Kim:
I'm not sure of the specifics of your case, but you bring up some good points about leaving a 'tumor remnant'. If your tumor is isolated to the IAC, then the fate of the tumor remnant is dependent primarily upon the location of the remnant and the amount left behind. If the tumor extends all the way to the fundus (ie the lateral most portion of the IAC), then the surgeon has to be particularly careful as the blood supply at the lateral aspect is most robust--which can lead to re-growth. In general, the middle fossa approach is thought best able to visualize the lateral portion of the IAC, but may still require some 'blind dissection'--they use angled mirrors, fiberoptic scopes, etc for the lateral most end. Also, because of the angle of approach, the translabrynthine approach is able to get the lateral most portion of the IAC, but hearing is immediately sacrificed. Traditionally, the retrosigmoid has been least able to see the lateral portion(and there are papers out there that address this issue specifically). However, there are some surgeons (primarily neurosurgeons) who feel that they can visualize the lateral portion well despite the anatomic obstacles.
I empathize with your decision and situation as I recently went through it myself--October 22nd. There were some issues that I was, frankly, unprepared for despite massive reading and research. I can, however, state emphatically that I'm glad it is over and I have been recuperating at a good pace. If I can be of any help, please don't hesitate to email, etc. Good luck.
Dufreyne