I've Been Bumped Three Days Before Surgery...

[Debbi]

Oh,Carrie - how infuriating!  I am so glad you called them again - can't imagine what might have happened.  It amazes me how uncaring some of the medical support people can be - it is espcially surprising when the physician is a good and caring one. 

Meanwhile, I am keeping fingers, toes and whatever else crossed that June 30 is the date.  Keep us posted, okay?

Sending good thoughts your way.  Remember to breathe...

Debbi

[cmp]

Thanks, Jim and Debbi, for the sympathy and crossed fingers!  (And Jim, I think I will take your advice and put off visiting the "complaint department" till AFTER the surgery...  )

Though I don't have 100% closure before the weekend as I'd hoped to, I apparently will be getting the surgery in June (hallelujah!). Both secretaries said as much, giving me some confidence it's actually true... 

The June 24th date is definitely an option, and they're waiting to hear back from Dr Martuza about whether the 30th (which they understand is my strong preference) works for him as well.

Since I'm in a Murphy's Law frame of mind after yesterday, however, and feel the need for some extra insurance, I went ahead and sent a brief email to both doctors appealing for a June date ...

 

[wendysig]

Carrie,

I',crossing everything that can be crossed - fingers, toes, shoelaces -- as I told Debbi, I never could cross my eyes,  and hoping you get your June 30 date.  It must be frustrating and infuriating to be given the run around about such an emothionally charged issue.  If these secretaries have a problem with each other, the paitents should not be caught  in the crossfire.  And unless you're a horrible, nasty demanding patient, which I really can't picture you as, so let's just dismiss that thought, why on earth would they have an issue with you?  Even if you were, which again I' m 100% ysure your're not, they are supposed to be professionals and treat patients with respect and compassion.  I think for some reason, the right hand didn't know what the left hand was doing.  Maybe the move played a part in things.  Whatever the problem was, I hope it's straightened out and you get your date. Good luck and lert me know what's going on.

Best wishes,

Wendy

[leapyrtwins]

Carrie -

I'm hoping you get the date you want.  This whole experience sounds like it's been very frustrating and I can certainly understand your aggravation.

In my experience, doctor's offices are a lot like insurance companies.  It's sometimes very helpful to find out who knows what's going on (ie - who is the most competent and responsible person) and try to deal directly with them whenever possible.  They are the ones who get things done.

My doctor has a wonder woman who schedules his surgeries, but she has helped me several times with things that aren't really her job when other members of his staff have failed to follow through.  I have learned that when I contact her directly, I don't have to call his office more than one time about a particular request.  When I don't contact her directly I sometimes have to ask two or three times.  I have told my doctor on several occasions how responsive this staff member is because I feel it's very important for him to know when someone is doing an outstanding job.

Jan

[cmp]

Wendy--no, I'm not a difficult patient at all (though if my date turned out to be in July, I might just morph into one...) I think that probably my suddenly bumped surgery rubbed against some office-moving-related chaos in the neurosurgeon's office, producing even more chaos (sigh...)

Jan--you're so right, analysing the power structure in an office is usually key to getting results... (wish I could apply that insight meaningfully to dealing with the Medicare bureaucracy on my mother's behalf...) Actually, I have been dealing directly with the two women who answer most directly to the docs in their respective offices and have primary responsibility for scheduling, so things really shouldn't have gotten so fouled up. I'm hoping the emails I sent straight to the doctors will help things stay on track now...

thanks for your support, and hopefully I'll have good news tomorrow!

[leapyrtwins]

Carrie -

I'm hoping you have good news tomorrow, as well 

Jan

[jerseygirl]

Carrie,

I am also hoping for news tomorrow.  You certainly don;t need to be in this situation!

                Eve

[Debbi]

Carrie-

Keeping my fingers crossed that you get the date you want - and that you get it TODAY!

Debbi

[cmp]

Thanks very much, everyone, for your support through this!

