Jan,
Your response did not offend me in any way. If fact it only shows how much you care. The struggle is hard, and the mental torture is wearing me out. Because I call this journey a mental torture most likely means that to continue to W & W is not in my future. I have W & W since 2005 so that means I have had some mental fortitude to go on with it, but I am not feeling that fortitude any more now that the AN is startiing to act up--even though my "acting up" is slight in comparison to what other people here are going through. But, mental symptoms are harder for some people than others. I have read here that many people can do the waiting even when they have a growing AN in their head. I admire those people, and it seems to work for them. I tend to be a very impulsive person. I don't want to "jump in" at this point without thinking first. I have been doing a lot of thinking, and a lot of the thinking has turned into crying. I don't want to cry for the rest of my life because I made an impulsvie decision. Like I said, I think I am going to go with GK--just tryiing to find the doctor who is a good fit for me. Whatever happens, I will have to accept my situation. My bipolar isn't easy, but I manage it and don't let it become who I am. I am so much more than my bipolar, and I know I will get to the point where I can also say that I am so much more than my AN. Thanks for your support Jan. It means a lot.
Cheryl R,
You gave me some good info about the noise in my ear. I don't know much about your type of AN, and I can't imagine what it must be like to have to deal with both ears and many tumors. I am sorry you have had so many different kinds of noises, and I wish you could have kept the violin ones if you are going to have noises anyway. Hopefully the noises will go away--I will cross my fingers for you. I was just telling my husband that the noise in my ear sometimes sounds like being in Louisiana sitting on my grandmother's porch at her lake house listening to the crickets churp. Those are good memories, but I don't want to carry these cricket around in my head forever. What a journey this is, and it is different every day. Thinking about you and thanks for sharing.
Nancy