A place to vent

[Brendalu]

Phyl,

I am so sorry you are having more health problems..........you do too much for too many people to have more problems.  You need more,  Thank you's and more, " YEAH!YEAH !YOU ARE GREAT!!!  You need to hear that you are much loved and much thanked by mean a hundreds of other folks.  I couldn't have made it through a lot of really rough spots without your support and kind words and huggles.  I'm sending them right back at you.  Plus a big Thank you for all that you do.

Much love and big huggles,
Brendalu

[Mary 117]

Phyl, I think you're great. Your posts and guidance are so helpful. I just learned about Chiari malformation. I live in Billings and the TV show "extreme home makeover", built a house here for a woman who has Chiari malformation along with all her daughters. It was a moving episode and after learning about that illness, I can't possible imagine what you go through everyday. Don't let the inconsiderate people get you down, they aren't worth your time, which is so precious.

Thanks for taking the time to care.
Mary
2cm AN, Middle Fossa, HEI Dr. Brackmann, 05/24/05

[debora]

Thanks Margaret I appreciate your prayers.  Take care,  Deb

[Desilu]

Hi Phyl,

I think it all starts at home. How people were raised. We were always taught to say "please and thank you" it is obvious that some parents did not teach their children right! I always get compliments about my son. People always tell me what a kind, pleasant and courteous young man he is. I guess if I have done anything right in my life, I would say that my son is well mannered! Hang in there, tomorrow is a new day!   Ann

[4cm in Pacific Northwest]

Phyl,

Reading your venting from last night…

Probably the most thankless volunteer job I ever undertook was that of a city “commissionerâ€?. Many  were primarily there as they had a "self-interest" and there was much cronyism taking place. At least your town has a commission to actually address accessibility (or lack there of) of people with disabilities in your town. When I came home from surgery I was 'temporary' disabled (SSD  ok ok is permanent) and got a handicapped parking permit … I had to deal with a walker, handicapped parking (or lack of) for my caregiver to park her car in, heavy doors that have no automation and I was instructed not to push or lift over 5 lbs due to CSF leaks post surgery. I had this fleeting  moment that I should contact “the mayorâ€? and suggest a “Commission on Disability Issuesâ€? (gasp) then I remembered how thankless the job was in the last commission I served on… and I decided against it. Boards and commissions are always full of politics. I have decided to not “shop localâ€? anymore and head to a city that has good civic planning for people with disabilities to do my consumerism and shopping for provisions. (This is what capitalism is about – let the customer feedback and demand drive the market here… LOL.) Ironically, this is the town closet to me, that I was a commissioner for, has more people in assisted living facilities (mainly seniors) per capita than any other place in Oregon State. No one wants to shop here and they take their dollars elsewhere. (Businesses that are not accessible to people with disabilities are shooting themselves in the foot as the baby boomers age  - I say!) I doubt very little here will change until the mayor (and his counselors) himself becomes disabled and tries to get-a-round town. Maybe then the issues may resolve. My hero mayor is this man back in Canada.

The Sam Sulliven story – in brief
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Sullivan

His official mayor bio
http://www.city.vancouver.bc.ca/ctyclerk/councillors/sullivan/#bio
He would give our town a big fat “F� for accessibility. Perhaps I should write to him and suggest he rub off on our mayor… here in the USA.

Remember boards and commissions will always have politics and self-fulfilling people there- (always have an always will). I suggest you head to the local library and take out this children’s book

(I am not promoting Amazon.com – it is just they allow you to view the cover of a book and a sample pages in between)

Aunt Chip and the Great Triple Creek Dam Affair by Patricia Polacco
http://www.amazon.com/Aunt-Great-Triple-Creek-Affair/dp/0399229434

She an artist and writer with a disability (dyslexia) who also created this book
Thank You, Mr. Falker
http://www.amazon.com/Thank-You-Falker-Patricia-Polacco/dp/0399231668

Marvel in the fact that the future generation of voters (i.e. those polite, grateful, courteous little trick-or-treaters you enjoyed last night) will be the upcoming voters… and they are being read to (by parents and volunteers) these sorts of books mentioned above.

  “Thank you Phyl!â€? [/size]
 I have read what your post and you are appreciated. Read back a few of your old posts – you will see that you are liked and appreciated. Dwell on the positive… not the negative.

