Nancy,
Slam you? Not at all! On the contrary! We've ALL been in the same spot round about the same time as you are now. There is NOTHING to be slammed. I know I screamed, numerous times and loudly too. Boy did I what. I mean, how the heck DOES one decide??? My Renault is better than a Skoda (ok, we have different cars here), but they both have an engine and four wheels and get us from A to Z. Why a Renault over a Fiat or who knows what? How does one decide?
Frankly, I do not push either CK, or GK or Surgery. The moment I stopped screaming was the day I realised that in the end, I had to make the choice. I could read as mcuh and as extensively as i wished, but in the end it was my choice, and only mine. So, it might have been unscientific, but the ONLY way I found that helped me making a decision was to think ahead. What treatment made me feel comfortable? What set of cricumstances made me feel at ease? What people did I feel comfortable with? I decided I'd better pick a path that I was prepared to follow all the way, with no regrets, no 'what ifs' and no 'I should haves'.
But, that's me. I found my way, after months of screaming, confusion, doubts, panic, pain, fear, determination, gritting my teeth and not really understanding a lot of the stuff I read.
And, I may add, in the end, I realised, I just kept reading the same stuff over and over and it was just presented slightly differently, with more or less details. But it all led to one place, comfort zone, personal choice.
So no, I'm certainly not going to slam you, In fact I'm glad you got to this point, because one has to before being able to make a decision, I think. it shows you are about ready to make the next step. And you know the best part for me when I made that decision? It felt wonderful. All the doubts, confusion, fears, all vanished in an instant.
Welcome to this mad club of ours!
Ciao, Lorenzo
PS (had to add a PS here, sorry. It might sound like I'm pushing for CK in my posts, but I'm not. It's the only experience I had, so it's the only one I can feel comfortable talking about. I'm sure others are the same. I respect people's choices, who am I not to respect them! I'm not trying to convert anybody to CK or anything else. My own experience with CK was not all rose and had it's tough times too, very tough for me at the time. I still wouldn't change my personal choice.
I hope this helps in some way and not confuse you even more. By any means, keep away from here if it's confusing even more. Only come back if it helps. We'll all be glad to help if we can, in the only way know how to, being here.
Ciao