I'm new here...and a new mom

[Kaybo]

Oh Vonda~
I'm so sorry.  I will just pray all day and tonight that you will hear from the insurance company tomorrow and they will pay for everything.  What company is it?  Maybe someone here has some helpful experience with them...

K

[mimoore]

Hi Vonda,
How frustrating for you. Here in Canada we wait and wait to see specialist, it's always something. Have faith everything will work out. Call again tomorrow, be a pain, the squeeky wheel gets the oil. Let me know how it goes - we are all here for you. I breast fed all three of my children then right into a cup. I understand how you are feeling about Lilly.
Michelle 

[CROOKEDSMILE]

I understand your frustrations of not being able to breastfeed your little girl. I tried to breastfeed both of my children but never had the milk supply to keep up. My last son weighed 11 pounds 7 ounces at birth and was in the NICU for over a week so unless I could breastfeed this big guy every 10 minutes then he just wasn't happy. Well....he ended up on Enfamil with Iron. He is now 3 years old and never had an ear infection and hasn't been ill in over a year! Very healthy immune system! The formulas that are made these days are very similar to breastmilk and provides all of the vitamins and minerals that your baby will need. You won't get the bonding from breastfeeding but I can assure you that the bonding will happen no matter what as you tend to your baby's needs through feeding her with a bottle and lots of cuddling! Please don't put so much pressure on yourself right now with this issue as you have many other things that are so important to tend to. Your baby will be just fine....I promise. I was a neonatal/pediatric nurse for 13 years and even our lactation consultants agreed that the formula is well fortified. Good luck with your insurance and try not to burden yourself with things that will be okay either way. It doesn't make you less of a mother when you can't breastfeed and when your child is older she won't care what she was fed as long as she has YOU.
Angie

[MaryBKAriz]

Hi Vonda,

I can "hear" the pain in your heart over this. I hope the insurance company gets back to you today. I am sending you a BIG Hug!

Mary

[mrgarlic]

Greetings Vonda, Number one you are seeing the best doc ever. He treated my AN in 2004 and I go back again for a different tumor in a few weeks, maybe I will see you there. Number two. Keep your humor. We need all the humor we can muster. It's a pain killer. My nerves are regenerating from 2004 and I have fun with wiggling my chin and making my eye blink. We are here for you and your family. My e-mail address is posted, don't hesitate to e-mail direct. That's why we list them. Take care and don't leave us. ,,,,,,,,,PS,, When I first posted someone made a wise crack about my name ( mrgarlic) and I was offended and said so. The joke was on me. They were telling me to "back off" I didn't catch the fact that they were reffering to  garlic.   All was forgiven and forgotten and laughed about. Hang in there Vonda,,, Larry

[mk]

Hi Vonda,

I have been following your posts and I wanted to  give my two cents worth about the breastfeeding issue. I think that you are putting too much of a load on yourself with this. Sure, it is great to breastfeed your beautiful baby, but really, it is not the end of the world if you don't. I breastfed both my kids, and I can honestly say that it is one of the most difficult things I have done in my life. At 2-3 months, when they were going through growth spurts and feeding every hour, I was totally exhausted because of the lack of sleep. I can't even imagine doing this while recovering after major surgery.
Right now you should focus on yourself,  sorting out the insurance issues and getting treatment. Remember than more than everything your baby needs her mom to be healthy and well again, and the most important thing for you is to receive successful treatment and recover well.
Hopefully you will be able to get some answers from the insurance/doctors today.

All the best,
Marianna

[arkansasfarmgirl]

It's so nice to have a place to vent where people understand.

As I'm sure you could tell, I was having a really bad day sunday, and monday wasn't a whole lot better.    (especially since I used "retail therapy" to try and make myself feel better--now I have a bunch of crap to return to the store  )  But things are looking up.  We're making progress with the insurance company and hope to get an "Ok" from them soon.  My freezer is steadily filling up with **** juice, so if things go smoothly, I'll be able to get by.  We're planning to supplement with formula 50/50, just in case I have to be medicated longer than expected.  I appreciate all the reassurance about the possibility of having to wean my little girl.  I know all these things in my head, but it hurts my heart to think about it.  Besides all that, I'm very goal oriented and keeping her on the breast is giving me something to work toward.  And something to think about besides what is growing in my head.  I know it's going to be tough, but I have an awesome support system.  My mom and husband are totally willing to milk me like a cow if they have to.  LOL   

I have a verbal committment to buy my horse.  They are super nice people and the girl that will be riding my mare is real sweet and quiet, and Sally Sue (the horse) seemed to really like her, so maybe this will work out well.  The money will sure come in handy...  I hope that I'll be able to get back into horses in a year or so, but it's not my #1 priority.

