Marine 2340:
Welcome - and, with all sincerity, thank you for your service to our country. Believe me, it is appreciated.
I cannot offer any information on Dr. John McElveen (positive or negative) based on personal experience as I don't live in your area, but a Google search showed his resume includes training at Stanford and the House Ear Clinic in California as well as being a founder of the Carolina Ear and Hearing Clinic (in 1993) and a consultant professor in Otolaryngology at Duke university. This is all quite impressive but the question remains as whether Dr. McElveen has the necessary extensive experience - specifically - in performing removal surgery on acoustic neuroma tumors. Unfortunately,(in regard to finding surgeons experienced in removing acoustic neuroma tumors) AN's are relatively rare. Most neurosurgeons don't see a lot so their experience is usually somewhat limited and that can - sometimes - result in a less than positive outcome for the patient.....in this case, you. Be cautious about any physician/surgeon with less than hundreds of AN surgeries 'under his belt' and especially if they urge you to have surgery, considering the small size of your tumor. The translabyrinth approach to remove AN tumors is fairly common but it does guarantee hearing loss in the AN-affected ear. This must be considered. Radiation is probably a viable option for you, too. Its non-invasive (no hospital stay, incisions, etc) and usually is effective on small tumors, such as yours. With the small size of your AN, 'Watch-and Wait' is also possible, but that approach requires yearly MRI scans to observe any growth in the tumor. Something to consider if the MRI is an ordeal for you, as it is for some folks. All of these options need to be discussed with a physician who can 'read' your MRI, your medical history and, one hopes, offer an informed medical opinion regarding your best course of action in addressing the AN.
With your hearing loss, the potential to lose all hearing in one ear and the often debilitating consequences of AN surgery, I would venture to speculate, as you put it, that this is very likely a career-ending deal for you. SSD (Single Sided Deafness) is a definite handicap - I speak from experience - but not really a 'disability'. However, as a member of the military, I believe that - post-op - you would be greatly compromised in performing your more vigorous duties, although a 'desk job' might be quite feasible if you simply needed to put in another year to qualify for retirement benefits. Bow hunting would likely be very difficult but not impossible.
I believe that being in good physical condition and motivated, with a skillful surgeon and operating team (as I had) you could undergo surgery and come out pretty well but nothing can ever be guaranteed, Radiation is also a distinct possibility you should look into. I have no information that tells me insurance (health or life) is difficult to obtain following radiation treatments, as those treatments are usually successful. I expect that your medical condition at the time you apply, not the treatment you once had, is the salient point in what insurance underwriting guidelines consider. A call to your (or almost any) state-licensed insurance agent should answer that question.
You do have options. I trust you'll use your Marine self-discipline, get calm and consider then carefully. The best option you have is time. Use it well.
Jim