Hi Vivian,
I was dx Friday of Memorial Day 2008. I became obsessed scouring for information, and discovered this board early on. Like others have said, it was a tremendous source of comfort and information. I haven't been on because after 6 months of obsession, I mentally needed a break. My thoughts and prayers are with all of those struggling before and after treatment for this, as well as those suffering otherwise. I have been given good advice by many here. I am from the camp that wanted to avoid surgery if at all possible. As has been mentioned, some of us lean strongly one way or the other, and it is a personal choice. I live a good distance from any places treating this type of thing, so my initial appointment was not until the end of July at Mayo Clinic. I was just told here by ENT that I was facing surgery and some tough times, but I'd be o.k. I shot off a question to the Cyberknife Forum re: size tumor etc, and was told that it was possible I was a candidate for radiosurgery. Knowing that time was on my side, I tried really hard to keep busy with summer, family activities. My first appt. confirmed I was a candidate for radiosurgery, so then I decided I would set an appt. for after Sept. and getting my daughter to college. It's a long story, but I did more research, decided I wanted cyberknife vs GK as my hearing is fairly good. More time passed than I would have liked, but ultimately I had CK at Stanford Nov 10-14. During this time, 2 acquaintainces were diagnosed with end-stage cancer - one has since passed. One dear friend is almost to the end of his time with ALS (Lou Gherig's) sp ? disease, and a work acquaintance was dx with ALS around the same time as I with the AN and he's been given about 1 year to live. My nephew has end-stage renal disease which is very prevalent in this country, so I have been involved in learning about this, as I was screened to be a donor. If people are lucky enough to get a kidney, they must be diligent about meds, etc. and it's not a permanent cure. The kidney will wear out. It's either this or they deal with the rigors of dialysis daily. There are many who make the most of it and it's now part of their life. But initially, they didn't want that either. I'm rambling. As has been said, you could say "why me" but then why not? One of lifes puzzles. I believe there's a reason, and I need to learn a few lessons. Just my perspective. I do look at life differently. I'm more grateful, as others have said, I'm more patient, I'm trying to slow down, and see life from other's perspective. One of the forumites said, something to the effect that maybe tomorrow, we'll be told we have something, and a little zap or operation isn't going to make it better. That hit home. I got to this point after alot of shock, why me and obsessing. I'm now almost 5 months out and overall have been doing well until a bump in the road last week end with bad vertigo. It was nice be aware this was not out of the norm from so many on this board. You'll get to a place of peace too, it may take some time. Keep researching, asking questions, take one day at a time, then when you do come to your gut decision, it may be beneficial to step back for a piece of time and give your mind a break.
This will settle in somehow and you'll get along o.k. Take care, Mona
