Happy Endings/New Doors

[ppearl214]

For Kaybo and so many others that have taken such inspiration from a very inspiring man... with regret, I share that Randy Pausch passed away this morning. 

http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/books/07/25/obit.pausch.ap/index.html

For me, as many here know my full medical plight.... I have taken such inspiration from this man in all that he shared.... For me, in light of what I endure.... I continue to take strength from his words, his gestures, his insight... and most of all, his zest for life.

May he now rest, pain-free..... and for all those in his life (and for those lives he entered, such as mine and others)... may there be peace.

Phyl

[Kaybo]

Phyl~
Thanks for alerting me to this.  While I am sad for his family, especially the kids, I know that what he shared has, and will, have a tremendous impact on so many and that thru that his children will grow up with an incredible legacy from him.  I know, just by hearing him speak, that he probably made some incredible "provisions' for his children to learn more about him at different stages in thier lives.  Let us all remember what he brought, and shared, to this world and strive to live our lives and stories in a way that helps others too.

K

[Debbi]

Thanks for posting this, Phyl.  Like you, I am saddened by his passing - he was definitely a hero who walked among us.  I believe he leaves an amazing legacy behind, and I hope he is resting peacefully now.

Debbi

[Jim Scott]

Phyl:

I just read about Randy Pausch's death before logging onto the website. 

It's always tragic when a vital, relatively young man (47) is stricken with inoperable cancer and dies far too soon, leaving a wife and children.  However, Randy Pausch took his grim and ultimately fatal diagnosis and reacted in a way that inspired millions and certainly gave hope to those dealing with other, non-fatal situations.  Randy Pausch fought his cancer but didn't cling to life in some panicky attempt to 'beat' death.  He faced the stark reality of his own impending mortality head on.  He naturally was saddened at the thought of leaving his wife a widow and his children fatherless so he did all he could to help them (his book deal was worth a well-deserved 6 million).  Just as importantly, Randy Pausch tried to instill in his young children the sense of intellectual curiosity and zest for living that he had in abundance.  To his great credit, that zest for life never left Randy, even in the dark months following his cancer diagnosis and the typically unpleasant chemotherapy treatments.  Randy loved life and felt that if we couldn't 'beat the Reaper' by living long we could 'beat' him by living a full, interesting life.  Randy won, even if his life ended prematurely.  His pain is over now and his family has some wonderful memories of a special man.  So do we all.  May he rest in peace.  My condolences to his wife and children.

Jim

[kimberly]

Sorry, I'm a little late coming in on this .......but for me one of the most positive things was realizing that I have so many wonderful people in my life who care for me and my well being.  Also in realizing this, I haved learned to try and reach out more to people in my life , whether they are aquaintances, great friends, family, or just a stranger in line at the grocery store who strikes up a conversation for no apparent reason.

Also, as others have said, it is so much more clear that the "small stuff" is just that, small stuff.  I have a greater appreciation for the every day things we have the ability to do and a greater appreciation for my independence. 

I think I've developed a tolerance for other people who might be slow drivers or rude in line at the movie store or some other trait that they might have that in the past would have annoyed me.  Now I tend to think to myself "okay kim, cut him/her a break , maybe he/she just got home from brain surgery or maybe just found out that he/she has a medical problem of some sort"

I can't forget to add that I would not have found this site and it is a reminder to me of how strong and great the human spirit is when I read all the stories here of people's triumphs, trials and tribulations!

Despite the worries, pain and everything negative that came along with an AN , overall I would say it was an experience that had a positive impact on my life.

Kimberly

[Debbi]

Kim-

Well said.  You exemplify my belief that while we may not be able to control what happens to us, we can control how we choose to deal with it.  Randy Pausch is not the only hero who walks among us...this forum is filled with heros.

Debbi

[MAlegant]

Hi all,
I too was saddened by Randy's passing; he was indeed an inspiration.  As for new doors and happy endings, I can say that the biggest revelation has been the outpouring of support offered to me though all of this.  Friends, family, colleagues, and of course AN forumites.  It has reinforced for me what is most important in this life and it has very little to do with career or money.  I'm not happy this happened to me but in a strange way I am grateful for lessons learned.
Best,
Marci

[leapyrtwins]

I could have sworn I posted a reply on this thread a day or two ago, but maybe I previewed and then forgot to post 

Jim -

you have some wonderful points in your post.  I couldn't have said it better myself.

