Life is looking good and then the AN shows up

[Nancy Drew]

Hi!

Some of you are getting to know me pretty well these days, and I am full of thoughts and questions.  I don't know if many of you can relate, but I'll give it a try.  My AN was found by accident, and it was totally mind boggling when I heard that I have a "brain tumor".  I have bipolar disorder, and I has always said, "Watch me get my bipolar under control, and then I''ll get a brain tumor or something."  That's what happened.  Bummer.  Was life looking pretty good for some of you, and then this whole AN stuff came up out of nowhere.  I am still shocked about the whole thing.  Just looking for some folks who also had their AN found by accident.

Nancy

[Pooter]

My AN wasn't exactly found by accident, but the symtoms came on pretty suddenly (ringing and hearing loss).  Never in my wildest dreams did I suspect an AN or anything like it.  Life was good for me prior to the AN.  Life has surely changed since then.  Then bammo..  I know exactly what you are talking about.  I suspect that most of us do.

Brian

[leapyrtwins]

Nancy -

I can relate to bad timing.  I was diagnosed with my AN six months after my very long, expensive, nasty divorce.   I was just getting myself and my children back on track emotionally and financially and things were looking up for all of us when I got the news.  I went from feeling on top of the world and anxious to get my life back together to worrying about having treatment and wondering what my life would be like.

Thankfully everything turned out fine, but for a while there things were very stressful.

Jan

[Kaybo]

Nancy~
I was 25, only been married 1 year and about to start a having kids (my lifelong dream of being a mother was finally about to start!) and BOOM! things changed overnight!  However, I think that I have done a good job getting on with my life.  It was a little roadblock, but things are great now - a little different than we'd planned, but good none the less!!

K

[leapyrtwins]

Kaybo -

you have not only done a good job of getting on with your life - you have done an excellent job of getting on with your life 

Jan

[Kaybo]

Jan~

AAAWWWW...thanks...

K

[Jim Scott]

Nancy:

I think a lot of us can relate to this so thanks for bringing it up. 

I had taken early retirement and within a year, my AN symptoms showed up,  big-time.  Not that we had planned to sail around the world or anything grandiose, but I had hoped to spend more time with my wife and doing things I liked to do, rather than spending it in doctor's offices and hospitals.  O.K., I was fortunate that I didn't have to deal with work issues or raising small children, so I can't complain too loudly.  Still, it was ironic that soon after I decided to retire, I'm hit with a serious health problem requiring brain surgery when, up until then, I had never had any serious health issues my entire adult life.

I'm thankful that I came through the whole ordeal in pretty good shape.  Still, it was quite a shock and the timing was somewhat paradoxical.  I suppose finding out you have a brain tumor when things are otherwise looking good is preferable to finding out you have a brain tumor when things are otherwise going badly.  Of course, the constant is that finding out you have a brain tumor is always a 'bummer'.

Jim

[Patti]

My children were in 5th and 7th grade and finally in the same middle school building as me so life was much easier.  I was becoming an experienced but not burnt out science teacher and enjoying teaching my daughter's friends.  I did have headaches for years, but then i started vomiting with the head pain some mornings.  Then I quickly developed a hearing loss and tinnitus.  I was always tired but more tired than usual.  I started to get a little forgetful.  I went to the doctor and said i just didn't feel well and maybe I had a sinus infection-could he give me antibiotics?  He asked me to walk in his office and i stumbled and told him i am clumsy and always bump into doorframes.  He sent me for an MRI with a suspicion I couldn't read and he didn't say and i didn't ask.  I had the MRI done.  An hour later, his nurse called and asked me to come in that day.  Thant is when i knew it was serious and the craziness began.  Why does it feel good to discuss this?  Patti  

[leapyrtwins]

Patti -

it feels good to discuss this because you know that we can all relate    IMO our common ground is one of the greatest things about the forum.

Jan

[Tamara]

I am trying to look at this as an interesting chapter in my life.  After all, a book is not very interesting if it's all roses and sunshine, now is it?  It sometimes takes the challenges to help us better appreciate the joys.  I don't wish that to sound pompous or anything, just trying to keep it in perspective.

Tam, enjoying the beautiful weather, sunshine, and love of family and friends...

