Attitude Change after A N removal?

[28Lisa]

Is it normal to be short tempered after surgery?

Most aggravating thing is to get across what you're saying to others so I stress words out of frustration and anger and Im not a mean person.  It used to take a lot to even get me annoyed fartherless angry.

~Lisa

[leapyrtwins]

Lisa -

personally I found myself short tempered after surgery too.

The fatigue and the frustration can do that to you.  It's hard not to be "yourself".

Give yourself some leeway.  Your surgery wasn't that long ago and it sounds like you've got some complications you're trying to deal with.

Hang in there; hopefully things will get better.

Jan 

[Jim Scott]

Lisa:

I believe that AN surgery does bring out the worst in you.  Jan has it about right; fatigue and frustration are major factors in our mood changes.  AN surgery is debilitating to our bodies and they need time - and lots of rest - to get back to normal.  This saps our strength and can make us short-tempered. 

Another element is the loss of control, which can be very upsetting to some people (Jim sheepishly raises his hand).  I resented being weak and somewhat 'disabled' before and immediately after my surgery (which went exceedingly well).  I didn't much like not being able to follow my routine and do whatever I felt like, when I felt like doing it.  This threw me off and I reacted by snapping at  the people around me; mainly, my wife, who was trying to help me but, in my skewed view, seemed to be 'mothering' me, which I resented to no end - and I freely told her so.  My wife (of 38 years) has told me that, during this trying period in our lives, she was skeptical about being able to remain married to me if this crabby, sometimes unreasonable guy I had become was going to be her 'new' husband.  Thankfully, this phase passed as I fully recovered and I'm back to being even-tempered.  Well, sort of.    I trust that, as you recover, you'll return to being the person you once were.

Jim

[MAlegant]

Hi,
I agree that it is normal to feel this way immediately after surgery.  When you have side effects (the gift that keeps on giving?) it reminds you every day of things you would rather not think about.  (This is my therapist talking but I agree with her.)  Although I am mostly only short tempered with my husband, probably because I feel safest acting honestly around him.  Personally, I would say to go with it and not give yourself a hard time about it.  I am on a low-dose anti-depressant (keeps me from being too anxiety-laden) am able to exercise and have a good therapist.  All of these things are helping me to get through this.  Oh yes, and this forum, which could make millions if it charged people to join, has probably done more to help me emotionally than anything.
Best,
Marci

[lori67]

Lisa,

A big, huge YES to that question!  I've been known to have a short fuse from time to time, but right after my AN surgery, I felt like a time bomb ready to explode at any minute!  I felt like I was taking my frustration out on my family - I'm sure my husband didn't care too much, but I didn't want to do that to my kids.  My doctor started me on a mild anti-depressant, which helped a lot and kept me from choking everyone within arms length.  That's always a good thing.

It does get better - once I was able to work off my frustration doing other things, like exercising, gardening, or whatever, things got back to normal.

Lori

[yardtick]

Lisa,

I think just the diagnoses of acoustic, facial or trimengial neuroma is enough to change anyone's attitude.  Its a shock to the system.  Some of us have no say in the treatment, they are just rushed into surgery.  Others have time to decide what treatment option they want to under go.  The decision is not on easy one.

It is a life altering event.  Some of us have many complications and were not prepared for them.  Dealing with dizziness, headaches, swallowing issues, eye issues and facial paralysis is not a walk in the park.  It is great some bounce back so quickly, but those that do not it just adds to the change in attitude.

I cringe every time I see someone much younger than myself join the forum.  I know how problematic my facial neuroma has been.  It breaks my heart to read about Satman's latest issues, Taylor's new fight and now Lisa you are only 27 and I feel you should not be going through this.  I had my first son at 27.  I admire Kaybo, her journey started when she was 24 and she has gone on to have 3 gorgeous daughter.  She a hero in my eyes.  Actually if one really stops and things we are all heros.  We are here and alive.

My attitude this past summer has been I do not care about a dam thing except, I care about my immediate family, those close to me who try to understand what I'm going through and everything else is irrelevant.  Oh I enjoy reading a good book, a long hot bubble bath, the occasional glass of wine and I love following the US elections.  (I'm Canadian and I find yours so much more interesting.)   I also care about this forum.  It has been a blessing, I know I've said this a lot in my postings, but it's true. 

You cannot go through something like AN and not have a different attitude.  I am grateful though, this is all I have is to deal with.  My issues from my facial neurona are painful, and annoying but I also know it can always be much worse.

Hang in there Lisa, I know you been through a battle but you have won. 

Anne Marie

[sgerrard]

Oh yes, and this forum, which could make millions if it charged people to join, ....

