Does Life get any Easier?

[Bobbibl]

I know I'm only 2 months out but does life get any easier then this?  I was left with SSD (normal hearing going into surgery) and extreme noise induced tinnitus (volume around me seems to be the only thing that effects it).  My life both professionally and socially seem to be headed down the drain.  I am single and in my 20's and was moving up the ranks of my company very quickly.  I've always been the outspoken, leader, workaholic type.  I just started working again and am back to traveling and taking out clients all the time (there choices of locations not mine).  These tasks are getting nearly impossible to do.  I've worked to hard to get where I am at and am trying to do whatever I can not to have this tumor change my life.   I spoke to an audiologist about baha/transear and they said they will not help me in noisey settings.  Any suggestions?

[leapyrtwins]

Bobb -

your audiologist is right about the BAHA (and the TransEar too, I suspect) it doesn't help in noisy settings - like crowded rooms.

I have always been outspoken and a leader, and that hasn't changed for me post op.  It doesn't need to change for you either.  Life is what you make of it, you just need to make a few adjustments and get used to your new "normal".

One thing that might help you is to suggest the location when you entertain clients so you can pick someplace that is conducive to your SSD.  If that's not possible, you should at least be able to ask for a table in a quiet section of the restaurant - and if you're uncomfortable attributing this request to your SSD, you can just say it's a better environment to discuss business 

Good luck,

Jan 

[Tumbleweed]

I'm sure you've already thought of this already, but it's worth mentioning in case you haven't: try to arrange seating so that your good ear faces your clients. That is, sit with the edge of the table immediately at your left (AN) side.

If it's a dinner date, try to arrive at 5 PM before it gets crowded and noisy. Also look for restaurants that have acoustic tiles or an irregular surface on the ceiling and lots of stuffed furniture on the floor. That keeps the noise down, too.

Best wishes,
Tumbleweed

[fbarbera]

One suggestion is to go a little easy on yourself and give yourself some time to adjust, adapt and heal ... two months is not a long time considering what a major surgery you've undergone.  Folks who have had surgery report steady improvement over the course of many many months after surgery and I'm sure you too will feel improvement.  So nothing in your life is going down the drain.  You may need to make some changes but you'll be back in due course.  Be well, Francesco 

[jazzfunkanne]

Hi Bobbi am only speaking from experience here, i think it takes abit longer to get over the removal of a large AN, mine was over 4.5cm, i think you may have returned to work abit early, i know your only in your 20s try and slow down a little, am nearly 2 years post op and just beginning to feel like my old self.

[Omaschwannoma]

One thing that does help me in noisy restaurants is to plug up the GOOD ear with a muscian's plug.  You can pick from three filters, I chose the middle one so I could hear the person talking next to me, but not the background noise.  It helps tremendously with toning down the background noise. 

Just yesterday I was in a restaurant with high ceilings, bare walls and floors, talk about noisey!  I put in my plug and "whalah" I was able to keep my stress level down and hear the people sitting on my "good side" also those sitting in front of me. 

Now, the people I was sitting with were hard of hearing, some had cochlear implants, others had nothing, and some had hearing aides.  They too were having much difficulty in this type of environment.  All of us know lip reading (I took classes) and when my lip reading teacher began to "sign" I loved it as I'm a new student to ASL.  This made for a much easier conversation between the two of us. 

There is a DVD for learning to "lip read", $50 I believe titled "I Can See You Talking".  I would recommend this to you.  It will take some diligence on your part to learn this or maybe there is a class you can attend. 

Either way, the ear plug will be a "quick" fix, learn to talk with it in so you don't "shout".  Have your partner tell you when your voice begins to raise, you will learn the feel of "vibration" your body has and you will learn to keep your voice at a proper tone.  Hope this helps and I too don't want to see you lose what you've obviously worked so hard to achieve. 

Telling those around you you are "hard of hearing" definately helps and will help others to understand your situation.  Most people do want to "help" others. 

There are some great "tips" posted here in Hearing Issues on "tips for the hearing impaired".  Do a search for this. 