[leapyrtwins]

It sometimes takes the challenges to help us better appreciate the joys.

Tam -

I don't think this sounds pompous at all.  I think it's very insightful and very true.  IMO it's a wonderful perspective.

Jan

[Nancy Drew]

Hi everyone,

It is nice to get replies from this post because it makes me feel not so alone.  Of course, it is only reasonalbe for all of us to be shocked when we find out about our ANs.  Sometimes I read post from all of you, and I cry just from the relief that I know you can relate.  I think a lot of people I've told about the AN really don't want to hear about it or talk about it because they don't know what to say.  Kind of like when one loses a loved one and people tend to push away or avoid talking about the person"s loss.  In all actually the loved one really wants to talk and be around people to discuss their loss.  I have one really good friend who listens to me, and I appreciate her so much.  But, I do think we have something in common that binds us together.  Her baby was born with a rare syndrome that can cause tumors to grow on his liver.  He has to have an ultrasound every three months until he is eight years old.  Her baby is six months old so she can relate to the scary part about not knowing what is going to happen.

One thing I did do yesterday was to take a break from this AN forum.  I had become addicted, and I felt like I had a mini vacation.  I had time to regroup, and I am in a better place.  I know that I have to take it one day at a time.  Tomorrow I have my balance test, and then the next Monday I see the doc for the second opinion.  I am trying to reduce my anxiety by doing things I enjoy.  I am working in my yard which I love and have neglected since I found out about the growth.  I have also decided not to discuss my AN with anyone except my good friend.  I have decided to limit the discussion with my husband also because it makes him feel scared, I think.  So, it is nice to have all of you here.  You all are very much appreciated.

Nancy

[calimama]

HI There,

I am a new postie, having just had surgery 20 days ago. I am just getting back on line after a week in hospital, and a few busy weeks settling back at home.

I am not sure if my AN diagnosis was an "accident" but i can tell you it was a real shocker!! The MRI was ordered to "rule out" an AN, after my ENT did hearing tests, checked my ears and could find no explanation for my decreased hearing (i had the classic drop off at high frequencies) and tinitus.

I am 39 and was in the process of trying to getting pregnant with baby number 2 when i found out i had a "tumor" (HOLY SH*T!) and should do something in the next 6 months (i.e. forget getting pregs). I found out at the end of January and it was a rough few months but I can see that you found your way here so you will probably find that in good time, the reality will set in and you will find that will this really sucks, it is not the end of the world and you will get past it.

I had no intention of surgery after reading about the risks of surgery and some stories that people who had been through it. But in time, with more information that was relevant to ME, i ended up going this way and now here i am, a "postie". I am facing many of the same issues as lots of people here have, and to honest, it's not so bad because they shared their experiences and concern with me everyday and i came to know that I could do this.

It seems your tumor is small, so that is good news. This key, not that you have a small tumor, but there is good news. You already know it is benign, this is also good news. So an important thing to know is that even in the darkest days, there is some good news, some silver lining, if you look (hard sometimes!) and keep talking. I actually kept my diagnosis a secret from many of my closest friends and family (i was emailing best friends the day before surgery!). It was just my way.

I wish you peace in dealing with all that you will face, and hope that you will come back here when it is all over (ok, is it ever "over"? it is a journey really, not a destination) and share like the good people you find here.

Best wishes, hand in there, smile big.

Trish from Toronto Canada

[rosalie]

Nancy,

Although I knew something was wrong with my hearing, I certainly wasn't expecting to be diagnosed with a brain tumor! I know that it's never a good time to find out about this, but in some ways I'm glad it happened when it did. We had just moved to be closer to my daughter and grandkids. So even though we don't have many friends here we have family that can help out. I know that will be important in the weeks to come.

Like you, I've taken a little break from this forum. Even though I've only posted a few times I can spend way too many hours reading other peoples posts. In one way it's very comforting to know that I'm not the only one going through this, but in other ways it stresses me out.

Rosalie

[Nancy Drew]

Hi Rosalie,

It is ok to take a break.  Sometimes I think it is good for your mental health.  I hope your surgery goes well.  I'll be thinking of you.  Hang in there.

Nancy