Hi Elise,
First I would like to respond with support for your situation. I'm sure it can't be easy, and all of us hope to avoid that particular scenario. There is a note of wistfulness in your post, which seems very understandable. Hindsight can be so clear, the what-if question is too tempting not to consider it, at least for a little while.
Going by your posts from last spring, I take it that you are still in the small category, 1 to 1.5 cm in size, is that right? I don't think that would be considered urgent, and you may well be able to wait six months to see what happens before doing surgery. Are they talking about a trans-lab? In that size range, with the hearing already lost, it would seem like the natural and safest choice, from what I understand. I know that some surgeons view radiated tumors as stickier, but I am curious why your doctors describe the surgery as "very tricky": my impression is that House and other places still get good results with surgery on radiated tumors, especially with trans-lab.
In my own case, my decision to to radiation now, rather than wait, was based on the hope that I could preserve some hearing in the AN side. So far it is holding steady, though it is not great, and it may yet deteriorate to unusable. I think I would have waited longer if it had not been for that. While you are right that deciding on radiation now sets a course for future options that can't be changed, I think that is true of any decision, including the decision to watch and wait. Others like me chose to wait, only to lose their hearing in the mean time. You can't guarantee a win, you can only take your best shot, and hope for the best.
I wish you all the best, and I hope you find a good resolution to your situation.
Steve