Author Topic: Depression & Anger  (Read 11835 times)

Catflower

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Depression & Anger
« on: December 31, 2007, 07:03:05 pm »
I find I'm having a lot of anger and depression for the past week or two.  I'm really missing my pre-surgery life and not being able to do what I want to do.  I've also recently been diagnosed with either rheumatoid arthritis or lupus and am on some medication that makes my balance much worse.  I vowed that I was going to get back to exercising as soon as my joint pain got under control, but now my balance is the biggest problem again.  Prior to the medication I was doing pretty well.  I tried to go to the Mall Sunday, but could only tollerate it for a few minutes and had to leave.  I had the same experience at Wal Mart today.  Some days I just feel like life reallly isn't worth it any more.

candtlaw

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Re: Depression & Anger
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2007, 09:59:33 pm »
BIG HUGS............... I am sorry you are having so much trouble..Surely it will be getting better for you soon as you get used to the meds. Isn't there something else they can prescribe? I am on a anti anxiety/depression med as well that I think is helping me to not feel so down....... Can you look into something like that with your docs? More HUGS.............
Cyndi
post CK for AN 1cm 04/30/07


Loving my life today :)

4cm in Pacific Northwest

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Re: Depression & Anger
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2007, 10:07:11 pm »
RE
I tried to go to the Mall Sunday, but could only tolerate it for a few minutes and had to leave. I had the same experience at Wal Mart today.

Even before surgery I felt this way about the mall and more so about Wal-Mart specifically. Today I could not tolerate the shopping scene but this is normal post Christmas as I have had enough of it…I think many people who have not even had AN surgery feel this way - right about now.

This is the time of year when schedules really get messed with and people who need routine can really feel thrown off. I know I have consumed more than the allowable amounts of sweets and various fats that accompany the festive holiday making… as I have every year in the past around this time.

RE
I vowed that I was going to get back to exercising as soon as my joint pain got under control, but now my balance is the biggest problem again.

It is important, not just for your physical health but also mental and spiritual, to exercise. Often dormancy can magnify depression. See if you can get hold of a stationary bike to start off with. Today I dropped off a load of “stuff� at the Goodwill and could not help but notice the abundance of exercise equipment on the floor they were selling for cheap ($ 15 – $100 as this is the time of year when people make New Years resolutions and buy the latest and greatest exercise “stuff� – and are purging their older and often hardly used equipment.) I found that when I was still having balancing issues and could not hike for exercise that the stationary bike was very good for me. My surgeon actually suggested and encouraged me to get on a stationary bike. Being that it does not move I did not have to balance it- giving my brain a break while I exercised. (I got mine for approx $15 at a church garage sale- basic but did the trick). The non weight bearing exercise of the stationary bike is also good for the days I have sore joints.

It is also the time where we, in North America,  \have the least amount of daylight (I am assuming you are writing to us from the USA). I grew up in Canada spending hours in the snow with the bright sunlight reflecting back into my ski goggles. It took me awhile to figure why the winters, here in the PNW, are so depressing.
Here is a basic link on SAD
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder
Many of my friends and neighbors who were also transplants here recommended this light to me also.
http://www.northernlighttechnologies.com/index.php?country=us
(I am sure there other brands- this is just what my husband bought for me)
 I have an in-law who had a stroke leaving him blind in one eye. He suffered from depression that year. His neurologist recommended he uses the light since his ability to absorb light into the brain was reduced in half. Both he and I find our lights to be effective. I only use mine in winter and have my stationary bike set up in front of it. I use it when it is too wet and miserable to go outside for my daily walks (i.e. exercise.) I think there are also precautions for patients with Lupus and sunlight so you might want to read up on that further before trying the SAD light.

I know for myself that the days I do not exercise – I am not a happy camper.

Here are a couple of articles to read this New Year's eve
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?articleID=000B0A8E-839C-1C61-B882809EC588ED9F
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression-and-exercise/MH00043

I have read your posts- 2007 was a tough year for you (as me). Try to sweep 2007 out-the-door and welcome in this New incoming Year.

Keep moving forward and know you are not alone here on this AN journey.  Try to examine the positive and how far you have come since the weeks just after your surgery.

Hang in there Catflower. You have buddies here on the forum.

Happy New Year 2008!