My 3 year old told me he's ready for me to get the booger cut out of my head so he can go stay at Papa's house.  Gotta love kids.   

Vonda

[arkansasfarmgirl]

Ok, now I'm lauging my azz off because the word b o o b got beeped out.

[Kaybo]

Vonda~
I always thought that people just put in astericks themselves!!  I know I always thought that was a bad word...   Glad you feel better about the whole nursing thing.  I am also glad that things are looking up with the insurance and the horsey.

K 

[mimoore]

Yeah Vonda things are going in the right direction for you. 
Hopefully it won't be too long until your son can go to Poppas and you can be a postie.
Thinking of you and sending good vibes.
Michelle 

[sgerrard]

I hope that I'll be able to get back into horses in a year or so, but it's not my #1 priority.

I don't know about barrel racing, but horse back riding is something you can do again. I remember when David posted about riding again, so it can happen:
http://anausa.org/forum/index.php?topic=6283.0

I agree with Angie and Marianna, the main thing about being a good mother is wanting to be a good mother and being there for your kids. Like they say this time of year, its not the gift, its the thought that counts. Recently my sister had to remind me that our mother, at 81, is actually a "little old lady." I still can't really think of her that way, though; to me she will always be Mom.

Now mind your language...

Steve

[MAlegant]

Hey Vonda,
Sounds to me like you are doing your best to deal with a difficult situation in the best way possible.  You're worrying about the things we have all worried about.  I hope for you that all the problems resolve and you can get on with your life. 

As an aside, my son (now 20!) was a preemie and didn't really breastfeed well. I kept it up for 5 weeks (5 miserable weeks) until finally giving him formula. He's a big strapping 6 footer now, none the worse for the wear. 

Best,
Marci

[arkansasfarmgirl]

I am so frustrated right now, I just want to hide in a hole and cry.

My insurance company denied my request to receive treatment at House.  We are appealing, of course, but everything is taking longer than I want it to.  I have 2 lawyers involved now--one friend of the family and one the boss of a friend.  The ignoramous medical director at the insurance company is trying to say I can be treated at the university with GK.  WTF?  He apparently didn't even talk to the drs over there, just read on their website that they can treat ANs with GK.  Um, not mine you ignorant piece of ****.  I really don't need this stress.   I bet it would be good stress relief to hang that man up by his toes, horsewhip him until he bleeds, and then dip him in a vat of alcohol.  hehe  Instead, I had to make do with throwing our cordless phone at my husband because he wouldn't stop snoring...and broke the phone because I missed him and it hit the floor.  My little boy told me that was not nice and he was going to have to spank me if I threw a phone at his daddy again. 

Lilly is 12 weeks old now.  Growing like a weed.  :-D  My 3 year old wanted to be a Farmall tractor for Halloween.  I wish I knew how to post pics on here--he wore his costume to the church Halloween carnival last night and was so darn CUTE.  My little future farmer.  :-)

Vonda

[Jim Scott]

Vonda:

I was sorry to learn about your insurance problems.  You're not the first AN patient that has had to fight to receive the treatment you want, where you want it and with the doctor of your choice.  I trust that with two attorneys working on it, you'll ultimately be successful in your appeal.  Still, as you noted, the time wasted is frustrating.  Many folks here can empathize with your plight and totally understand your phone-throwing frustration.  Too bad it broke the phone and your little boy saw it, although his 'warning' about spanking you is kind of poignant.  Kids don't miss a thing, do they? 

Although Halloween isn't quite the way it was when I was a little boy (back in the Stone Age), it's still a fun time for little kids.  I love the tractor costume concept.  Try to post a photo. 

Jim

[CROOKEDSMILE]

Vonda,
I do hope that your insurance company decides to cover your surgery. Don't give up! In the meantime....maybe your husband is the one that needs to hide in a hole to keep from getting hit in the noggin w/the phone! Be good to the man because you're going to need him after your surgery. Sounds like your little boy is a good disciplinarian! Take care and Take a good deep, long breath. Pray. Have faith. I have to tell myself this all the time.
Angie