Randy Pausch was an inspiration to us all and my prayers are with his family.

May Randy rest in peace.

Jan

[Debbi]

Okay, I'm up for the challenge. Steve. you are so great for saving this and bringing it out now!

It was one year ago tomorrow that I had surgery.  Pretty textbook event for the surgeons - took 5 1/2 hours, got all but a few bits of the tumor, facial nerve tested well throughout, patient woke up and immediately threw up.  Yep, pretty textbook.

As I reflect back on this year, I feel proud, and I feel humbled.  Am I a different person?  Yes, in some ways, I suppose I am.  I am more diligent about telling my husband, family and friends how much I love them.  At the same time, I am less patient wtih those around me who won't take control of their lives and who persist in being miserable.  I am more patient with people who are having a tough time as long as they are making an effort.  I've "fired" several clients because I really didn't think they actually wanted to change - there's plenty of other coaches out there who will take their money, I don't need to invest in perpetuating patterns of failure.  I have learned to be much more patient with myself and to ask for help when I need it (always hard for me in the past.)  And, I've learned how to politely say no to things that aren't not in alignment with my core values and goals.  I take more time to just enjoy a moment.  And, I've started taking photos again because I seem to be seeing beauty in things I hadn't noticed in many years.

I've also learned to execute a nearly flawless "SSD Swivel" without falling flat on my face.  In fact, Willie tells me that it is like some strange form of deranged ballet ... a tentative note floats out and Debbi twirls and pirouettes about trying to find the source of the note before it fades into oblivion.   

And, I've learned to surrepticiously wipe my lower right lip after every bite lest a Porterhouse be hanging off my numb lip.  I've also learned to manually hold my lips closed while rinsing my mouth out so as not to spray water everywhere.  Oh, and I have also mastered drops in my eyes anywhere, anytime, even at high speeds. 

I know that, for me, this was a life changing event.  And, I can happily report that the most important changes have all been good.  You get used to the little stuff like the SSD and the occasionally drooling  and you also realize that it doesn't define who you are.

BTW, some of you may enjoy this article I published a few months ago "7 Things a Brain Tumor Taught Me"  http://www.ezinearticles.com/?7-Things-A-Brain-Tumor-Taught-Me&id=1876243

[NancyMc]

 
Congratulations!!!!!

[Kate B]

BTW, some of you may enjoy this article I published a few months ago "7 Things a Brain Tumor Taught Me"  http://www.ezinearticles.com/?7-Things-A-Brain-Tumor-Taught-Me&id=1876243

Thanks for sharing this Debbi!  It is an inspiration.  I am in awe of people who can articulate and condense an experience into life lessons.

Kate

[sgerrard]

Hi Debbi,

Thanks for taking the bait. 

It was one of my favorite topics from last year - a good big picture look at having an AN. I still stand by what I posted back then; I did not realize at the time that knitting would be one of the things I would try, but try it I did, and it has worked out well.

I know what you mean about people who seem to insist on not taking control and being miserable. They are a drain on energy, and I don't feel like I have that much to spare. I could still do with learning to say no more readily, when that is going to turn out to be my answer in the end anyway.

Having an AN has changed my life too, and for the increased awareness of what is important in my life, it has been a good change.

Steve

[NancyMc]

Having an AN has changed my life too, and for the increased awareness of what is important in my life, it has been a good change.

Hear, hear!  Bravo!

[arkansasfarmgirl]

It took me a few minutes to figure out my answer.  I'm still dealing with facial paralysis and that tends to dominate my thoughts when I think about my AN journey.

1)  I never suspected how many people cared about me until this happened and they were coming out of the woodwork to send me prayers and cards and help out in any way possible.

2)  I just bought a really cool horse that I wouldn't have had the pleasure of owning if I hadn't sold all of my others last fall before my surgery.

3)  I suspect that in retrospect, I will have grown as a human being because of this experience
:-)
Vonda

[Keri]

Hi Debbi,
I just read your article. It was great! I had intended to post to this thread but then lost track of it. I did just post to the one Jan started about positive things from an AN.
I'm five or so months post op - my residual issues are facial weakness / eye stuff (but improving) and some fatigue (just need a cat nap sometimes and hit a wall). Oh yeah, and the SSD. Any regrets? No. I think problems help us be better and stronger people.

Thanks for this - I like the creative title too.

Keri