Cheers and a HUG  :) ,

4


4cm Left, 08/22/07 R/S 11+ hr surgery Stanford U, Dr. Robert Jackler, Dr. Griffith Harsh, Canadian fellow Assist. Dr. Sumit Agrawal. SSD, 3/6 on HB facial scale, stick-on-eyeweight worked, 95% eye function@ 6 months. In neuromuscular facial retraining. Balance regained! Recent MRI -tumor receded!

candtlaw

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Re: Depression & Anger
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2007, 10:11:56 pm »
gosh 4, what great advice......... I with second the exersize. I have a video called Walk Away The Pounds with Leslie Sansone. Do it right in my living room. I too feel worse on days that I don't fit that in....... and boy it will be nice to have a abundance of sunlight here at home. I felt much better in FLA. Maybe it was the sun??? hmmmm
Cyndi
post CK for AN 1cm 04/30/07


Loving my life today :)

tony

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Re: Depression & Anger
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2008, 03:07:54 am »
Sound advice re exercise
Also you may want to have a word with your Doc
Pain meds, more-or-less act in two ways
One group definately works on the central nervous system
(bit like the vino ?)
great, in many situations - but not so good if you have balance issues
there are other pain med (swelling reduction) types that may impact rather less
on the balance issues - the doc may decide on some alternative options
- caution, best not to cease the current meds till the Doc gives the OK
- or changes them ?
Hope your year improves
Best Regards
Tony

tony

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Re: Depression & Anger
« Reply #5 on: January 01, 2008, 03:20:38 am »
Sound advice re exercise
Also you may want to have a word with your Doc
Pain meds, more-or-less act in two ways
One group definately works on the central nervous system
(bit like the vino ?)
great, in many situations - but not so good if you have balance issues
there are other pain med (swelling reduction) types that may impact rather less
on the balance issues - the doc may decide on some alternative options
- caution, best not to cease the current meds till the Doc gives the OK
- or changes them ?
Hope your year improves
Best Regards
Tony

nancyann

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Re: Depression & Anger
« Reply #6 on: January 01, 2008, 08:37:27 am »
Catflower:  When I read what you wrote, I couldn't reply - it hit too close to home;  well, it HIT home.  But, you got me finally taking a serious look at how I've been feeling & living, or NOT living.   I've decided this depression is too big for me.    I've been telling myself, 'I'll get over this', but I haven't, & I can't do it alone.  I'm calling a psychiatrist tomorrow to make an appt.    So, thank you for YOUR honesty, & letting me see it's time to be honest with myself.
I wish you peace Catflower, & happier times,   Nancy
2.2cm length x 1.7cm width x 1.3cm  depth
retrosigmoid 6/19/06
Gold weight 7/19/06, removed 3/07
lateral tarsel strip X3
T3 procedure 11/20/07
1.6 Gm platinum weight 7/10/08
lateral canthal sling 11/14/08
Jones tube insert right inner eye 2/27/09
2.4 Gm. Platinum chain 2017
right facial paralysis

lori67

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Re: Depression & Anger
« Reply #7 on: January 01, 2008, 10:41:23 am »
I went through the depression/anger thing too and kept telling myself I could get though it.  When I talked to my doctor about it, he really made me feel like I was not being "crazy" or "weak" like I thought I was - he said it was an absolutely normal response to an abnormal situation.  I mean geez, you just had a brain tumor.  I think even the strongest person would be depressed and angry about it.  My point is, it's nothing to be ashamed of - it actually means you're normal!

He put me on a mild anti-depressant which has worked wonders.  I haven't had any side-effects and it really just helps to make the seemingly insurmountable things not such a big deal anymore.  I have to admit that I used to think people who took them were just whiny or not as tough as I thought I was.  Then I mentioned it to a friend who I always thought was tough as nails, and it turns out she's been taking them too.

Now, I'll get off my pharmaceutical sales pitch here and tell you that I also could not agree more with the sunlight and exercise things.  I have SAD as well.  Not nearly as bad since I moved from Upstate NY to TN, obviously, but I learned that I would be in a miserable mood if I didn't force myself to get outside and get some fresh and and soak up some sunlight.  I'll admit, sometimes it was pretty cold out there, but it really did help.  I would squeeze in some exercise at the same time - walking, cross country skiing, snow shoeing, just playing with the kids.  I've also found that this always hits the same time of year for me - right after Christmas.  i think it's because I spend so much time preparing - cooking, travelling, shopping - everything else that goes along with the holidays - that once it's over I kinda feel like I have nothing else to keep me busy.