Dang, how did we miss that? 

I found that I was mostly shorter tempered at work, with an odd sort of build up and explode mode going on. I would get frustrated with various people, and then suddenly the next person would get an earful. I'm not sure if they thought it was a medical thing, or that I was just getting old. 

Besides fatigue and frustration (which would be enough), I think there is a kind of disoriented feeling that comes from having the nerves in your head rearranged, so to speak. Having things feel different in your head, and having your perception of things around you changed, puts you on edge. It takes a while to get used to it again.

Steve

[LADavid]

I was a bit different.  I found myself emotionally flatlined.  Initially I think I was pretty tense being pumped up on steroids.  Maybe it was the booze and painkillers that evened me out  .  Actually, since I was dealing with so few people, there was no one to have a short fuse with -- and the fact that I am a pretty laidback Californian.

Somewhere around here there was a thread discussing emotional rollercoasters post surgery.  It's sort of an adjustment to post-surgery reality.  I can't remember whether everyone was in agreement as to whether it was physiological or psychological or both.  But I think everyone agreed that the immediate postie world was not the same -- it takes time to adjust since there was such an emotional and physical trauma placed on your mind and body.  It is my experience that little is known or even investigated about the postie world.  Doctors deny the Wonky-Head -- but it exists.  Ever feel like your head was a water balloon?  Try to get a doctor to explain that to you.  My PT on the other hand said that is a normal issue with her patients.  Sort of a disconnect.  My two cents.

David

[Omaschwannoma]

....sitting in the back raising hand

Me too, with the impatience thingy, and I'm coming up on 4 years post op in January.  Even though I feel great, I sigh more, close my eyes more and take deep breaths more than ever.  Not sure this will ever go away.

Hey David, whaddya mean doctors don't know about "wonky head"?  and you went to House, I would've though they would'nt deny this?  Find it hard to accept they haven't looked into post issues more closely as this is where our lives become interesting!  I agree totally with you. 

My three cents. 

[JulieE]

In my opinion, the attitude change came on during growth, as I have friends from college I spent alot of time with who say they never saw me mad; to being somewhat agitated all the time.  I kind of jokingly wanted to ask my neurosurgeon if there was a "***** switch" he could turn off while he was in there.  I was kind of hopeful that the removal of the AN would be the switch, but it turns out I am hardwired, as I found out when I had what I would term a 'tantrum' a couple weeks after surgery.  Everyone wanted to blame it on the steroids, but I know now, 6 months post-op, that it has more to do with fatigue, as other people here have suggested... I am less and less fatigued every day, and more and more able to cope.  I have many examples of a (poorer response than I would like) when tired, but I am lucky to have many positive people around me who instruct me to acknowledge these feelings, and just let them pass in a noncritical manner (toward myself as well as others).  Easier said than done, I know - especially when it comes to driving with idiots who fail to signal on the road! 
Jules

[28Lisa]

lol jules

If I am told something I dont want to hear I would scream and stomp my foot or hit my "good hand" on things lol

My 3yr old daughter would walk up to me and say "mama r u ok?" then I'll calm down, its weird how fate works

WHAT A TWIST

[JulieE]

I've been there...and then we end up hurting our good hand!  Just saw it's your 1 yr. anniversary of surgery and agree with Kays suggestion of pedicure.  I went to a Vietnamese lady for a pedicure who looked beyond my face after surgery told me "you so sexy"!  She may have been working for a tip, but I ate it up anyway!
Hope today is alternatively filled with positive experiences!
LOL,
Julie

[pswift00]

I'm the opposite.  I was very short tempered before surgery, and would go off on coworkers and others over the slightest things.  No, post-op, nothing seems to get to me.  It just seems that everything that was so important is pretty trivial right now.  Even the post-op complications like facial paralysis aren't really getting to me.  It's like, well, that's how it is so I've just got to deal with it.  Getting upset about it isn't going to change it.  This is really surprising even to me, because before surgery I was scared s--tless about facial paralysis.  Of course, maybe in a year from now after they do the nerve graft if I don't get movement back in my face I might feel differently, but for now everything is totally kosher.  It does  bum me out that beer now tastes totally awful.  I do miss my friend beer.

[Joef]

  It does  bum me out that beer now tastes totally awful.  I do miss my friend beer.

I find that I like stronger tasting beer now .. English and Irish style  dark Beer (Bass Ale and Guiness!)   I remember the first time I had beer after surgery .. I had bad facial issues then .... so I asked the bar keep for a staw!

[sgerrard]

Hey Julie, isn't that a new picture in your profile? Looks great!

Steve