Hi, Catflower:
I'm so sorry you're having trouble coping with your balance problems and hearing loss. Most of us have - or had - similar problems, even if we do all heal at a somewhat different rate. At 5 months post-op, you have to confront the reality that you still have a way to go before you reach full recovery. I thought I was doing great at 5 months post-op, but now, at 15 months, I can see a vast improvement. Healing really does take time. My surgeon warned me that I was looking at a recovery of
'months, not weeks'. He was right.
Although I didn't suffer a lot of post-surgery complications, I certainly wasn't free of problems, including SSD. Since I was in pretty good shape, overall, I kept a very positive attitude and 'worked around' my lingering disequilibrium. My balance was shaky at first but I was grimly determined to walk normally again (no swaying or stumbling) and, eventually, I could. O.K., maybe I can't walk
exactly as well as I once could, but I do fine and no one, whether friends, family or strangers, seem to notice anything odd about my walking. I no longer need to use a handrail going up or down stairs, which is a huge improvement for me. I
prefer to use the handrail but I usually deny myself the use of it and I'm now able to walk normally up or down stairways without it. I'm just not as quick as I once was. So what?
My hearing loss occurred gradually, over a period of years, and by the time I was diagnosed with an acoustic neuroma tumor I had lost all hearing in my left ear, so the only post-op adjustment I had to make was to face the reality of being permanently deaf in one ear. I do fairly well but miss things, occasionally. I've learned to compensate. If someone talks to me from a distance I either immediately walk closer to them or simply say
'Sorry, I can't hear you' and ask them to repeat what they said or to
'tell me later'. In crowds, I'm O.K. if the people near me speak up a bit....and I'll ask them to do this. Sometimes, in a social situation, I or my wife will simply tell someone sitting on my 'deaf side' that I'm deaf in that ear and to speak up or understand that if they try to converse with me from my deaf side, I probably won't hear them. No one has a problem with this and most are quick to understand and accommodate my handicap, which I appreciate. Funny how you find other people who also suffer from SSD. I discovered three people in my church who are deaf in one ear, from various (non-AN) causes. Most are younger than I am.
I believe that coping with a significant hearing loss, as we have, is one of the more difficult aspects of post-op complications, right along with headaches, facial paralysis, eye problems and swallowing difficulties. Unlike most AN complications, it isn't going to get any better. I'm just grateful for the fact that I enjoyed excellent, stereophonic hearing for close to 60 years before my AN killed it on one side. I refuse to allow the SSD to dominate my life. I hear well in my 'good' ear and I use that to my advantage. I always turn just a bit toward the person I'm talking to so that my hearing ear is closer to their mouth and, so, I can hear them better. Although I may miss a few words now and then, I usually do fine and not that many people even know that I'm totally deaf in one ear. Its a definite coping skill and takes time. I had a head start, of sorts, which helped. I always sit near the front of any speaker in a group seting and I use 'TV ears' at home so that the family can keep the TV at a moderate sound level while I can use my headphones to make the sound I receive as loud as necessary. Workarounds. I couldn't have gotten through my recovery without them. At 15 months, I still feel that I have more healing to do and I expect to improve in most areas (except hearing) within another 15 months
It may sound trite but healing and coping take both time and a positive attitude. The time will pass no matter what we do or think. The attitude thing is wholly up to us, individually. I believe in making the most of what I have. I was and remain determined to be as normal as my body will allow and I know this takes rime and effort on my part. I'm willing to do what it takes and I accept the fact that I may not be the person I was just a few years ago, but, today, I'm going to be the best 'Jim' that I can be. It isn't so much about being 'strong' as it is being both patient and determined. I have to add that my personal religious faith is a great and definite help to me, but there are many ways to find solace and hope, if you seek them out, as I trust that you will, Cat.
I wish you all the best and truly hope that your recovery will continue apace.
Jim 