[martin_ssd]

The noise issue, as you have experienced, is very real, even if you are not SSD.  I used to complain that lots of restaurants are designed with no consideration whatsoever for good acoustics.  I used to design sound studios...so this is a topic I know very well.  As someone suggested, avoid places full of hard surfaces.  In environments like that, sound energy just bounces around from surface to surface and what was a bunch of conversations turns into a mish-mash of unrecognizable noise.  In extreme cases this can be a problem even if both your ears work.

While I tolerated it in the past, now, with SSD, I don't any more.  I pretty much refuse to go to restaurants that I know are acoustically bad.  There's an Elephant Bar in my town that is just terrible: glass dividers everywhere, hard walls, metal surfaces on the walls.  I can't understand what the person sitting in front of me is saying.  It's bad.

If you can control your environment, the obvious choice is to try to aim your good ear towards those with whom you need to interact.  If that is not entirely possible, try to set it up so that you get a booth or table against a wall or glass.  Point your good ear towards the wall/glass.  Sound waves will bounce off the wall and you'll be able to hear others on your table better, even those on your deaf side.  Of course, if the restaurant is noisy all sound will compete for your attention.  It'll be better but not perfect.

Here's some Star Wars philosophy that is right on the money:

YOUR FOCUS DETERMINES YOUR REALITY

I think it was Yoda who said that.  Think about it.  Understand it.  Live it.  If you say this to yourself when you are pissed off because of your problem you will (or should) instantly shift your focus to what is really important.  What you choose to focus on today and on a day-to-day basis will most definitely determine your reality in the future.  Focus on what you want that reality to be and make it happen.

-Martin

[texsooner]

Bobbibl,

You can and certainly will adapt as time goes on. I too have a job that has a lot of interaction with people and I'm in many meetings. I think someone else said this already, but I usually arrive a few minutes early to the meeting to make sure I can sit in the side of the room giving me most exposure to my good ear.

I went back to work about 6 weeks post op. Now I'm about 3 months post op and I can tell you in the last few weeks that things have gotten much better and closer to what they were before the AN surgery. Keep a positive attitude. You will do well and can still reach all your goals.

Patrick

[JerseyGirl2]

Bobbibl,

You've gotten some great advice from all these postings! And I agree that, yes, things will definitely get better for you. Try not to be so hard on yourself (I know that's easier said than done!), but you've only recently been through a pretty major event -- brain surgery! -- and you're still in the recovery stage. I am sure that going from excellent hearing to sudden-onset SSD is awfully traumatic (my entry into SSD was very slow and gradual, to the extent that my brain had adjusted pretty well and I thought I was setting myself up for a "you just need a hearing aid" diagnosis when I got my AN diagnosis instead), and your brain is having to work overtime to adapt to your new "normal."

 As previous posters have said, positioning yourself in a room and within a group setting are absolutely critical. The whole process of a group situation in noisy surroundings is fatiguing as well -- you're constantly straining to hear what's being said, your brain is trying to put things into context, you're looking at other folks to glean visual cues for appropriate responses, etc., etc. It's hard work!

Even though the BAHA (and, as Jan posts, we also assume the TransEar) doesn't resolve the "noisy room" issue, it sure makes life a lot easier under other circumstances. Have you considered going to an audiologist for a BAHA demo? It might be worthwhile to give it a shot.

Best wishes as you continue to navigate your post-AN status. You sound like a resourceful guy, so just hang in there and you'll do fine!

Catherine (JerseyGirl2)

[Jim Scott]

Bobbiel:

I'm sorry to learn of your difficulties adjusting to your SSD.  I can't improve on the excellent suggestions already offered but I hope you'll consider them.  Aside from the obvious physical limitations of unilateral hearing loss, attitude is paramount in making the needed adjustments in your life to acknowledge and accommodate your SSD.  Although you had a very successful surgery, for which you are, no doubt,  grateful, you did lose the hearing in one ear and that has to be dealt with.  Experiencing such a profound loss of what is a natural ability is always stressful and certainly can alter our self-image.  That is compounded by the fact that this loss is affecting your ability to do your job and the situation gets more serious while your self-image as a vibrant, capable young man is further battered.  What to do?

