Laughing is truly known to release endorphins that make you feel good. So I hope this gives you a good chuckle.
When I die, I want to die like my
grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep.
Not screaming like all the
passengers in his car."
--Author Unknown
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
--Author Unknown
"Oh, you hate your job?
Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that.
It's called EVERYBODY,
and they meet at the bar."
--Drew Carey
"The problem with the designated driver
program, it's not a desirable job,
but if you ever get sucked into doing it,
have fun with it. At the end of the night,
drop them off at the wrong house."
--Jeff Foxworthy
"My Mom said she learned how to swim
when someone took her out in the lake and
threw her off the boat.
I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to
teach you how to swim.'"
--Paula Poundstone
"A study in the Washington Post says
that women have better verbal skills
than men.
I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."
--Conan O'Brien
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant??
I'm halfway through my fish burger
and I realize, Oh my God....
I could be eating a slow learner."
--Lynda Montgomery
Do you know why they call it "PMS"?
Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.
Okay......guys. Don't you feel better now?
Love,
Angie
