Hi Scottie, You may have read some of my previous posts and already know that my tumor originated from my facial nerve so damage was inevitable. However, when I woke up in ICU I was able to smile at my family and I could hear perfectly. After a few hours I began to lose my hearing and my facial movement. It didn't hurt or anything...the best way I can describe it was that I felt like I was melting. I remember reading one of your posts about how your self-esteem took a hit after your first surgery, well I feel the same way. I hope that you will realize that there is also a chance that you will NOT have paralysis or that if you do, it doesn't mean it will be permanent or severe. I am almost 6 months post op and have had slow but continuous improvement. When I left the hospital I was a 6 on the House-Brackmann scale and was told that it would be forever like this because my facial nerve was so damaged. I am now a 2 on that same scale!!! My eye is what bothers me most and even that is slowly getting better.
Scott I know you have to be afraid but please hold on to your hope and try to find positives to hold close. You might even come out of surgery better than you are now...I have read stories that have that kind of success.
I usually don't share these truths about my life but I am going to now. I am a single 50 year old woman, reasonably attractive,(most people guess me at mid-thirties), I am quite petite and have always been a bundle of energy. When I came home from the hospital my boyfriend of a few years came to see me one time........he left my life because as he put it " he couldn't take looking at me"! Talk about a blow to the ego. Anyway, I am sharing this so you might understand when I tell you I met a new man 4 weeks ago and he thinks I am beautiful. He says my slightly crooked smile is very charming..
. At almost 6 months post op I am dating, going out to dinner, dancing (slightly wobbly but still dancing) and I have discovered that true beauty and worth can not be measured by external appearance.
I truly hope that something you read here with give you peace and encouragement. I also want to thank Mark and others like him that show us all a different approach to treatment besides surgery. I am glad that I personally didn't take that route because of the location of my tumor but, its great to be totally informed of "all" treatment options.
Deb I know how you feel when you have fear and doubt about whatever treatment you have chose. I do the same "what if" thing in my mind all the time. However, I am now at peace with my choice and am determined that the rest of my life will be better because of the lessons I learned in such a harsh way.
Okay....I will shut up now.ÂÂ
Much love to you all and all the best for this new year.     Sherry