sad story

[bob]

i am looking for help. my wife's story is not good i have sent it to admin  and asked if i should post it but no responce. i am asking for your input. should i post  it will the story help anyone

[Battyp]

if posting will help you then it will help one person and frankly that should be enough.  As a teacher we often wonder if we are "helping" our students and I've found that just one student being helped is worth the scarifce of teaching.

My prayers are with you!
M

[wind6]

Bob, I agree with Michelle. Sometimes just having someone hear us helps the healing process. Sherry

[okiesandy]

Bob,

Please post your wife's story. We all need the bad with the good to help make our decisions as to treatment. My husbands cousin had about the worst outcome a human could have with his AN surgery.  It was a really sobering experience to my husband who just pooh pooed my fear of surgery. Now he sees that not everyone comes out with good results. He has been much more involved in my decisions about treatment and where I will have it done.

If you cannot say what you want and need to say here, then we might as well just shut this forum down.

With all best wishes,

Sandy

[bob]

thank everyone for their support and well wishes. on aug 30 -05 my wife had a translab to remove A 4CM AN FROM HER RIGHT SIDE the operation went well but took twice as long as expected 9hrs there was no facial nerve damage and the dr's were happy with the results.she had a very hard time in recovery with violent nauesa.stayed in icu for five days.she came home an dwas doing well when she developed a csf leak on sept 12.went to doc office on the 13 and readdmited to hospital to install a spinal drain to try to seal the leak.the drain was in for three days and the leak stopped.the next day she went into a regular room and was doing well.on sat sept 17 the leak returned and the md decided to redo the surgury incision and the fat seal along with a spinal shunt to control the fluid pressure.had the surgury on sunday the 18 of sept and came thru easier than the first one stayed in the icu. on the 22 of sept she started to show neurilogical distress.loss of eye control .they did a mri and found a couple of small strokes on the left side of her ceribelumn.on the night of the 23 she had several large strokes in different parts of her brain and also in her brain stem.they found severe brain swelling and did a crainiotomy to try to releive the swelling thay a;so had installed several drains in the front and back of her brain .they did another crainiotomy on sunday the 25 because her brain continued to swell.after several more strokes she passed away on the 28 of sept.the post motom foung that she had a fungul menigitus of the brain and stem. it was never found where the fungus came from it is a common air born fungus that never showed on the culture that they  did on a daily basis.

[wind6]

Bob, My heart and soul cries for you and your wife. Indeed a very sad story. I hope talking about it here helps you with your grief. If there is anything at all I can do to help please let me know. Maybe just having someone to listen.There are so many wonderful people here I hope you will find it helpful to search for support here.
Gosh...there really arent any words that I can think of to help ease your pain. Just know that out there somewhere are people that truely cares about you and about this horrendous outcome for your wife. My thoughts are with you.  Sherry

[shoegirl]

Dear Bob,

I want to thank you for sharing your story.  It is very sad and tragic.   I am so sorry you lost your wife.  Words cannot say enough to express how truly sorry I am.  I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain. 

All of the members of this forum are wonderful, and we will be here to support you.  If I can help you - please let me know.  I will say a prayer for you and your family.

My deepest sympathy,
Suzanne


 

[cookiesecond]

Bob,
I am so sorry to hear of your tragic loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I am sure we have all thought about these complications and probably just dismissed those thoughts, now we know it is real. Those of us with sucessful outcomes have so much to thank God for and I feel your story helps to remind us of that! Thank you so much for posting. We do care and are here to listen any time.I pray God will flood your mind with wonderful memories and a supernatural peace that will help ease the pain.Just remember we are here and we care.
Love and prayers.
Lynn

[nannettesea]

Bob,
Words can't express my condolences.  Your wife was very brave, and what a freak turn of events for her to get the fungal meningitis.  You must be devastated.

The people on this site are wonderful.  If it helps you to talk here, do so as much as you need.

Again, SOOO sorry for the sad news.  Your wife has passed over to where there is no more pain or trauma for her.  Will include you in my prayers.
Nan

[bob]

thanks to everyone for your kind word and wishes.posting helped me and grief counseling also. i was angry at everyone for awhile and finally have gotten it to the point where i can handle it. the best advice i can give from this experence is to make sure that you are completly comforable with you surgury team. if things go wrong there won't be any what if's. i went to a couple of md/lawyer to see about malpractic and both said the doc did everything they could . that helped but still wonder if we had fought the ins for house or anouther facilitly what would have been the outcome? i will never know  please get the best you can  good luck to all and my best wishes for speedy and full recovery you are all in my prayers ....bob

[okiesandy]

Bob,

I have read your posts several times. This just makes my stomach turn. I am so very sorry your wife's surgery turned out this way. Your post serves to reinforce the fact that nothing we do is 100% in this journey to find a cure or treatment for our AN's. I have very recently decided to opt for radiation instead of surgery and this is one of the many reasons I have reconsidered my options.  I hope you will continue to post and let us know how you are doing. Our prayers and thought are with you.

Sandy

[David707]

Bob,

I am very very sorry to read your story.  Like evrybodyelse, I want to express my deepest condolence to you and your family. 

Thanks for sharing the story with us.  It does bring us a little bit clsoer together.  It reminds all of us what we had gone through.  You and your family will also be in our thoguhts and prayers. 

Best wishes for you and your family.

David(707)

[russ]

Bob
  On behalf of ANAWAY, a Yahoo support group for AN, we express our sincerest condolences for this very sad loss.
  We do so pray grief counseling helps even though it has been 7 weeks since your wife's death.
  I'm saddened personally at reading this... Have been reading and participating in different groups for some years now and there aren't a lot of passings, but, there are some.
  Russ Korte

[Kathleen_Mc]

Bob: Your story is so sad, your wife died trying to live. There really are no words that can lessen your sorrow.
I had great difficulty actually going through with my second surgery for A.N. because of the knowledge that anything can happen when a person has any type of surgery and the simplest things can cause death.
When I had my first surgery I went into that O.R. expecting not to come out alive (was given 50% chance of surviving the surgery as the tumor was large and close to the brain stem) and was so surprise to awaken afterwards.
The second time I went in praying to come out alive and thanked God when I awoke afterwards.
 May her soul rest in peace
Kathleen

[thecakes]

 
Bob, I'm so sorry you lost your wife.  I too realized that not all operations go well.  Mine did not, but I'm alive and doing about as good as I can.  I'll tell my whole story.  IN 2002 the factory where my husband and I worked at announced that they were going to Mexico. (We worked there for 25 years) We had just sighed papers to remodel our house big time.  We thought it over and decided to go ahead with it anyhow.  Then I learned I have this brain tumor.  In oct.02 I had surgery at OSU med. center.  12hours and they couldn’t sew me up.  I had 2 more operations the next day for that.  I had a stroke on the table. Then got a blood clot in my left leg, had 2 seizures and went in a coma for 6 weeks.  Caught pneumonia also.  I spent 3 months at OSU Medical Center.  Came home in a wheelchair.  I couldn’t remember how I remodeled the kitchen, the whole house was a new suprise to me.  I've had therapy for 6 months and lots of exercise with my kids helped also.  Its different enough to come home to no job (I know I could never do it anyhow) but to have all these disabilities is a real trip.  I get SSI  Thank God.    The cakes