Nancy - I'm so glad that you decided it's time to start enjoying your life again.  You've been through so much that you deserve to feel like yourself again!  You've helped so many people - it's okay to help yourself every now and then!   :)

Here's to a better 2008 for everyone!  I am more than ready to tuck 2007 away in the PAST!!
Lori
Right 3cm AN diagnosed 1/2007.  Translab resection 2/20/07 by Dr. David Kaylie and Dr. Karl Hampf at Baptist Hospital in Nashville.  R side deafness, facial nerve paralysis.  Tarsorraphy and tear duct cauterization 5/2007.  BAHA implant 11/8/07. 7-12 nerve jump 9/26/08.

4cm in Pacific Northwest

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Re: Depression & Anger
« Reply #8 on: January 01, 2008, 11:01:31 am »
Big HUG to you too Nancy...

You too have had quite the year… and extra HUGS are being sent your way also. My wish for you is that 2008 will be in the up-and-up … but know that we are here for you even when some days don’t go that way.

4

4cm Left, 08/22/07 R/S 11+ hr surgery Stanford U, Dr. Robert Jackler, Dr. Griffith Harsh, Canadian fellow Assist. Dr. Sumit Agrawal. SSD, 3/6 on HB facial scale, stick-on-eyeweight worked, 95% eye function@ 6 months. In neuromuscular facial retraining. Balance regained! Recent MRI -tumor receded!

dsuvb12

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Re: Depression & Anger
« Reply #9 on: January 02, 2008, 11:23:41 am »
YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS! I was experiencing the same symptoms because I was a first year head volleyball coach that was very athletic pre-surgery and it frusterated me so much how I couldn't demonstrate the skill let alone explain it!  But I got through that hard time and so will you!  You just have to be strong and believe that God gave us these obstacles and not other people because He knew we could get through it!  Best of luck to you and stay positive!
4.6cmm tumor pressing on the brain stem--removed 7/24/07
Right facial paralysis, loss of hearing in right ear
Gold weight in right eye
BAHA Implant
Dr. Gary Moore was ENT and Dr. Long was neurosurgeon both of Omaha, NE
Had two scar revisions due to staph infection and suture allergy--Dr. Johnso

Catflower

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Re: Depression & Anger
« Reply #10 on: January 03, 2008, 03:55:23 pm »
Thanks for everyone for their words of encouragement.  My doctor did increase my Prozac dose and I did manage to exercise once so far this week.  I have the Walk Away The Pounds DVD for "older" folks.  Boy, it's hard to admit I need that ;)

Linda in WV

lori67

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Re: Depression & Anger
« Reply #11 on: January 03, 2008, 04:56:58 pm »
Just put a piece of tape over the "Older".  I won't tell anyone!!

At least they don't have a version for "ancient folks" - do they?  I don't think I'd admit to buying that one.

Glad you're feeling better!
Lori
Right 3cm AN diagnosed 1/2007.  Translab resection 2/20/07 by Dr. David Kaylie and Dr. Karl Hampf at Baptist Hospital in Nashville.  R side deafness, facial nerve paralysis.  Tarsorraphy and tear duct cauterization 5/2007.  BAHA implant 11/8/07. 7-12 nerve jump 9/26/08.

candtlaw

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Re: Depression & Anger
« Reply #12 on: January 03, 2008, 05:39:10 pm »
I do the walk away the lbs video too :)  I am soooooo glad to see that you were able to start excersizing and change your meds. Take care Linda and keep walking!  :D
Cyndi
post CK for AN 1cm 04/30/07


Loving my life today :)

Hip

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Re: Depression & Anger
« Reply #13 on: January 04, 2008, 12:42:24 pm »
I also have anger and depression problems after my surgery. My family help me cope with these emotional problems (though I sometimes could see the stress on my wife's face and the frustrated look from my son).  What I have been doing is to take a deep breath or taking a walk before I blow up.  I also count to 20 in my head when I sense my anger boiling up. 

My balance problem went away after I saw a PT who specializes in vestibular problems.  Treatments included doing exercises with my eyes closed or walking in the pool (chest deep).   Hang in there because everything will be better from now on. 

Hip - MD

Catflower

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Re: Depression & Anger
« Reply #14 on: January 04, 2008, 02:47:53 pm »
I exercised again today.  Just being able to do the DVD given my multiple joint problems is a big accomplishments.  I made it two days this week and will set a goal of 3 next week.  This weekend I'm taking care of my 18 month old granddaughter so that should provide some exercise :) 

I do feel better emotionally if I exercise even if I have to make myself do it.  Once I get started I'm glad I'm doing it.  Hopefully, this will help with my residual balance issues as well.

Linda in WV