I think I'm going to implode!

[DLM4me]

The closer I get to surgery--April 8--the more wound up I'm feeling.  Sometimes I think I may implode!  It feels that way, anyhow.  It's all so overwhelming and daunting...and sometimes I just don't know what to do with all those pent-up feelings.

Well, switching gears to a much happier thought: I'm SO TOUCHED by the warmth and friendliness I've found here.  I cannot recall ever, in my 24+ years of online life, feeling so "at home" so quickly on any other site.

[cin605]

Take deeeep breath.....we are all here ....we will all be here for a long,long time i would imagine,Good Luck w/ your surgery.
cin

[anissa]

I SO know how you feel.  I am about beside myself with anxiety...two weeks from tomorrow.  I hope you can find plenty of things to keep you busy until your big day.  When is your surgery?

[DLM4me]

I've edited my OP, as it inadvertently changed the 8 followed by ) into a smiley face!  My surgery is April 8.

[cin605]

 where& how??

[Pooter]

Deep breath.. Deep breath...  You're among friends.  I remember being anxious before my surgery also.  It's okay to have butterflies, just force them to fly in formation.  Someone very wise told me that one time.  I love it, so I continue to use it close to 10 years later.

Regards,
Brian

[DLM4me]

Where: House (thank goodness I moved back home to SoCal recently!)

When: April 8

How: Don't know yet!  They're leaning toward sacrificing what little hearing remains on that (right) side, but I'll know for sure on April 7 at my final pre-op visit.

[suboo73]

Hi!  I know the deep breaths are good advice...  And i know how crazy this whole AN idea can make a person/people.
(My sister and i are both here, we know as we share this club.  We always say that we are 'speshal' and maybe we should call Oprah or Dr. Phil and see if we can get a gig on TV as suggested by our younger sister!)

We are ALL here from you! - we will be saying prayers and sending lots of good vibes your way.
In the meantime, several here have offered advice to keep busy.  I think even several have taken medicine to calm themselves prior to the surgery. (as long as it is doctor approved.)  Me, i would be eating (anything!), cleaning, and calling every single friend and family member just to say hello.  Whatever works for you.

Feel free to vent, we understand.  I like this line - "stay strong."  You can do it! 
We will cheer you right thru - oh gosh, i used to be a cheerleader in high school a million years ago....

GO TEAM GO!
Our best thoughts comin' your way!

Sue

[cin605]

take long walks....contact all resources.....try to get all paper work done that you won't want to deal w/ after.Stock up on any items of nessesity..tp,juice frozen food items if you do not have a personal cheif ...sleep...run up a hill...mow the lawn...take a bubblebath....read a good book & stock up on some others for recoup mode .make sure you have some body w/ you for post-op
1 week or two.take a long drive....in the dark!Practice mapping out the direct route to the bathroom & refrigerator....oh the endless
posibilities you have.Dance.......

[yardtick]

Enjoy a lovely glass or two of wine with someone special.  It has taken me a very long time to enjoy wine again.  Spoil yourself, get your hair done, a night out at the movies.....and also some nice quiet time to pray or meditate.  You know you are in good hands.  Put your faith in that and in God and you will be find your peace. 

Anne Marie

[LisaP]

Dear Anissa and DLM4

Best of luck to both of you.  I am still on the watch and wait, passed my last MRI with no growth,  I get nervous for myself and everyone on this forum who is facing surgery.  I have symptoms daily but my AN is small and I am still able to function in a new normal way.

My thought and prayers are with you both.  Please keep in touch and let us know how it goes.

LisaP 

[TaraT]

I know how you feel -- 1 week tomorrow.  I just try to keep busy.  There is so much I need to do before surgery, but I feel like I never accomplish anything.  When I saw the surgeon, he told me to go home and get on with life and not to worry about anything until surgery day -- yeah right!

[DLM4me]

This is going to sound so completely pathetic, but here goes:

I can't go for walks--for a variety of reasons.  One, residual effects from one of my broken bones (ankle); two, asthma that although [currently!] well controlled, makes activity difficult; three, DIZZINESS from the lovely AN.  Starting in June 2003 I fell three times and broke three bones, one requiring two surgeries and another one requiring one operation...and my dizziness is MUCH, MUCH worse now than it was then.  So walking is out.

I can't drive--I had to give that up a month or so ago due to...you guessed it!...the AN-related dizziness.

I can't read, at least not for prolonged periods (like more than 5-10 minutes) because it exacerbates the dizziness.  I've always been a voracious reader, so this really sucks.

I can't work on the computers--and I'm a programmer/sysadmin by profession, so computers are like...my LIFE--because of the dizziness.

I don't drink, so wine is out.

I basically can't do ANYTHING that requires standing up or even being upright for prolonged periods--so cooking is out, gardening is out, going to the beach is out, going to the movies is out, pretty much everything I enjoy doing. 

I know it sounds like I'm having a pity party, but I'm really not!  I'm just stating facts...pathetic sounding as they are! 

[wendysig]

DLM

It sounds like you activities are pretty restricted due to your physical limitations.  Talking on the phone to friends, having them over for a casual get together, or going to their homes, listening to music are other ways to keep busy and distracted.  If you feel like you need a tranquilizer,ask your doc -- my GP actually offered to prescribe something to help me relax but I declined.  I found keeping busy in lmy own way gave me more of a feeling of being in control of something.  Do what works for you.

Wendy

[suboo73]

I know it sounds like I'm having a pity party, but I'm really not!  I'm just stating facts...pathetic sounding as they are! 

DLM4me,

Hi again. 

Here's some thoughts - random thoughts, as my daughter says: 

If you DO want to have a pity party, i think you should - you are allowed!  But i understand that facts are facts.
I wish i was nearby - i would love to take you for a drive along the beach! (no beaches near my house)  I live in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia, so the Skyline Drive is an option if you don't mind the height.  Maybe a friend/friends could take you on a drive....  I HATE to ask for help, but have to now.

How about books on tape - yes, not as good as reading - but something to do.

Sorry about computers and your work - can you use that Speech Recognition software to do some work?

I understand about not drinking - alot folks don't.  Me, i have learned to appreciate a good glass of Crown Royal and Coke - even Crown on the rocks.  I prefer this to taking medicines, but that doesn't mean it is good for me.  Just a form of self-medication.  So i try to do so in moderation.

Can you get outside at all?  I have really been craving the sun on my face....  We have had a very dry winter, but still cold.  Now, it is getting warmer so going out alittle helps for me.

All my best to you.  I know your surgery day will go well. 
Thoughts and prayers to you.

Sue