Is your cup half full or half empty?

The co –worker that left you (and customers) in a state of confusion is now your EX- coworker (i.e. you don’t have to deal with that person again)

The co-worker that has extreme health issues is still with you  … and says these great mantra’s
“Loving heart.... clear mind.... healthy body... peaceful soul.... blessings one and all�

You got to “keep moving forward�. Know that your efforts are appreciated – just not always expressed by others.

Here is a big ole Mother Canadian Bear Hug coming to you all the way from Oregon State.

Speaking of bears and bear-hugs…I suggest these other great kids’ books … given your feelings and the time of year…

The Berenstain Bears and Count your Blessings
http://www.amazon.com/Berenstain-Bears-Count-Their-Blessings/dp/067987707X

The Berenstain Bears Forget Their Manners
http://www.amazon.com/Berenstain-Bears-Forget-Their-Manners/dp/0394873335/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/104-6575588-4925539?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1193929028&sr=1-2

The Berenstain Bears and the Prize Pumpkin
http://www.amazon.com/Berenstain-Bears-Prize-Pumpkin-First/dp/0679908471/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-6575588-4925539?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1193929102&sr=1-1

The Berenstain Bears and Too much Pressure
http://www.amazon.com/Berenstain-Bears-Pressure-Fi
rst-Books/dp/0679836713/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/104-6575588-4925539?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1193929167&sr=1-2

Even though my youngest is almost past the picture book stage I plan to hang onto these books for a while. I just pulled these out and stuck them on the coffee table for my post Halloween grouchy trick or treaters to read.

Another goodie is (I always pull out the day after Halloween)
The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Junk Food
http://www.amazon.com/Berenstain-Bears-Much-First-Books/dp/0394872177/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-6575588-4925539?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1193929218&sr=1-1


… maybe do some volunteer time at you local library. There are so many kids out there that aren’t read enough to. They are always so appreciative when someone will take the time to read them a story to.

Keep moving forward! Thanksgiving is just around the corner… a time to count your blessings…

Cheers,

4

P.S. Now come on Phyl  – how much Halloween candy did you really nibble last night? My youngest came home rather sick and grumpy.  She has yet to make the correlation between the consumption of treats and her upset tummy, last night… and the anti-climax that Halloween is now another whole year away and her sad feelings this morning. My eldest too is deflated about having to put away her Pirate costume … and vented. (my teen rolls her eyes so much I think they might just fall out  ) I hope Capt Deb gets over her "brain-wreck" soon- we need a leader in a good pirates party… to lift the ole spirits of the sailors aboard the AN ship (even the spirits of those who get drunk just walking in the wind.) Arby Dar! Remember the eve of “all Hallows dayâ€? in the pagan tradition was to get rid of the evil spirits. Don’t let them get to you… today is supposed to be all saints day. Think of the good people…
Think of good thoughts...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween


P.P.S The best and most productive venting I have seen all year is this dynamo lady… I hope it has you laughing too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxT5NwQUtVM

[Sue]

Hi Phyl,

You are the best, you've always been the best, and you will always be the best of the best.  I'm  not on here as much lately, but I was just wondering how Phyl was doing and that I hadn't seen many posts from her lately, and then I read your rant.     Honey lamb, you are a terrific person and I so apprecate you and your encouraging words and your wonderful humor.  I am so sorry you are feeling punk.  I saw the tail end of the Extreme Makeover show and saw it was about Chiari malformation and I now know how to pronounce it!  It's key-ar-ee, right? 

I'm sorry to say, in my experience, it's best not to expect anything out of anybody, and then you aren't disappointed. I'm pleasantly surprised when I actually get a written thank you for a wedding/shower/birthday gift, because mostly I get thanked at the event (if I'm lucky) and that's it.  But, my disappointments aren't on the level of yours, Phyl, because you have a generous, giving, helpful heart and I haven't given of myself that much, truth be told. 

I love the mantra.  It's great.  Perhaps you should add some meditation to that, and see if that helps you.

You are a terrific person and I appreciate all you've done for this forum and for me.

Blessings to you and your family, always.

