Judy,
I know how you are feeling!! I have been on anti-depressants since being a couple months post (I am know at 23 months). When I took a short term medical leave from work to try and figure out the new me I realized that anti-depressants alone were not enough. I found a individual therapist (she is wonderful) that is helping me cope with all the different emotions that I am going through. I thought hey the doctors removed the tumor so in a few months I would be back to my old self. Well I realized that the old me was left on the surgery table and I was a totally diffrent person physically, emotionally. Somedays I really miss the old me but, I am slowly starting to accept the new me and I can have a happy life being this new person that I am becoming. Oh believe me I still have my down days (we are entitled to grieve for our old self) but, I take one day at a time because life goes on no matter how we are feeling.
Maybe going to counseling to help deal with the emotional side of a AN will help. You will be in my prayers. Always remember here we can all relate to what you are going through and are always willing to listen and give what advice we can.
Golden