So i have been very busy recently and i found some time before me falling asleep before the keyboard to write to you.
thank you marianna (mk) for your supporting personal messages!!
First the week started with some master;s admission exams for the first three days in row, i didn't have any lunch breaks so i was allowed to go out of work an hour earlier. then after 8 hours straight at work i ran for my exams for 3 more hours each!!
Then on Thursday i woke up at 6 am so as to get ready and go out - i have never been to the hospital where i had my MRI this time and since it was away from home, i reached it in an hour. to cut the story short, although i had a 3 week earlier appointment for 8 am, i got in to the MRI scanner 40 min late. anyway, they finally took an MRI for me and since i have already paid for contrast (yep in Bulgaria we pay for it - it is only the simple MRI scanning that the state health agency covers
![Undecided :-\](https://www.anausa.org/smf/Smileys/classic/undecided.gif)
) they came and injected it to me till the end of the whole MRI scanning. then scanned me for 5 more min and that was it. Overall, i HATE MRI scanners - these are so scary for me!! i always get panicked when i had to go through this.
![Undecided :-\](https://www.anausa.org/smf/Smileys/classic/undecided.gif)
i was well late for work as you can imagine (thanks God i have such an understandable chief), again without lunch break - this time i used it to go back and take my MRIs, i ran to my health care center (it is private, i pay for it in addition) straight after work. there i had an appointment with a surgeon and breast cancer doctor. the surgeon prescribed me to have full blood examination on the next morning; breast front - nothing to worry, finally something positive.
So today (Oct 3) at 6:30 i headed up to this medical center again to have blood examinations and an appointment with my neurologist. She is a wonderful doctor and person!
Looking at my MRIs, me sitting on the bed straight after the blood exam - i almost faint every time when they take blood, i am so scared of the pin getting into my vein- brrrr - the neurologist explained to me what she saw. Actually, my AN is huge - 4.6 x 2.1 x 3.1 cm. I remember that these were the approximate sizes of the tumor last year when first discovered, which means that it has grown to its initial size despite my two partial resections.
![Cry :'(](https://www.anausa.org/smf/Smileys/classic/cry.gif)
Meanwhile, last week i had a bad cold which worsened my vertigos and dizziness and even before having an MRI, i called the doctors in Hannover, Germany and asked them to have an appointment for surgery. The very next day (Thursday) i received an email asking me to confirm that Oct 12, 2008 is suitable for me. So did I. I had been waiting for an answer from HEI, LA for a week then and the moment i got in contact with the doctors from Hannover, i received an answer from HEI on he next morning.
Anyway, I do not regret for my decision in any case and since HEI told me to reserve a surgery date 4 - 6 weeks in advance, i preferred Hannover. In INI Hannover i had to ask for a date only 12 days ahead.
Now I had to book me and my brother's flights for next Friday or Saturday, still do not know. I asked the woman who got in contact with me from INI Hannover via email yesterday and still do wait for an answer. i even called her today several times, but only the telephone secretary switched on!! they have no customer service policy!!!
![Angry >:(](https://www.anausa.org/smf/Smileys/classic/angry.gif)
I do not know when exactly when they want me there for all the medical pre op exams and I do not know which flights to book and for how many nights to arrange the hotel stay. I am mad at her
![Angry >:(](https://www.anausa.org/smf/Smileys/classic/angry.gif)
- she is dealing with human lives and shows no concern!! i have to wait till Monday to get a reply from her, hopefully!! And since one of the flights of Lufthansa is already full, who can guarantee me that till Monday the other won't get full!! ?
My chief told me that if I want i can the next week free, but i prefer to go to work, rather than staying home and thinking constantly about the forthcoming surgery!
Tomorrow at 7 am (ugh another early hour
![Sad :(](https://www.anausa.org/smf/Smileys/classic/sad.gif)
) i am travelling by train to my hometown to visit it and my parents for my last time before surgery and then getting my packs ready for the long journey!!
Hrissy
PS Finishing this letter, i realized that on this day (Oct 3, 2007) one year past i had my first surgery ever (both my first AN surgery which turned out to be the first in my life) in my life and now i am expecting the third. i am a bit tired and scared but hope this resection will be the last - after all they cannot open my head numberless times, right?!