Obvioulsly,
people, mainly the ones we love, are more important to us than money , a job or anything else. Your expressed love for your new daughter made that clear, if it wasn't already. It's a cliché, granted, but it's still true that, in their final hours on earth, no one will regret that they didn't spend more time at the office.
I'm sorry to read of your AN tumor now needing radiation but you certainly have the right attitude toward this turn of events. I'm sure you'll do fine, Scott. Keep up that positive outlook born of realism. It serves you well and is a lesson to all of us.
Jim