The short answer is: adapt.   Whether you consider a BAHA device and/or simply alter your choice of restaurants and seating positions for business meetings, you need to meet this challenge (hearing loss) head on with creativity and a steely determination to surmount this obstacle.  Unfortunately, even the best surgical outcomes usually leave the AN patient deaf in one ear.  I was 'lucky' in that the onset of my deafness was slow and I had plenty of time to adapt.  However, even after quite a few years of being SSD and using various adaptive strategies, I still 'miss' some things (in certain environments/situations) and occasionally either have to pretend I heard something I didn't or say 'what?'.  Even so, few people in my acquaintance realize that I'm deaf in one ear.  I've mentioned it to some - out of necessity - but most act surprised when I tell them and they often forget, anyway, and will talk to me from a distance or talk too softly in a noisy environment, making it impossible for me to hear them.

SSD is a handicap but not a disability. It can be overcome with aids and a willingness to make whatever adjustments are necessary to function as you need to.  However, it is a reality you have to admit and then decide how best to deal with.  Many folks have accomplished this.  I'm certain you'll be another.  I trust this forum and the advice offered will be of some help.

Jim 

[Debbi]

Bobbibl-

I would echo what everyone else here has said - give yourself some more time to adjust.  I'm six months post op and am still adjusting (some would just say I'm slow...)  And, yes, there are some days when I feel discouraged and frustrated - but you can't let this define who you are.  You are still the same bright, gifted, successful person you were pre-surgery - now you just a have a few extra challenges.  And, if you need to feel mad once in awhile, go ahead!

Debbi

[arkansasfarmgirl]

Picture this for a good laugh about SSD:

My husband has otosclerosis in his right ear and needs surgery.  I'm pretty much deaf in my left ear from AN.  At home, we have side-by-side recliners--I sit on the right, Wes sits on the left.  WE CAN'T HAVE A CONVERSATION that doesn't involve lots of "huh?" "what?", etc and turning of heads 180 degrees so that we can use our good ears.  LOL  Those chairs have been there since we could both hear good and for some reason we haven't changed them yet.     We're in our 30s and I thought we'd be old and gray before we got to this place.    Drives visitors crazy.

[calimama]

A great discussion with lots of good tips and advice on how to handle SSD + tinnitus.

I just went to Whole Foods for lunch with 2 work colleagues and even though they know of my hearing loss and trouble in noisy places (and WF eating area is baaaaad in this respect) and offered to shift sitting around to accomodate me (i said "don't worry"), i could not hear the person on my left and struggled to hear the person in front of me. I was so happy to get outside where i felt more normal. I am not sure restaurants will ever be the same for me, but i know now that i need to look for places that work for me.

I don't expect things to change (i mean i don't expect the hearing or tinnitus to improve) so i think it comes back to fixing the things you can (e.g. choise of restaurants, choise of seating, etc. as discussed in other posts) and accepting the things you can't. I LOVE the Yoda reference (another of my favourite Yoda quotes is "do or do not. there is no try". i just throw it out there cuz it's brilliant).

I am also not afraid to ask people to speak up or to repeat things. People know my situation and seem happy to accomodate.

I must check out those musician's plugs. I had heard that putting an ear plug in the deaf ear helps, but have not tried this yet.

Sorry you are struggling with this. You are not alone.

[lori67]

I had similar difficulties right after my surgery as well.  I couldn't stand going to noisy restaurants or even certain stores - like Sam's club or anything big and echo -ey (is that a word?).  It took close to a year, but now I can honestly say those things don't bother me as much.  I try to avoid the noisy restaurants, but if I have no choice, I can handle it.  Sam's club is no problem either.  I think it takes a while to adjust from having good hearing one day, to having no hearing the next.

Once your body figures out what the heck is going on, it's not as bad.  In the mean time, I'd definitely use some of the other suggestions made here.  You certainly don't have to feel like you've lost all you've worked so hard for - you just might have to make some adjustments along the way.  It does get easier!

Lori

[leapyrtwins]

I too have a job that has a lot of interaction with people and I'm in many meetings. I think someone else said this already, but I usually arrive a few minutes early to the meeting to make sure I can sit in the side of the room giving me most exposure to my good ear.

Patrick -

prior to my BAHA surgery I had to do this also and it used to frustrate the hell out of me.  With the BAHA, I don't have to do this for meetings at work anymore - which IMO is a huge relief.

Have you considered a BAHA?  They aren't for everyone, but it's sure made a big difference in my life - both at work and at home.  The demo is very impressive; you might want to check it out.

Just a suggestion,

Jan