Hello

[Steven]

Hi, I have had minor ringing and hearing loss off and on in my left ear for the past 5 or 6 years and lately it has been happening for longer periods of time and been progressively worse with annoying "fuzzy" headaches on the left side of my head, so I went to the doctor last Wednesday. 
I had an MRI on Friday before I went out of town on business for this week.  I will not see my doctor until next Monday, but the technician was very evasive when I asked him if the MRI looked ok.  He kept telling me my doctor would want to see the films.  When I got home I looked online and found some pictures of MRIs showing acoustic neuromas and when I looked on my MRIs, I could clearly see a small bright spot on the film where an acoustic neuroma would appear just on one side of my head.
I have not told my wife what I saw yet, I was thinking it was neuronitis or meniere's disease.  I am really having trouble thinking that I have a tumor in my brain.  It is making me worry about death even though I know it is benign and slow growing.  I am afraid to tell my wife, I don't want to worry her.
I just wanted to share this with someone before I get back home and talk to my doctor, I am feeling very alone and "out of my head". I am worried about going deaf and having constant headaches.  We were planning on having children next year and now I am worried about that too.  I know that this is not a terminal disease but I feel like it is.

[lori67]

Hi Steven and welcome (unfortunately) to the forum.

I know how scary it is to have to wait to find out what it is inside your own head - and then to have to deal with whatever it may be.  I'm sure these type things are very difficult for our spouses and loved ones, but she probably wouldn't want you to have to worry alone.  I know I felt better once I had told my husband.  Maybe you might feel better telling your wife.  Besides, if she's anything like me - she'll yell at you afterwards for not telling her sooner!

There is a lot of information here and other places on line that can be helpful, but unfortunately, you kinda have to know what the verdict is on the MRI before you know what to research.  I hope the week goes by quickly for you so you can meet with your doctor.

As you can see from all the people on this forum - if you do have an AN - you are definitely not alone.  And if you do, there are some annoying and unpleasant things you may have to deal with - but that's not everyone's experience.  I was worried about all the things you seem to be worried about too.  I am adjusting to the hearing loss, I've never had the headaches that some people have, my balance is getting better every day and so are the facial issues.  I have 4 kids - the youngest was only 9 months old when i had my surgery, so I was worried about that too, but I think we've done well.  I wouldn't worry too much about kids in your future.  There are people here that have had children since their surgeries, so they can probably be more helpful to you in that respect.  And on the bright side - when they wake up in the middle of the night - if you sleep on your good ear, you can't hear them! (don't tell your wife I let that little secret slip. ).  As far as I'm concerned, my daughter has been sleeping through the night since she was 9 months old!

As my doctor told me when he first told me about my AN - this is not a death sentence and it may alter some parts of your life, but once you allow your body to recover - you can pretty much get back to feeling like yourself again.  He seems to be right so far.

Hang in there and try not to make yourself crazy before your appointment.  And definitely let us know what the diagnosis is.  I'll hope for the absolute best for you!
Lori

[sgerrard]

Hi Steven,

I think all MRI technicians must take a class in "poker face", or something. They are all really careful not to give any sign, good or bad, of what the MRI results might be. You really can't tell anything from the "evasive" behavior.

That little bright spot might be an AN; then again, it might not. Unless you have really scoured the films, and made all the right comparisons, you really can't say. Although it is hard to wait, you really need to see what the radiologist's report says.

I'm not so sure I would rather have neuronitis or meniere's disease anyway. I don't really know what they are, but stuff ending in "-itis" doesn't sound good to me. Most ANs prove to be truly annoying, but also managable. People do all sorts of stuff after having an AN.

So, you may not have an AN, and even if you do, you will be all right, and so will your kids, which you will still be having. Life might get a little "interesting" for a while, but then, it is bound to in one way or another anyway.

Hoping for the best. Steve

[leapyrtwins]

Steven -

your thoughts are understandable, but at this point you don't know if you have an AN or not.  Try to relax until you see your doctor, and take things from there.  If your MRI does show an AN, you've come to a great place; there's a lot of positive support and great information on this forum. 

As far as having children goes, having an AN wouldn't be an issue.

Let us know what your doctor says.

Jan

[Captain Deb]

Hi Steven,
Welcome and please know that this is not the end of the world, but it is the beginning of a journey. Please try to relax and not jump to conclusions til you see your doc. There are options out there if you do have an AN. This forum is a great place to be for support--many of us would be lost without it. Please share your thoughts with your wife. Being a wife myself, believe me, she'll be more upset if you don't.

I hate when they give you your MRI's and don't include the radiologists report. I'm assuming that's your situation. Like we're dummies or something. Jeez. They just don't understand the stress of not knowing. Pinheads!

Anyhow, again, welcome to the forum, feel free to ask any question--we have all been in your shoes at one time or another.

Capt Deb

[Brendalu]

Steven,
Hi and welcome to our little club.  We will all pray that the bright spot you saw was your personality shining through!  MRI's are the pitts and so are some of the techs!!  When I had mine the dumb and I do mean dumb receptionist in my wonderful PCP's office left a message on my answering machine.  It went something like this, "Mrs.O, you have gliosis and some other junk showing up on your MRI of your brain.  You need to call back asasp, I don't know how to pronounce these other big words this report says."  The doctor's office was closed when I got the message and I had to wait all weekend.  Needless to say, the receptionist was terminated, she did not read what the doctor wrote for her to say.  I made it through and so will you.  I am deaf in my right ear and I have learned to use it to my advantage.  For example, I don't have to hear my husband snore, my grandkids scream at each other, and other irritating sounds.  Look for the bright side of this, but wait until you get the report from your doctor.  I have a feeling your wife will be there for you no matter what.

Brenda

[Captain Deb]

" Junk in your brain?" I would hope this brainless, heartless, employee was fired on the spot. Jeez! What has happened to professionalism and common courtesy in the medical profession? I have been trying to schedule an MRI of my neck since Monday. Trying to get in before the 1st for insurance reasons. It'll only cost me a couple hundred. After the first I pay full price as I have a huge deductible. I've been calling the MRI place for 3 days straight and no one will return my call. It seems they want to send me to get the MRI 2 1/2 hrs away when there's a perfectly good place right here in town and my drs appt is in town ( he comes up here from Charlotte once a month.)Trying to find if there's any "junk" in my neck that could be triggering these infernal brainwrecks. Sorry to get off topic! Keep us posted Steven!

Capt Deb

[sgerrard]

Steven,
"Mrs.O, you have gliosis and some other junk showing up on your MRI of your brain.  You need to call back asasp, I don't know how to pronounce these other big words this report says." 

Classic. 

Steve

[leapyrtwins]

Steven -

haven't heard from you in a while.  Did you see your doctor about the MRI?

Jan