I totally understand the nighttime blues. It will be almost two years since my AN was removed. I jumped back into work after three surgeries within 2.5 months of my AN being removed. I have been working nonstop. I have been extremely positive for the most part. HOWEVER, I find that my SSD keeps me from going places, I don't like large crowds, I am tired of missing half of what people say when I do go out to eat or talk to folks in church. In addition, I miss my smile, not that I had a great smile but I would love to be able to open my mouth and give a big ole smile. My face hurts quit a bit due to paralysis and I miss crying (not that I was a cryer but when you can't do it you miss it : ) I do not have any tears in my left eye and I think it would do me good if I could cry once in a while. For some reason the tears in my right eye don't seem to compensate for the left eye. To look at me you wouldn't think anything is wrong until I smile or if I get tired.
Now for the latest, I never have taken any drugs unless they were antibiotics or aspirin for headache. I have been feeling stressed lately due to my long hours working. I finally asked my Dr if I could take something for stress. The first medication he prescribed made me very sick and tired so after two weeks he switched it and then I started on another prescription a little over a week and half ago and developed a bad rash. So now I am off of taking stress medication. I was on it for a total of 3.5 weeks. Oh well, I find at night this is when it bugs me the most. I don't share my frustrations with my friends because I don't want to complain and I don't want my burdens on their shoulders. I feel so blessed that I am alive and able to exercise, work and do everything I did before. Let's face it, we do have disabilities and it is something we deal with daily. I haven't been to this site in several weeks, it does me good to read some of the issues we all are facing.
