facial paralysis

[Karen]

How do all of you with facial paralysis deal with it , especially going to weddings and big things.  I went to my nephew's wedding this week-end and I still feel so self consious about the way I look especially when I talk and eat.  I can never get used to the way I look now, it's been 3 1/2 years now.  My husband says no one cares how I look, most of the time I tell myself I am just glad to be alive, but it's still hard.  I was a self consience type person before all this.  I also don't have feeling on my AN side and that feels strange all of the time.  Also doe any of you that have had the 12/7 have your eye pull when you eat and blinkning doesn't feel right either.  I keep waiting to get used to the feeling.  I have been seeing Jackie Diels and she says as I look better I will feel better about myself.    any input?  Karen

[grocerychik]

I could have written your letter myself, I know exactly how u feel. I don't try to smile cuz it looks worst only one side works. Its been 2 years , hard to get used to it. Nothing is the same.

[er]

Hello Karen

It's so funny , your husband says the same thing my husband says. I am 2 years 3 months in, But as you can see from my photo I do look better but I was smilling. I do noticed I cover my smile alot with my hand so people won't see. I did have a man come into the shop 2 weeks ago and ask me to smile and I told him I couldn't, when I told him what the problem was he said you are smilling in your own way. All I said was yes
eve

[Jeanlea]

Yes, it is hard when you can't smile.  I feel grateful that I've gotten to the point where I can make a small smile if I think about it.  My new photo is a recent one of me smiling.  I find it the most difficult when meeting new people.  It's better with people who already know me.  This week should be a challenge.  We are having a family reunion on my husband's side of the family.  They will all be people I've never met.  I feel like I should have a photo of my old face made into a mask to wear.  :-)

Jean

[grocerychik]

What is a real relief is when I get botox, it relieves all my nerves my jaw doesn't feel so tight, I don't bite my lip so much when I talk.It smooths out the bunched nerves in my chin, my eye doesn't feel so tight. I have had 2 treatments so far every 6 months tomorrow I go again. I can really feel when it wears off, so I know the difference.

[nancyann]

It's like being awake in a bad dream.  Every morning, all day & eve dealing with the dry eye, not being able to smile, talk right,  ugh, don't get me started.....

[1wareagle]

Hi Karen,

I can relate to everything you said. I am fairly new to this, compared to you. The thought of living the rest of my life with this face is so troubling.  The only hope I have right now is Dr. Brackmann said to be expecting movement anytime now. As of today I am no different than the day after surgery with my face. Trying to say words that start with P or F are still a challange. I feel like I'm doing nothing to help with the progress but he told me to just be patient. If I had an exercise to do I would feel like I was making a step in the right direction.

Ellis

[Kathleen_Mc]

I too have the eye pulling since the 7-12, it will bother you less as time goes by. As for how I look, eating etc., and going places yes I can clearly remember it bothering me for a long time, and it still does now but not when I go places where I know people. I have long acepted this is me and if someone doesn't like it that thier problem. It will come in time just keep getting out there, avoiding social gatherings only prolongs aceptance of the "new me".
Kathleen

[chrissmom]

I really feel for all of you.  I think it is much harder for a woman to adjust to this.  Christopher's face has been paralyzed for almost a year now.  He has the best attitude and he makes friends like crazy.  He doesn't let it bother him at all.  I'm amazed.  I sure have learned alot from him.  He is outgoing and friendly and people don't seem to notice or care that he talks out of the left side of his mouth and that he drinks with a straw.  So the advice that I can give you is to just let it be, go out there and be friendly with everyone and when they ask you what happened tell them !

At the Facial Nerve Center, he is participating in a study on facial paralysis and depression.  They seem to think that his positive attitude and family support have made all the difference.

[Jeanlea]

I agree.  I think that a positive attitude does help. I may get unhappy about my facial functioning from time to time, but I don't let it stop me from doing anything.  In fact when I went for facial retraining I had to answer some questions about how my facial functioning was affecting me.  I realized there really isn't anything I don't do.  I went back to teaching 8 weeks after my surgery and I had absolutely no movement then.  I had a few questions from other students in the school, but once I told them I had a tumor removed from my head they were cool with it.  After four months I was teaching other teachers. 
I think I was okay with it because right after getting out of the hospital my husband was taking me out in public doing our normal things.  Even my mom was taking me out the week after I got home from the hospital.  Here I was, walking around with a cane and a face that didn't move at all on the left side.  But hey, I was walking!  This may not be what I'd been hoping for, and at times it really stinks, but it could have been so much worse. 

Jean