Sue in Vancouver, USA

[linnilue]

Phyll,  You do a fabulous job on this post.  We are very lucky to have a moderator who takes her job seriously, handles issues gently and with respect and looks out for the best interest of all of us here.  You are experienced, knowlegeable and well educated on AN's, their issues, their options and you never have given an opinion when someone makes a decision, even if the rest of us gasp.  You understand that each person is entitled to their own opinion/decison and you never question it in the end.  You make suggestions which are informed and then leave it up to the individual to decide which course of treatment is best for them.  People like yourself never get enough thanks.  But I want to thank you for just being you.  I always read your posts because you always educate me.  You do your job well.  You are everything a moderator needs to be, emapthetic and well informed.  Thank you for being you,  Holly 

[matti]

I so agree that common courtesy has gone by the wayside

Phyl you have given 1000% of your time, energy and love to all of us on the forum and through e-mails as well as phone calls...THANK YOU THANK YOU:-* 

hugs,
Cheryl

[Lorenzo]

...and a BIG HUGE thank you goes to all who contributed to my well being, supported me and made me laugh! Let those be gratefully thanked, and may nobody show any lack of common courtesy and appreciation. Those that shall remain nameless are very much present in my life and prove to me every day that human nature can indeed be humane, alive and kicking. Phyl, you were the first to contact me and call, and for that I am very grateful and thank you.
Thank you all, and you know who you all are.
Lorenzo

[Dealy]

THANK YOU PHYL-Too many of us take someone for granted until they are no longer there anymore. I always enjoy your posts and you will always be in my heart. I mean that with all sincereity. The world will always judge us for what they want us too be-not who we really are-I hope that makes sense. You are a person who is concerned and has compassion for your fellow person. Their are many on this site I will never forget-as Lorenzo says-you know who you are. Phyl you are one of those SPECIAL people in my life. I feel like you are a member of my family. Please-no matter what-do not change-because YOU ARE SPECIAL- THANK YOU -RON

[mindyandy]

Phyl
We all appreciate everything that you do. You always reply to posts (especially to newbies like me) and always say uplifting things to keep our head up. I always look forward to reading your encouraging words. I PERSONALLY WANT TO SAY THANK YOU!

Mindy

[yardtick]

Phyl,

You are amazing, and thank you for working so hard for all of us on this forum.  It has been a life saver for me.  It has helped me keep what little sanity I have. 

Anne Marie

[nancyann]

For Phyl:  I read your 'vent', & my heart just started crying for you.... I don't like thinking you're upset over what people do/don't do.....  I haven't replied until now, mainly because I don't know how to tell you how much you mean to me/ the 'group'(reading everyone's reply, I hope you see that).   But reading your post.....    I want to scream out "DON'T LET THE TURKEYS GET YOU DOWN"....  don't give anyone that power...
You are who you are, & we LOVE you for it.....    People react differently, PLEASE don't let others' ways get you down.....Keep on 'truckin' my dear, you do all that you do because of who you are, & you are a special star in this world.  ( As I've said before, if I was a guy your husband would have MAJOR competition !!).
& remember to say 'NO' if you're overextended.....   burnout isn't fun.....  Take as good care of yourself(if not more) as you do for so many.
Always good thoughts,  Nancy

[Sam Rush]

To Phyl ;;

THANK YOU!!!   For the nice e-mail you sent me this week,,,,,,, and as a doctor, I apologize for your Dr, not calling you back, That was rude, and there is no excuse.

[TP]

Phyl, thank you and to all of you that have been kind and supportive to those of us going thru wait and watch, surgeries, recovery and just feeling icky after treatments and/or surgery. What I've learned on this site is helping me provide some support to close friends of mine who have recently been diagnosed with cancer.

I have two very close friends (not related, live in different states), both 46, one female with breast cancer and possibly cancer in other places and a male friend who has intestinal cancer and has been told he has less than 2 years "if" his chemo works. Both recently gotten divorced. Both are raising young kids and had no idea anything was wrong with them. They both had surgery recently and will be starting chemo in the next week or so.

This site has been a God send to many of us. I have learned so much from those of you who are very "gifted" and "sensitive" in supporting folks who have gone thru difficult times. When you think that you may not be appreciated, please remember that your kind words and support do go a long way. The recipient of these gestures will in turn share their support with others and many many people will benefit from just showing some kindness! Our rewards our in heaven!