Roger -
be careful you don't wear yourself out trying to get better too fast. Recovery from AN surgery takes time and lots of patience. I think your wife's idea of you "just getting better" is a very good suggestion and a great goal to shoot for.
Like Lori said, make your family the priority. Don't sweat the small stuff - deal with the most important things and let the rest go for a little while. No one is going to suffer if the house isn't spotless or if dinner isn't "gourmet".
If you can afford hired help, seriously consider it for things like house cleaning. Ask for all the help you reasonably can and accept all offers that come your way. You'll be surprised how many people - friends, family members, neighbors - will be happy to pitch in where you need them. Don't hesitate to ask others for specific things you need - a meal, a ride, a babysitter.
Chocolate, flowers, and an evening out are all wonderful ideas, too
Jan