I did get a June date, but unfortunately not the one I was hoping for for my son's sake... I

New date is Tuesday, June 24th, the day before he gets driven to the Berkshires for a month of camp. I honestly can't think of how to finesse this to minimize the impact on his summer--he's the shy, sensitive-but-stoical sort, who will be very worried about his mom but not say a word to anyone about what's eating him.

I'm also concerned about my poor husband, who after a very stressful, start-out-at-dawn day the 24th will be rising early again on the 25th to do a 5 hour round trip solo, while I'm still in the ICU.

I have a call into the camp director to ask for suggestions and ideas--hopefully he will have some good ones!

My very kind mother-in-law has offered to drive down from NY with my FIL and either take my son to camp solo (he will NOT like going with his grandparents instead of us one bit!) or at least accompany my husband to help with the driving (this may help, but the addition of two wonderful-but-very-noisy personalities may not be ideal either--sort of the "too many cooks" phenomenon...)

Now to go update various family members and friends, partly by email but largely by phone... I'm getting laryngitis just thinking about it! 

thanks again for all the crossed fingers!

Carrie

[lori67]

Carrie,

Sorry the date wasn't ideal, but at least you have something firm to work with.

Camp in the Berkshires sounds great.  Would you feel better if I were to go with your son and keep an eye on him for the month?  Really, I wouldn't mind.   

Hopefully you can figure out who needs to be where and when.  I'm sure there must be a way for you to contact your son at camp - once he hears your voice, he'll probably feel much better.

Good luck!!
Lori

[wendysig]

Carrie,
Glad to hear you finally got y our new date but that it isn't the one you'd been hoping for.  If I've learned anything with this experience, it's that things rarely go as planned.  I hope your son is okay and doesn't stress out too much over this.  As Lori suggested, if there is a way you can call him at camp he'll probably feel a lot better.  On the brght side, at  least June 24 isn't that far off.  I hope eveyrthng else goes more smoothly.

Best wishes,
Wendy

[cmp]

Would you feel better if I were to go with your son and keep an eye on him for the month?  Really, I wouldn't mind.

Sure, Lori, if the accommodations (top bunk in a cabin full of sweaty 15 year olds) are OK with you, I'll tell them to reserve you a spot! 

Wendy--you and Lori are absolutely right; the fact that I have a date and that it's near at hand is the most important thing. We've just spoken with the camp director, and they will be very accommodating about letting my husband call Dylan at camp to let him know that everything's ok, as well as about letting me call, once I'm out of ICU and ready for a brief conversation.

The camp director suggested we talk to Dylan and let him be our guide to how we manage things--he said that if Dylan is preoccupied with how his mom is doing, he won't integrate well into camp and it would be better to let him go up a day or two late (would be easier on my husband, too). On the other hand, if he'd prefer to go up on time and be phoned with news, we'll go with that approach. Very sound advice (and I don't know why we didn't think of it!)

Carrie

[Kaybo]

Carrie~
Glad you got a firm date (even though it sawn't the one you wanted) and good advice from the camp director! 

Will be praying for you and yours!
K

[lori67]

Gosh, Carrie, you know I WOULD go to camp if you really needed me to, but since the situation seems to be under control, I guess I'll just stay here.     Phew... 15 teenaged boys sounds  like more than anyone could handle!

I figured they could be accomodating and make a few exceptions to the phone call rules once they knew the situation.  And at least you know he'll be in good hands and keeping very busy while you're recuperating.

Lori

[leapyrtwins]

Carrie -

glad to hear your got a date, even if it's not the most ideal one for you.

The camp dilemma sounds very frustrating and I can understand why you are concerned about your son, but I think the camp director's idea of letting your son be your guide is an excellent suggestion.  Who knows, your son might even come up with some solutions that you haven't thought of yet 

I hope everything falls into place before June 24th,

Jan

Oh, almost forget, did you put your surgery date on the AN Calendar?