My wife and I have always had good relationships with our doctors. She is a very pleasant, demure and intelligent woman who usually asks lots of questions (she's undergone multiple surgeries) but does so politely and with deference to the doctor's position. If she disagrees, she doesn't make it an 'issue' but simply says she'll have to consider his recommendation for surgery, therapy, medication, whatever. She won't tolerate any doctor that is dismissive of her complaints or symptoms, wastes her time by running way late on a consistent basis or acts in a disrespectful manner. She has 'fired' one or two such doctors by simply not going back and, in only one case, asking that her records be transferred. No one asked her why, which was telling.
I rarely saw a doctor as I've been blessed with good health most of my life, but I did see our affable PCP every two years or so. He usually told me that he wished all of his patients my age were in as good condition as I am. I liked this doctor! When my AN symptoms manifested themselves (early 2006), I saw my PCP and he ordered an MRI. He called me at my home at 7 PM to give me the bad news that the MRI showed a large AN. After a false start, I was referred to the neurosurgeon who ultimately performed my surgery; Dr. Issac Goodrich. My wife accompanied me to the consultation and we both had questions, which the surgeon patiently answered over a 30 minute period without ever looking at his watch or taking a phone call. He kept using the phrase 'if you decide to hire me' and that impressed us, as he came highly recommended, taught at Yale Medical School and had 30 years of experience. We hired him. He did a remarkable job and worked closely with a radiation oncolgist to 'map' my subsequent FSR treatments. The radiation oncologist was also great. Very friendly and open to discussion, if we wanted to. Overall, a very gratifying experience.
The constant seems to be maintaining an environment of mutual respect between doctor and patient. My wife and I educate ourselves regarding whatever medical issue she or myself (mostly her) may be dealing with but we don't presume to know more that a highly trained specialist. We are not intimidated by any doctor and refuse to be patronized or treated with disrespect. We usually aren't. If we are, we walk, without a lot of drama. Fortunately, that has hardly ever been necessary. I trust this will continue to be the case in the future.
Jim