NY/NJ Area ANers Lunch Event - JULY 19 in NYC

[lori67]

K - I think that's my problem too!  I'm not really lazy - I'm just deaf!    Now if only I could convince myself via my good ear....

Lori

[leapyrtwins]

Lori -

if you're able to do that, please clue me in 

Jan

[wendysig]

Hi Jan -
Don't you just hate it when you don't listen to you?  I know what you mean about responsibilities.  I'm not working right now,and in fact was in the midst of job searching when I found out about my AN.  At that point it seemed like a good idea to wait until I decided on a treatment and had it.  I hoipe to be gainfully employed again well before Christmas.  My kids are a full time job too, even when they're not around and I don't get a lot of help either.   Since you have to do everything yourself, I'm sure it's twice as hard.  Every now and then though, you need to make some time just for you.  Maybe you can ship them off to a friend's house (does you ex take them at all?)The kids will survive if  you take some time for you.  In fact, it's good for them to see you taking care of you, it will make them value you more, in my opinion anyway.

Wendy

[leapyrtwins]

Thanks for the input, Wendy 

I do take time for myself whenever I can.  Lots of times when I have a doctor's appointment, instead of taking a few hours off work I take the whole day if I can and spend the "extra" time doing something I enjoy.  I also send the kids to my parents house every now and then for a few days.  In August I'll be traveling to Minnesota for work for about a week and that will also be some grownup time for me.   

My ex doesn't see the kids at all - hasn't for about 2 years now - which is both a blessing and a curse.  It's definitely better for the kids not to have to deal with some of the stuff he was dishing out, but at the same time I don't get the regular breaks that a lot of divorced parents get.  I'm not complaining though; I'm actually very happy that I have sole custody.  Children grow much too fast and it will be all too soon before I'll have so much time on my hands I won't know what to do with myself.

Jan 

[wendysig]

Hi Jan -
I get what you're saying.    At least for now it's on your mind,  but it sounds like you've got an awful lot on your plate.  Eventually things will fall into place and when that happens, you'll probaby start running again.  When that happens, I guess you'll ruin all the fun Lori plans to have chasing you with  her carr!

Wendy

[lori67]

That's okay, once Jan has some free time, i'm going to send my 5 year old and my 2 year old..and the dogs to Auntie Jan's house to visit.  Wouldn't want her to be lonely!   

Lori

[Kaybo]

Lori~
Let me know when that is and I will send my 5 & 6 year old to visit Auntie Jan too.  It is almost like having twins... 

K

[leapyrtwins]

Bring 'em on girls!  The more the merrier. 

I love little kids.  You know what they say "little kids, little problems - big kids, big problems"    I'll bet none of your kids will want illegal fireworks, Ugg boots or a trip to Tiffany's - at least not for a few years 

A very honored, Auntie Jan 

[wendysig]

Jan -
Your kids sound just like mine -- they could be quadruplets!  Does your daughter want every handbag Coach has too?

Wendy

[lori67]

Hey Jan, you forget I have a 20 year old and a 17 year old also... I know all about big problems.  Fortunately for the little ones, by the time they are teenagers, I will have had myself committed to an insane asylum and James can deal with them. 

[leapyrtwins]

Wendy -

if my daughter has her way I will be financially ruined by the time she hits high school    She has very expensive tastes - NorthFace jackets, Ugg boots, Puma gym shoes, Chanel No. 19 perfume, etc.  The kid dresses and smells better than I do    And last year in summer camp she developed a taste for StarBucks - which is the latest fad here among pre-teens.  Yikes!  She does love Coach, but so far she only has a Coach wallet (from the outlet) that a friend gave her for her birthday. 
 
While I realize I don't have to say "yes" to all her requests for high-end items, in all fairness she does get, and wear, a lot of hand me downs from her cousins.  She also managed to save $150 plus tax for a pair of silver earrings from Tiffanys, so I have to give her some credit 

Thank goodness my son doesn't share her expensive tastes - he's happy with jeans and t-shirts from Walmart 

Lori -

I keeping forgetting that you have older and younger children.  I am older than you though, so that explains my forgetfulness 

Don't worry, I'll visit you at the asylum - unless I forget 

Jan

[wendysig]

Jan -
I know what you mean about your daughter having expensive taste. Cudos to her for saving money to buy her own earrings from Tiffany's though.  Maybe she can give my kids lessons.   Even though my younger daughter's birthday isn't until July 2, her birthday party was yesterday.  We started having it early for two reasons.  Her best friend goes to Norway (that's where her mother is from) every summer and usuallly leaves the day after school lets out.  That used to mean she could not attend my daughter's party, which upset them both.  Also, a July 2 birthday party is difficult.  School is out and a lot of people start vacations almost immediiately, plus there is the July 4th weekend., so having the party early just works out better.  Anyway, she had been begging me for Guitar Hero for her PlayStation.  I bought her the dual game pack that has Guitar Hero I and II, the guitar, and the Wireless Guitar Pedals.  Altogether,this cost me about $130.  She also begged me to give her her birthday present the day of her party, so if she got Guitar Hero, she and her firends could play with it during the sleepover.  Against my better judgemetn, I decided to do as she asked.  Today she asked if she was getting the iPod she wanted for her birthday.  I pointed out that she'd gotten her present and she actually cried.  She thought sh'e get another expensive present on her real birthday.  Guess she's more spoiled than I thought.  I guess I'll have to fix that sooner than later.

Wendy

[leapyrtwins]

Hey, guys!

I was going to put your lunch event on the AN Calendar, but I wasn't sure where you're meeting.

Can someone let me know?  or can someone post it on the calendar?

Thanks,

Jan

[wendysig]

Jan -
I thought Debbi said something about July 19 being the date, but in looking back as the posts can't find anything.  Can everyone who is interested in this luncheon check in and say if the 19th is good for them?  The 19th is perfect for me I just wish Lori and Jan could be there too.  Also, I know Debbi sort of took charge of this, do we have a time and plac?.  I know she mentioned someplace near Madison Square Garden or Penn Station (pretty much the same location), but can't remember what she said.

Wendy

[Jim Scott]

Hi, Jan:

I really don't wish to hijack the thread (well, maybe for just a minute) but after reading your message regarding your pre-teen daughter's expensive tastes, I wanted to pass along what I taught my (now adult) son: never allow possessions, brands and being trendy to define who you are.  I'm sure you've set a good example as you certainly don't seem to be the shallow, narcissistic type at all, although you are droll, but I thought it worth mentioning as your daughter is at a vulnerable age and our society - via advertising and then, peer pressure - tries to convince young women that they are what they wear or own and that is an unhealthy outlook, as you know. We're also an affluent and often materialistic society and that simply compounds the problem.  Not that I mid being a citizen of one of the most affluent countries on the planet, but I've seen what runaway materialism can do to ruin people and I find that sad.  Certainly not something anyone would want their children to get into.  Success is great but greed and a lust for money and what it can buy (beyond a reasonably comfortable life, which we all want) can be destructive on many levels.  Trying to acquire everything the market offers in order to fulfill some inner need won't ever take the place of human relationships and the joy of helping others. 

Not trying to meddle, just mentioning what I thought was important on a subject you raised (your young daughter's expensive tastes).  My son has expensive tastes in some areas, but he works hard to pay for those and has never been materialistic or allowed his possessions to define him.  The kid learned well.    I'm sure your daughter will, too.  She'll have a great teacher. 

Jim